- Hardcover: 272 pages
- Publisher: Tarcher (Feb. 6 2002)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1585420751
- ISBN-13: 978-1585420759
- Product Dimensions: 15.7 x 2.7 x 23.5 cm
- Shipping Weight: 603 g
- Average Customer Review: 28 customer reviews
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #476,427 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Father And Child Reunion Hardcover – Feb 6 2002
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From Library Journal
Like his earlier Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say, Farrell's latest book will evoke strong responses with its polemically argued thesis: that fathers are often missing from the family equation and that this is to the detriment of both children and mothers. His research shows, for instance, that children with involved fathers score better on academic and social competence measures as well as on physical and psychological health tests. Issues like child support, visitation, and the female domination of legal proceedings are critiqued and shown to be frequently unfair to men. Unfortunately, Farrell's intensely pro-male tone pits men against women and obscures otherwise thought-provoking comments. In addition, the style is often overly dramatic, e.g., the author asserts that the denial of father-time is "one of the most documentable forms of child abuse." For a positive, supportive title, try Divorced Dad's Survival Book: How To Stay Connected with Your Kids (Perseus, 2000. reprint). For only the largest public and academic libraries. Douglas C. Lord, Hartford P.L., CT
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
About the Author
Warren Farrell, Ph.D., is the author of Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say and The Myth of Male Power. Dr. Farrell taught at the School of Medicine of the University of California in San Diego, and has taught psychology, sociology, and political science at Georgetown, Rutgers, and Brooklyn College. He is the only man elected three times to the board of N.O.W. in New York City.
Top customer reviews
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Our society expects men to be stoical about these issues, while it is acceptable for women to vent their anger and garner sympathy from peers and family members. I have had to fight the gender bias of the so-called family court system, and the indifference of family members regarding something that can be very frustrating and painful for the non-custodial parent, i.e., fathers.
Although it is considered politically correct to view women as victims in our society, absent and disenfranchised fathers are also victims. Men are more than just paychecks and spermbanks -- they are integral people in their childrens' lives.
But then I did realize that, there is really no way to do the book justice; it is THAT important. Other reviewers can better elaborate the ground covered by the book, but I will say Part I offers a look at the ways society hurts fathers and Part II, the ways in which fathers can be welcomed home again. And welcomed they must be. Somewhere in the book [part I, I believe], there is a story that chills me to this day, about a single mother and her out-of-control teenage daughter.
One day, when the mother tries to feed the daughter, she, the mother, becomes so enraged by the daughter's foul-mouthed belligerence, that the mother slaps her.
Sneering, the daughter calmly picks up the phone, and calls for the authorities, even going so far as to feign terror, pretending the mother is the one out of control. You can imagine for yourself how the rest of the story turns out. The mother knows the daughter can now fake abuse whenever she wants, and the mother considers herself in no position to discipline her child, knowing that in the end it is the child who will suffer [and of course, also anyone unfortunate enough to encounter the daughter].
Little seems to be said about how the daughter was ever allowed to become this bad [a less charitable word might be, I don't know, EVIL!]. Nor does there seem to be much indication of any kind of father, absentee or other wise. If this story doesn't speak volumes about the need for a father in the life of a child, then I don't know what does. Perhaps that is its whole point.
The final coda in the book brings it all together, a touching and warm mantra on behalf of fathers. I wish this review could do justice to the book, but as I said, I don't believe it to be possible.
Dr. Farrell helps us understand why the absentee father has become the norm in our society today. He also shows us the devastating results when fathers are not present to assist in the raising of their children. Finally, he gives us solutions that will work in helping to return fathers to the children who need them.
To be sure, I've worked with a few fathers over the years who are so damaged themselves, they should not be with their children. However, these are the rare exceptions. Many, many more fathers are caring, competent, and compassionate.
If you are a father, a mother, a son, or a daughter, do yourself a favor and buy this book.
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