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How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk Paperback – Oct 6 1999

4.5 out of 5 stars 124 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Perennial; REV edition (Oct. 6 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0380811960
  • ISBN-13: 978-0380811960
  • Product Dimensions: 20.6 x 13.8 x 1.9 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 249 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars 124 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #25,929 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

Review

"An exceptional work, not simply just another 'how to' bookAll parents can use these methods to improve the everyday quality of their relationships with their children." -- Fort Worth Star Telegram

"Faber and Mazlish are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation." -- Parent Magazine

"Practical, sensible, lucid the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery." -- Family Journal

"Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world." -- Christian Science Monitor

About the Author

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish are internationally acclaimed, award-winning experts on adult-child communication. Both lecture nationwide, and their group workshop programs are used by thousands of groups throughout the world to improve communication between children and adults.

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
My mother-in-law, who is a child psychologist, introduced me to this book. She's been using it for years in her practice. I have been irritated by other books that seem to talk exclusively about how to help children while ignoring parents' needs. This book has great real-life examples and doesn't come down on stressed out parents for getting angry or saying dumb things. Instead, it gives practical exercises and rules for helping your relationship. Some of them are hard to do. Habits are hard to change. But it has made a world of difference between me and my 3-year-old. I'm so glad to have read this book so early in her life. I think it will spare us some of the heartache my mother and I experienced, mostly due to poor communication skills.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A must read for any parent! This book offers practical advice on how to talk to your kids right from toddler to teen. Description of techniques is backed up with easy to understand and practical real life examples...and they work! This book should be in every parent's library and referenced often.
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Format: Paperback
My in-depth study on the psychology of childrens' minds reveal the facts that their attitudes are solely dependent on their circumstances and their upbringing levels at home & school. It's one thing sure any kid require is 'Love, patience & Self Esteem.' Communication is proven skill. Talking n Listening to kids simply doesn't mean communication but Understanding with luv and patience is the key to successful parenting. This book by How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish has even been adopted by many parents in their day to day upbringing of kids. Parenting is made less stressful by the authors as the book deals with coping with parental frustrations and negative attitudes of kids. The child would not develop warm relationship due to damaged sense of self. The need for positive self regard is obvious in the illustrated book. The higher children's self esteem, the more secure, decisive, friendly, trusting, cheerful, optimistic and purposeful they are. Child's willingful cooperation, setting limits, alternate punishments are all the points covered up so effectively that parenting becomes more a joy to bring up kids. The book is a use alone or workshops/parental groups as its excellent exercises will improve ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. Afterall, children need continuity of guidance and when they learn the consequences of their acts, it teaches them to be responsible for what they do. A great reference book for parents on their shelves - bedroom or kitchen, whatever be!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is definitely a book you want to read prior to having trouble. I identified many, many things that I was doing and saying that would have negative implications later. For example, my loving nicknames (stinky feet, shorty) can quickly turn into "it's okay to call people names" in his little brain. Add five or 6 years and you have me pulling out my hair wondering why on earth my sweet little boy is a name caller and a bully. Oh wait. I taught him that.

Many things are obvious to you when you read it, but if you are like me, you need them pointed out to you.

Read this when your kids are 2 or 3. So you have time to practice before they start understanding EVERYTHING you say.
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Format: Paperback
As a parent of 3 toddlers, I've read lots and this is by far the most useful, intelligent and common sense approach to communicating with anyone. If you read one book on parenting, this is it. It changed our lives. By practicing the concepts in this book, you will raise children that are self confident, curious and not afraid to communicate their feelings. Childrend want to tell you how they feel, the trick is learning how to respond. Now, of course, I watch our friends make far-reaching mistakes with their kids...but that's another book!
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Format: Paperback
Although this best selling book was originally written more than 20 years ago, I find the advice and specific suggestions extremely on target in 2004. The main strategy that has made such a positive difference in my life is to acknowlege my child's feelings before I give the direction for compliance. Most of the time, I do try to give well-meaning, honest (not always calm) responses to my 3-year-old that unfortunately sometimes escalate into a raging tantrum or no win power struggle such as in the following example at bedtime...My son announced, "I'm really scared of the big closet monster, Mommy." I responded honestly, "There's nothing to be scared about, there is no such thing as a real monster. Monsters are just make believe."...This conversation was followed by a long screamimg and kicking fit from a very tired, frustrated little boy.
Now I have learned that by calmly talking to my son's feelings first, he knows that his point of view is understood and important to me. Then I have a better chance of getting him to stay in his bed. Because I chose to validate his feelings first, I got the cooperation I was after. I learned to say, "I see how worried you are...I've got a great idea...I'm getting the broom out to sweep the entire floor including every corner of your closet to make sure nothing is hiding in there...OK, it's completely empty, honey...only clothes in here. Hop in bed and I'll rub you back before our special good night kiss." ...It worked like a charm!
I also highly recommend another newer pocket-sized book to accompany this classic tome called "The Pocket Parent.
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