How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack: Defend Yourself When the Lawn Warriors Strike (And They Will) Hardcover – Sep 7 2010
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“Just AWESOME...filled with delightfully demonic photographs of rampaging, blissful garden gnomes. This is a classic ‘gift’ book (just in time for Christmas) with eye candy pictures galore.”
—This Garden Is Illegal blog, 9/29/10
“reminiscent of a ‘Monty Python’s Flying Circus’ sketch, which is the highest praise I can bestow on a humor book.”
—Carpe Geum blog, 9/26/10
“The book is written so straightforward that it seems believeable. And helpful. And—well, words fail me...the book is a hoot...[it] is perfect to display on a coffee table. Think of the fun you'll have when your guests notice it. Will they look around to see if diminutive creatures are sneaking up on them? Will they look at you as if you're totally nuts. At any rate, fun will ensue...The book would also make a great gift for a gardening enthusiast—especially if the gardener already has some garden gnomes. Or bundle the book with a garden gnome and let the recipient really wonder about you.”
—Peevish Pen blog, 9/23/10
"Let’s say your smiling lawn gnomes are plotting a home invasion. Here’s the definitive guide to 'prevent, prepare for and ward off' that attack."
"This breezy read and its charming photos are ideal for anyone who melts whenever they find a new version of that classic ceramic yard ornament, the gnome."
"Hooray to Chuck Sambuchino for not breaking character once during his entire book … including the Acknowledgements page. This book is for those special folks with quirky senses of humor."
—San Francisco Book Review
"Every gardener and most non-gardeners will love this stylish, hilarious book."
—Buffalo Spree Magazine
“You’ll laugh. You’ll question the sanity of the message. You will look with new eyes on that garden gnome you thought was a mere, sweet little elfin garden ornament. I found myself wondering as I finished this marvelous small book; when will How to Survive a Pink Flamingo Attack, be released? I highly recommend this book to gnome lovers/owners everywhere. Even if you are not a gnome owner, but a gardener or have a neighbor who gardens—you need to read this book for your own protection or for a laugh a minute if you prefer humor.”
—Billie A Williams, award-winning mystery and suspense author
About the Author
Chuck Sambuchino (@chucksambuchino) of Writer's Digest Books edits the GUIDE TO LITERARY AGENTS and the CHILDREN'S WRITER'S & ILLUSTRATOR'S MARKET. His Guide to Literary Agents Blog is one of the largest blogs in publishing. His 2010 humor book, HOW TO SURVIVE A GARDEN GNOME ATTACK, was optioned by Sony Pictures. His latest humor book, WHEN CLOWNS ATTACK: A SURVIVAL GUIDE (Sept. 29, 2015), will protect people everywhere from malicious bozos and jokers who haunt our lives. His books have been mentioned in Reader’s Digest, USA Today, the New York Times, The Huffington Post, Variety, New York Magazine, and more.See all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
I'm a man. That means I'm born with ninety gigabites of information, theory, philosophy and finger painting .pdf files about how to survive a zombie apocalypse. It's in the DNA, I can't help it. Ladies, try this. Start a discussion about zombies with men around you and they will obey to a primordial instinct and form a circle around you to debate the best practices in dispatching the undead. Therefore, reading tomes like The Zombie Survival Guide is useless to males, because we're ready. Zombies are a long shot though. Are there more pressing threats? Of course there are. Chuck Sambuchino informs us about the closest, most imminent threat to mankind survival: Garden Gnomes.
In his 106 pages tome of his, Sambuchino awakens men's intellect to the dangers of lawn ornaments. Using a simple Assess, Protect, Defend & Apply strategy model, he guides us, the reader, to build a proper defense system for our home. Thorough, Sambuchino covers the whole field of home protection. From assessing the distant threats of neighbors gnomes to one-on-one combat methods. My favorite part was "Protect" where he exposes an array of methods you can use to booby trap your yard against the twelve inch menace. The small and practical survival guide is also full of visual evidence of gnome life around the household. You will know what to watch for when it's your turn to repel the merry danger.
I had worries when I started reading this book. I thought the subject might have been a little slim and that the 106 pages format was too thin also. I was scared that it would be stretched out or crammed and overloaded. Sambuchino dutifully tiptoed around those issues, using method and structure.Read more ›
This book is great for amateur gnome hunters of all ages. Of course the book is only about how to defend yourself in the event of a gnome attack, if you want to actually get out there and hunt the little devils, I would recommend doing a bit more research. But don’t get me wrong, this book is still a great foundation!
Thank you Chuck Sambuchino for helping out the gnome hunting community! Hunting these creatures can often put you or your families at risk of being attacked and this is an excellent way to be ready for that situation.
Most recent customer reviews
Fast shipping, the book is in a perfect shape. I'm very glad about this purchase. I recommand without hesitation. Thank you so much.Published on Nov. 13 2013 by Mélanie Forget
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