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Happily Married With Kids: It's Not a Fairy Tale by [Lindquist, Carol Ummel]
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Happily Married With Kids: It's Not a Fairy Tale Kindle Edition

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Length: 259 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Product Description

Product Description

Happily Married With Kids shows what you can do to make your marriage better and grow closer to your spouse after the kids arrive. This book is engaging, fun and practical, and filled with easy-to-follow tips to help you learn how to:
* GROW even closer with your spouse
* LEARN to communicate, even to disagree affectionately
* CREATE warm, loving, reliable support networks
* BALANCE life, love, work and parenting
* REJUVENATE your sex life
* CELEBRATE your marriage as much as your kids

Are you having less sex, less fun and more arguments than you did before kids? The arrival of a newborn puts a tremendous strain on even the best marriages. Happily Married With Kids has steps you can take to work toward a warm, loving relationship with your spouse that will last a lifetime.

About the Author

Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D., has been a therapist for more than 30 years. She is a board-certified clinical psychologist who has published numerous journal articles and a well-received book. A highly ranked professor who has trained many other marital therapists, she and her husband live in Laguna Beach, Calif., where they raised their two sons and she maintains her private practice.

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 1164 KB
  • Print Length: 259 pages
  • Publisher: Granny Apple Publishing LLC; 2 edition (May 18 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B005BJ396M
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #195,468 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) HASH(0xa152fd68) out of 5 stars 14 reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f78196c) out of 5 stars Great book! Nov. 29 2011
By Emily Martinez - Published on
Format: Paperback
While reading the book I was blown away by all the "ah-ha" moments I had. I kept talking to myself saying "wow, had I known that at the time I totally would have worded things so differently", instead of saying "take out the damn trash", "Why do you leave it on the flipping porch every damn morning" or "would it hurt you to change a flipping diaper once in a while" it would have been better accepted had I just asked Franc in a nice non-nagging way to "please take the trash out when you leave for work" or "can you help me by changing D's diaper". Carol talks a lot about how we as couples speak to our significant other in ways that we would never imagine talking to a friend or stranger. I think she makes an excellent point. I would never yell at a stranger that he's an incompetent trash remover (and that's toned down for my blog:), and I doubt Franc would tell his boss that he can't believe he's been in the office for x amount of time and hasn't done nothing to show for it. In the beginning we struggled a lot because I was not a stay at home mom. I worked and went to school. He worked long hours and did not understand that I was carrying a double load with work, school, and taking care of a new child plus dealing with jealousy issues with our oldest. It would have been nice to have a book like this then. Let's face it. When there's a new child involved we say things to our loved ones that we don't mean. Those little spur of the moment fits have real impact but not in a good way.

In Happily Married With Kids, Carol goes through many techniques for real marriages. There are the 5 stages of marriage, normal marriages-real problems, discussion on vacations and how to develop a plan with or without baby in tow. I really enjoyed the section on Living Together Happily During Tough Economic Times. Since we're living in a country that is experiencing a drastic shift in our economy, and many couples are really struggling to pay the bills and find time for them, I think this chapter is priceless. Another section that I found helpful is Recognizing Helpful Conversation, this chapter talks about how to change the way you talk to your spouse so you're on equal playing ground. A spouse will respond much differently when you leave the accusations out of it and focus on what you really want to say without the negativity.

Overall the book is great and I would definitely recommend it to new parents. My children are 9 & 12 but I still found spots in the book that were helpful to me. I did feel the book was written for new and existing parents with children under school age though. Carol does not talk about children and school issues which is a factor in marriages with school age children. I like how Carol discusses things that the couple can do for free, but I did feel that the author focused on middle class families a lot. She talks about hiring a maid to take pressure off of the family a lot. Families of low SES (social economic status) cannot hire a maid nor can they afford a counselor. It is true that a maid is cheaper than a counselor but neither is attainable in a SES family. They likely can check out books at the library or perhaps purchase a self help book. There is a lot of good information in Happily Married With Kids though, and even if you are not in a position to hire a counselor a self help book can help.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f7819c0) out of 5 stars Marriages Need Communication! Sept. 7 2011
By Elizabeth S. - Published on
Format: Paperback
So many couples experience culture shock once their children are born. Their lives turn upside down. Wives find that they do most of the diaper changes, feedings, and regular chores around the house. This leaves them to feel unappreciated and overworked. They wait until the last minute to ask for help from their husbands, usually leading them to yell in frustration. Husbands may feel inadequate in helping with the child, so they focus on what they can do best, working. They stress over whether they are providing enough monetarily, not realizing they need to provide emotionally as well. Neither of them are mind readers! Without proper communication, most marriages head toward demise.

