Dont Let Jerks Get the Best of You: Advice for Dealing with Difficult People Paperback – Feb 28 1995
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About the Author
Paul Meier, M.D. is a psychiatrist and founder of the national chain of Meier Clinics as well as best-selling author or co-author of more than eighty books. He holds five degrees in the fields of medicine, psychiatry, and theology. Happily married, he has six children and two grandchildren.
Top Customer Reviews
Meier also includes lists of characteristics to help you identify First-, Second-, and Nth-Degree Jerks. Some of the characteristics he lists however do not necessarily make someone a jerk. Maybe by Christian standards, but not by most people I know. Meier presents his own Christian beliefs as if they were scientific fact. For instance, enjoying even mildly erotic literature or films is considered a sign of a "Second-Degree Jerk".
Meier also talks about defense mechanisms. One of the defense mechanisms he talks about is what he calls "Phariseeism", which he defines as "Individuals think themselves better than others because of what they do or don't do. They become increasingly self-righteous, and they scrupulously adhere to a list of philosophical or religious rules or some other set of standards, all with the goal of avoiding becoming aware of their own faults, failures, and depravities." It seems to me that Meier has not yet gotten over his own Phraseeism, although he claims he has. At the end of his chapter on defense mechanisms, he describes differences between Freud's and Heinroth's psychiatric theories, asserting that Heinroth got it right, and that Freud was excessively anti-religion and missed the point.Read more ›
The idea for this book is great--dealing with the jerks you come in contact with. But during the reading of the book I discovered two things: first, he is really trying to get at the jerk within YOU (the reader), not in others. That's fine and he certainly convinced me that I'm a jerk at the highest level, but it didn't do much other than make me feel bad that I'm a jerk. It didn't help me much in dealing with others.
Second, he proves himself to be the utmost jerk through his constant claiming that he's NOT a jerk anymore! He gives three "levels" of being a jerk (everyone falls into one of the three categories), and of course he claims that he may have been level two at one point but now he is the lowest-level jerk. He even calls himself a "good guy" who "doesn't mean to do wrong." So when he mistreats his wife or kids or patients, he excuses it away as being meaningless since he doesn't intend on hurting them. Can't he see that INTENT may have nothing to do with it? A person who backs their car into your car may not "mean" to do it, but that is not an excuse! They did wrong, must take personal responsibility for it, learn to drive better, etc. Intent doesn't deal with consequences.
He then goes on to claim he has some "weaknesses"-- such as the fact that he like to pay for others meals or that he likes to spend all the money he makes on others! Wow--what weaknesses!Read more ›
Most recent customer reviews
This was a great book. It really helped me avoid the Jerks and find a true Gem of a guy :)Published 19 months ago by Bina Chauhan
If you're the choir, I don't suppose you'd mind being preached to. But this is not a book for the real world or for real people. Read morePublished on July 11 2004 by C Leahy
I have read several of Dr. Meier's books and this is one of the best. It is an easy read and very funny in the right doses. Read morePublished on June 10 2003 by Gail
The author speaks of "Dopamine Overload" and psychosis that will last forever if not resolved in six months, as well as 'running out of Seratonin'; this led a counselor... Read morePublished on March 9 2000
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