Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter [Blu-ray]
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Top Customer Reviews
What fool would ask Jesus if He had enough lemonade? I mean c'mon how could lemonade be harder than loaves and fishes. Well the doubter gets killed pretty early in the movie. It's too bad, I think they should have expanded on a priest with a mohawk. The custom helmet they had for him was supercool.
Mary Magna is bad to the bone folks. She gets sucked into a vampire's world, but the Lord not only gets her back, he gives her the main vampire after he cures her too. You see the whole point of this film is the church must protect lesbians from vampires. Yeah I know, I know. Hey this flick's from Canada.
The scene that left me screaming 'Amen' and 'Allelujia' was the fight scene with the athiests. I mean dude, Jesus beats up like 60 athiests without a break. They just keep coming out of this one car.
Jesus finally defeats the vampires when He himself is stabbed through the heart in the climatic junkyard battle. But with Him being punctured, Heaven's light shines through him and the vampires are vanquished. Outstanding special effects on this one. A flashlight and flash powder really did the trick.
Also look for the fine performance by Blind Leper. He's a blues man who gives it up for the Lord in the House of Blues.
I give this film 5 halos.
A strange plague has overridden the city of Ottawa. Daylight-walking vampires have invaded the city, slaying many and causing a shortage of lesbians (don't ask...). Two priests then call to the chosen one, Jesus H himself, to restore order to the once peaceful Canadian capital. Jesus, using his magic powers of Kung-Fu, does the best he can but soon finds himself way outnumbered against the hordes of the undead. Down in the dumps, Jesus calls Mexican wrestler El Santos to the rescue. Together, Jesus Christ and El Santos form a Tag Team to rid the city of the undead.
The first thing one notices right away is how much fun everyone seems to be having making this movie. The film is filled with awkward acting and dialogue but the exuberance and joy of the people involved more than make up for that. It really looks like a film made by a bunch of friends with too much time on their hands. Most of the actors in this are either punk rockers (the people on Jesus' side) or Goths (the vampires). One of the priests who calls for Jesus' help has a red-couloured Mohawk and a leather jacket filled with spikes just to give you an idea. This film is somewhat of a musical but not the whole way through; it switches styles every 20 minutes or so.Read more ›
Most recent customer reviews
Maria Moulton is the true star of this campy cult classic. Get this DVD, grab your friends, grab some beer and settle in for a good laugh. 15 stars! Go Mary Magnum!!!!!!Published on Sept. 12 2004
What is wrong with you guys? 5 starts? I should be 12, one for every province in the best country in the world...Canada! Read morePublished on March 15 2004 by El Santos
I really wish Amazon had a way to give two ratings to the same item. The one-star rating above is for the movie. Read morePublished on March 15 2004 by Matthew D. Hall
I saw the title and thought boy this movie is gunna suck. It does! That's why it's so freakin awesome! Read morePublished on Dec 27 2003 by Rastaman
When you hear the title, Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter, you think Jesus Christ, in full linens, Hunting Vampires. Instead of this, I watched 90 minutes of pure crap! Read morePublished on Oct. 21 2003 by Toni E. Smith
For the love of mike, avoid this movie! I purchased it based on the review and in the belief that eveything is either funny/dumb, or dumb/funny. this movie was just BAD. Read morePublished on Oct. 20 2003 by Amazon Customer