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The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life Paperback – Mar 1 2000

4.6 out of 5 stars 17 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Berkley; 1 edition (March 1 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0425172287
  • ISBN-13: 978-0425172285
  • Product Dimensions: 20.8 x 13.2 x 2.4 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 358 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars 17 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #107,725 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

About the Author

Susan Anderson, CSW, is a psychotherapist who has specialized in helping clients deal with heartbreak, loss and abandonment for more than 25 years. She has led workshops on abandonment recovery, conducts seminars and lectures, and has appeared on radio and television speaking on the related issues of addiction, parenting and abandonment.


Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I bought this book after reading about it a few times on the web expecting a typical self help relationship book, I was really suprised by what I found. This book is an extrememly helpful guide not only for navigating the waters of a break up, but most i9mportantly using the break up to enhance you life and to come out of it more grown. I can't recommend this book enough for those that are willing to put in the work that this book asks. But that is the clincher of the process that this book presents, it is work. This book doesn't offer a quick fix or a band-aid for the pain of abandonment. It does offer something infinitely more important-a vessel in which to really find yourself, and resucue yourself from the distress and abandonment that we all have within ourselves.
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Format: Paperback
Dr. Susan Anderson has masterfully articulated the experience of abandonment as only a survivor of abandonment could know. She is a survivor herself. Her book, The Journey From Abandonment To Healing, keeps a gentle, respectful tone towards the survivor, and is easy to understand throughout.
This book clearly articulates what I struggled to put into words about the abandonment symptoms I was experiencing. Abandonment is defined as an involuntary separation. Some symptoms include loss of control of the situation, separation anxiety and yearning for the lost love, hoping for the possibility of the lost love's return and the desparation caused by this desire.
The book also covers in great detail the physiology behind emotional withdrawal symptoms of abandonment, including the loss of opioids (hormones) which is similar to heroin withdrawal; the significance of extreme changes in appetite patterns; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder; memory loss; the desire to self-medicate to endure the loss; and how society acknowledges those grieving over a death but not over a lost love.
Finally, Dr. Anderson gives some effective exercises in overcoming the crippling symptoms of abandonment. The exercises are not "pat" answers as found in some mainstream books and magazines. These are extensive, healing exercises requiring vulnerable, self-introspection.
I hope this helps someone else out there, too. It sure saved my sanity and all for the modest price of a book -- not an expensive block of therapy sessions!
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Format: Paperback
This is a well researched book about how experiences from infancy through childhood are manifested in the brain and affect us as adults. Susan discusses 5 stages in the recovery of abandonment which I can identify with. Her advice in dealing with abandonment is exactly what I have concluded through my own experiences. It's nice to read a book that I can connect to so well. Having read this book, I can better understand the trauma I experienced as a child. It also gives me more hope that someday I will overcome the trauma that I've felt and be able to have meaningful relationships without fearing abandonment. It's an easy book to read and doesn't necessarily make you feel bad by bringing up bad feelings. It simply tries to address the issues surrounding abandonment and cites examples of people and their experiences in this context.
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Format: Paperback
This book completely normalizes the thoughts and feelings you have after you have been broken up with and you are totally heart broken. During such a painful process it's important to know what you are feeling is normal in such a situation. I found it prevented me from destroying myself with thoughts like ["It's all my fault", "I should have done more" and "I'm unlovable"]. Although I allowed myself to feel and think what I was I knew that it was a normal reaction and it got me through. I didn't do the exercises but just reading what she had to say was enough for me!
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Format: Paperback
Susan is an abandonment "survivor" as well as a therapist her insights are key to the success of this book. The message is clear, and the excersies helpful. The reader reachs a fullness and happiness within their lives by reaching out to the key player, themselves.
I have read many books over the last year to heal my emotional wounds. This book picks up where all the others left off. The material is helpful, eye opening and the awareness level of the reader is blown wide open.
My reaction was "WOW!" she is speaking to me.
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Format: Paperback
This is the first review I have written on Amazon.com, and I am writing it because I want to urge anyone profoundly heartbroken, devastated, and utterly unsure of how to survive, READ THIS BOOK. There are numerous breakup recovery books out there -- I've read scores of them -- but this is the first one I have found that is actually addressing _profound_ heartbreak, the kind of devastation that is simply not amenable to logic, conscious affirmations, and rational decisions to cope.
If you've tried bravery, common-sense, and straight-out endurance, try reading this book instead - because incredibly, Susan Anderson managed to not only help you understand what you're going through -- she also comes up with five amazingly original exercises that can actually HELP you endure the unendurable. I know. I've been using them. I cannot say enough about this book.
Anderson doesn't ever water down the agony -- twenty-five years of work with heartbroken patients has made her very aware of the intricacies of abandonment grief. But despite this realistic knowledge of the pain, she offers hope -- not the glib, "You'll recover eventually!" hope of most breakup-recovery books, but a nuanced, particular hope specific to each grief stage, and always attentive to the suffering you are undergoing at each moment. An incredible, generous and loving book.
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