Kosher Adultery Hardcover – Sep 2002
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About the Author
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, author of the international bestsellers Kosher Sex and Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments, is host of "Dear Shmuley," a nationally syndicated daily radio show on the Talk America Radio Network. For eleven years, he served as Rabbi to the students of Oxford University, where he founded the LChaim Society, which became the second largest student organization in Oxfords history. His book Why Cant I Fall in Love was a finalist for the Books for a Better Life Award, and his latest work, Judaism for Everyone, was published to critical acclaim. A winner of the highly prestigious London Times Preacher of the Year Award, Rabbi Shmuley has debated human relationship issues with such figures as Larry Flynt, Helen Gurley Brown, Elizabeth Wurtzel, the Rules Girls, Deepak Chopra, and Jerry Falwell. Rabbi Shmuley lives in New Jersey with his Australian wife Debbie and their seven young children.
Top Customer Reviews
This book accompanied my husband and I on a weekend away, and the concepts within it changed the way we saw intimacy and our relationship with one another. While I am not Jewish and didn't agree with all of the Rabbi's assertions, I agree with the reviewer who said the fundimental truths the book conveyed were what were so key. Rabbi Boteach's words were like soothing balm in so many ways.
As a society we pay lip service to marriage. We say it's our number one relationship, yet we are unwilling to trade the pace of our lives for investing in each other. We put everything first: jobs, children etc. We give our mates the leftovers. Is it any wonder marriages are suffering from staleness and boredom? Is it any wonder that people feel neglected and dispassionate? Is it any wonder half the people at the altar who promise to love, honour and cherish are in divorce court a few years later?
This book was a gift to us as a couple. If you want mere companionship, get a roomate or a dog. Marriage and lust for your spouse must be deliberately re-claimed and purposefully nourished. And Rabbi Boteach's book is an amazing foundation for discussion.
Best book I have read on marriage-preservation, hands down.
Like David Schnarch's "Passionate Marriage," this book should be required reading before anyone "ties the knot of Holy Vows."
What this book is *not* is an invitation to open marriage, or adultery per se:
"Adultery serves a double wrong; first, because it betrays a marriage and causes terrible pain to one's spouse; and second, because it robs a marriage of the input it needs to survive and prosper. On a more individual level, adultery erodes, if not utterly destroys, the faith and trust that one partner has in the other. Worse, it causes an almost incurable feeling of inadequacy that the partner who has been cheated on cannot shake.... What is particularly unjust about this... is that it is the *victim* who feels responsible."
What Rabbi Boteach advocates is harnessing the inevitable, blind, biological tendency to adultery to supercharge and strengthen traditional, monogamous marriage:
*Husbands could never afford to become complacent because they were married to voracious sexual seductresses that constantly need to be re-seduced.
*Wives became the living embodiment of a man's sexual fantasies -- a woman with an insatiable appetite who would do anything for sex.
If this were to occur, would men still need to turn to manufactured porn entertainment when the real thing is in their bedrooms? Would it not lead us to be constantly attracted to our partners?"
Boteach conveys an immense amount of originality in his discussion of what makes marriage work and, conversely, what wrecks it.Read more ›
binding abstract, artificial "morals" which both fail miserably to meet true
spiritual intent and fly in the face of human nature. Although Boteach has
his own personal slant on certain points, as any individual or couple will, the
important thing is that Boteach's book represents a ground breaking concept,
badly needed and long over due. It's a realistic, fundamental glimpse at
wisdom that likely could have prevented wars over time, were we all capable of
grasping it, starting with the battle over Helen at Troy. His thoughts put one
in mind also of that someone who pointed out the hypocrisies of the Pharisees
("... burdens to heavy to bare, etc."). The concepts introduced in the book can
constitute a monumental investment in realistically and naturally maintaining
passion in thinking people's relationships, as supplemented by additional,
objective research in sexuality and relationships. I know I'll send copies and
recommend this book over and over again. This topic could also use even more
focus and follow up.
Most recent customer reviews
I've been married just over 7 years, and things have been getting... stale. Nothing ACTIVELY wrong, but nothing terribly right either. Read morePublished on Jan. 2 2003
The core premise of this book is that marriages based on love and respect are doomed to failure because these overrated virtues only lead to boredom. Read morePublished on Oct. 1 2002 by Kate McMurry
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