Dr. Carol Lindquist, a therapist with thirty years of experience, strives to bridge the gaps between the husband and wife. Her book, Happily Married With Kids: It's Not a Fairy Tale gives couples the help they need. She guides couples to talk to each other, learn from each other, and keep their intimacy going in order to help their marriages grow.

She brings awareness that while having children is a blessing, it can also be taxing on the marriage. This is not the child's fault but rather how the adults handle the situations. Do they handle them together or do they try to do them alone without working as a team? To make a marriage work, communication needs to be open, listening needs to be instilled, and appreciation for each other should be an every day occurrence.

If your marriage on the outside seems perfect, but inside you know it needs help, don't shy away from asking for it. If you wait too long, it may be too late.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f781df8) out of 5 stars A great read for couples with Children Nov. 11 2011
By Megan Steele - Published on
Format: Paperback
When I was 17 I met the man I have been married to for the last 8 years. Yes this means that I married young, and with that also comes having children young, I though at least we will still be young enough to do things when the kids, grow up. Those were thoughts of a naive me. After 10 years together, and 3 children we were in the same place as many of my friends without realizing it. We were not making the time for each other and this would lead to one or the other feeling ignored. I wanted to be a great mom to my kids and make sure they knew I would always be there, but I forgot about my partner in all of it, and one day I realized we were doomed once the kids moved out, because we had become so much about the kids, and so little about each other.

I was so glad to have the chance to review Happily Married With Kids It's not a fairy Tale, because now I feel like we really have a connection. I don't feel were doomed to have nothing to talk about and will just grow apart. I can say I am a happily married women and more in love with my husband then I was before. Our relationship has improved because of what I learned in this book.

Would I buy this book? yes
Would I recommend this book to any couple with children? Yes it is a great read. Overall I am so glad to have read this book and will be telling all my friends.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f46d1d4) out of 5 stars Great Book! June 9 2011
By Adam - Published on
Format: Paperback
I am a mother of two and having children has certainly changed my relationship with my husband. There are so many things my husband and I are working on to help create a stronger marriage, and this book has been so helpful for us.

We started reading this book together in any few moments of quiet we could find. It became a pretty special time for us, as we focused on our relationship, instead of work or the children. That may sound like the most boring way to spend a few quiet moments together, but it was quite fun! Each chapter has good tips, checklists and how-to's, and it generated a lot of good discussion between us. There were also several funny cartoons tucked in the chapters to lighten things up.

I personally learned a lot from this book that I had never thought of before. For instance, she talks about the Five Stages that couples go through including: Bliss, Discovery of Differences, Separate Identities, Friends Again, and Bonded. Don't think that you are just stuck in a rough marriage or that you are not meant to be together because your marriage is tough. A little work every day can go a long way!

I would absolutely recommend this book to all parents, especially if you just had a baby. No matter how many years you have been married, I think this book would be very helpful to all!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f46d2b8) out of 5 stars Excellent Advice for New Parents Aug. 9 2011
By Sherry Ellis - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Having a first child means big changes in a marriage. Many couples have ideas that a child is going to bring them closer together. The reality however, may be much different. In Happily Married With Kids, author Carol Ummel Lindquist, takes a candid look at some of the issues couples may face as they grow together as a family.

Topics discussed include dealing with sleep deprivation and new baby demands, sharing the work load of parenting and household chores, dealing with anger, setting goals, family vacations, holidays, and even surviving an affair. Dr. Lindquist provides bullet points of advice for dealing with each issue. Her advice on how to communicate respectfully is excellent and can be applied to any relationship.

Happily Married With Kids is a the perfect combination of advice and humor that will help couples navigate the ups and downs of parenthood while maintaining a loving relationship. I highly recommend it.