Don't Call It Love: Recovery From Sexual Addiction Paperback – Mar 1 1992
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From Publishers Weekly
In Carnes's diagnosis, sexual addiction is marked by compulsive, self-destructive behavior and takes many forms, such as child abuse, sadomasochism, reliance on erotic fantasy as a coping mechanism, obsession with one individual, anonymous sexual encounters or cycles of disastrous affairs alternating with sexual binging. Behavior therapist Carnes ( Out of the Shadows ) and fellow researchers targeted some 1000 sexual addicts and their "co-dependent" partners through surveys and interviews. Those who suspect that they may be sexually addicted, or know someone who is, should read this clear, helpful, well-organized guide. It shows that sexual compulsives come from all walks of life, and its advice-giving testimonies by recovered and recovering persons, combined with the author's clinical insights, point the way toward healing twisted relationships and reclaiming healthy sexuality.
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
From the Publisher
"Dr. Patrick Carnes is a creative, pioneering, and courageous human being. His books are changing the lives of thousands!"
"I lost three marriages, all because of affairs." "I became suicidal because of multiple intense involvements." "I spent money on sex when I needed it for children's clothes." "I lost promotion opportunities and a special scholarship because my co-workers found out about my sex life." Ever day they face the possibility of destruction, risking their families, fiancés, jobs, dignity, and health. They come from all walks of life: ministers, physicians, therapists, politicians, executives, blue-collar workers. Most were abused as children--sexually, physically or emotionally--and saw addictive behavior in their early lives. Most grapple with other addictions as well, but their fiercest battle is with the most astounding prevalent "secret" disorder in America: sexual addiction. Here is a ground-breaking work by the nation's leading professional expert on sexual addiction, based on the candid testimony of more than one thousand recovering sexual addicts in the first major scientific study of the disorder. This essential volume includes not only the revealing findings of Dr. Carne's research with recovering addicts but also advice from the addicts and co-addicts themselves as they work to overcome their compulsive behavior. Positive, hopeful, and practical, Don't Call It Love is a landmark book that helps us better understand all addictions, their causes, and the difficult path to recovery.
"This clear, helpful, well-organized guide... points the way toward healing twisted relationships and reclaiming healthy sexuality."--Publishers WeeklySee all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
This book documents the results of a study that looked at people who identified themselves as tending to act in a compulsive manner sexually. There is no shame here, no accusations, and no demands, simply concurrent statements of fact. This was Carnes' study and these are the results.
If you've ever wondered, ever even suspected, by the time you finish this book you will know for sure, one way or the other.
I also read "Out of the Shadows," by Carnes. It rang true in the same way, and I've found that many people can finish it in one sitting. "Don't call it love" takes longer, but is much more comprehensive. I strongly reccomend buying both, starting with "Out of the Shadows" and then moving on to this one.
Bottom Line; whether or not you or someone you know struggles with sexually compulsive behavior, what you will learn from this book will help you understand the psycology of addiction and make you a more compassionate human being.
Far and away the best book on the topic I have ever read.
His "Out of the Shadows" is also a very good book on this topic, but in treating the topic of addiction, he stays within the confines of sexual addiction, and so if you are new to learning about addictions, some points may be lost on you. They are both worth getting and reading (I have both), but if you want to buy only one, and are wondering which to get, I recommend this one over OOTS-- but only because it treats both addiction in general as well as what it looks like in the context of sex. Thus I feel this book is more comprehensive.
If you even suspect you may have a sexual compulsion, buy this book and decide about yourself for yourself.
Women, buy it for your husbands, sons, boyfriends, and friends.
John D. Moore
Author of Confusing Love with Obsession
Most recent customer reviews
For our needs it went into far too many types of SA, hard to get through it to get the help we were hopng forPublished on Jan. 11 2013 by Kathy M
Draws on long experience in the field to talk about what works and what doesn't work in treatment of sexual addiction. The case histories are fascinating, and frightening. Read morePublished on Nov. 5 2001 by Karen Ziminski
Drawing on the still small number of admitted sex-addicts with a significant amount of time in recovery, (3-5 years or more), this book looks at the statistical, predictable... Read morePublished on Dec 10 1999 by Mark R. Lohrman
As an addictions counselor, I can testify that this book should be the first stop for anyone wanting to understand more about sexual addiction. See if you fit the pattern. Read morePublished on July 12 1999 by Steven I. Lanzet
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