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Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life Hardcover – Oct 7 2014

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press (Oct. 7 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1422189414
  • ISBN-13: 978-1422189412
  • Product Dimensions: 1.9 x 14.6 x 23.5 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 408 g
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #116,195 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Review

Included in Forbes “Eight Noteworthy Books of 2014” list.

“One of the Best Leadership Books of the Year” — Inc.

“Friedman sets out tests and suggestions for developing skills for integrating work and the rest of life…the message…is worth exploring." — Financial Times

“In 2008, I chose Stewart Friedman’s Total Leadership as the top book in the Personal Development category of our annual business book awards… Friedman [now] builds on his previous work by presenting the stories of six well-known personalities who exemplify the well-integrated life… Then, in the second half of the book, which acts as a workbook complete with exercises, uses their successes and struggles, as points of reference as he teaches us how to develop the necessary skills.” — Jack Covert, 800 CEO READ

“Friedman’s accessible book is a significant entry in the work/life balance category.” — Publishers Weekly

“Recommended Reading for Creative Leaders" — FORBES.com

“In his new book Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life, [Friedman] explores the idea that truly winning people over “starts with knowing what you care about, and then being able to express that in ways other people can relate to…’” — Laura Vanderkam, Fast Company

“Friedman gives you tools to help you craft your own approach… a great starting point to learn about leading the life you want.” — Stephanie Denning, FORBES

“In Leading the Life You Want, Stewart Friedman masterfully weaves together six life narratives to show exactly how any of us can live a more richly integrated, meaningful and satisfying life with others.” — Kare Anderson, The Huffington Post

“In his newest book, Leading the Life You Want, Friedman explores the skills you need to be a leader, how to develop them, and how to devote your life to your work without losing everything that's important to you.” — Will Yakowicz, Inc.

"According to this Wharton processor, the 'work/life balance' model is unrealistic. Rather than the two jostling for primacy, he advocates integrating work, home, community and private self." — Qantas - The Australia Way

"[Friedman's] conceptual framework provides a useful way of looking at the work-life issue. It holds out the hope that we don't have to make trade-offs between different parts of our lives; we can combine them." — Coaching Today (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy)

“It seems that everyone has an opinion on work/life balance these days, but Stewart D. Friedman’s Leading the Life You Want isn’t necessarily one of them. Well, it is, but it’s also a lot more.” — Consulting Magazine

“In Leading the Life You Want, [Friedman] profiles top leaders—from Sheryl Sandberg to Michelle Obama, and Bruce Springsteen to former Bain & Co. CEO Tom Tierney—and tells their stories, explaining how their choices enable them to thrive in multiple realms of their lives.” — Dorie Clark, Forbes

“Wharton professor Friedman, building on his excellent study, Total Leadership, uses examples ranging from Sheryl Sandberg to Bruce Springsteen to move from familiar calls to balance competing work and life commitments toward taking steps, instead, to integrate our passions and values across the domains of work, home, community, and the private self." — David Slocum, Berlin School of Creative Leadership

Leading the Life You Want is an action-oriented book...Whether or not you are a Springsteen fan…the way it’s written makes it a good resource that you can turn to time and again for inspiration when you find yourself stuck. Whatever your profession may be, keep a copy of Leading the Life You Want on your office desk or your bedside table." — Legends of Springsteen (legendsofspringsteen.com)

“Stewart Friedman… says the whole work-life balance goal is faulty anyway. He cites Sandberg and Springsteen as great examples of people who have integrated their careers and lives in a way that complements both.” — Teresa Novellino, Upstart Business Journal

“… leadership work-life integration is a universal question. It is a universal challenge. Perhaps it is a universal opportunity. That is not just in the realm of business or just in the realm of a certain kind of a person, and I think these stories really bring that to life.” — Jeffrey Klein, Executive Director of the Wharton Leadership Program

“We can integrate our work and our lives. Friedman offers strategies to achieve what he calls “four-way wins” in four domains… A self-assessment identifies which areas need attention and the book offers practices for each.” — HR Professional

ADVANCE PRAISE for Leading the Life You Want:

Melinda Gates, Co-chair, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation—
Leading the Life You Want illustrates through compelling biographies the skills you need to…lead a life that truly blends meaning and happiness.”

Tom Gardner, CEO, The Motley Fool—
“A much needed surge of inspiration.”

Billie Jean King, sports icon and social justice pioneer—
“Stew Friedman shows how to harness your passions to pursue four-way wins—in your work, home, community, and most importantly, for yourself.”

Neil Blumenthal, Co-founder and Co-CEO, Warby Parker—
“Stew Friedman makes the idea of finding harmony between work and life not only possible, but practicable. A brainy yet conversational guide that offers inspired, effective solutions.”

Herminia Ibarra, Professor, INSEAD; author, Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader
“Absolutely wonderful. Read it, and you will be inspired to live and work like never before.”

David Allen, author of the international bestseller, Getting Things Done
“This is a great manifesto for getting it done. Bravo!”

Anne-Marie Slaughter, President and CEO, New America Foundation—
“Stew Friedman stands out as one of the few male voices in the field. He understands better than anyone else how leadership, life, and business can fit together.”

About the Author

Since 1984 Stew Friedman has been teaching at Wharton, where he is the Practice Professor of Management. In 1991 he founded both the Wharton Leadership Program-initiating the required MBA and Undergraduate leadership courses-and the Wharton Work/Life Integration Project. Stew served in the mental health field before earning his PhD in organizational psychology from the University of Michigan. In 2001 he concluded a two-year assignment (while on leave from Wharton) at Ford, as the senior executive for leadership development. Stew is the author of Baby Bust: New Choices for Men and Women in Work and Family (Wharton Digital, 2008) and Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life (Harvard Business Review Press, 2014). The Total Leadership program is used worldwide, including by the 57,000+ students in Stew's recent Coursera MOOC. He advises many organizations, gives high-energy keynotes, and is an award-winning teacher. The New York Times cited the "rock star adoration" he inspires in students. He was chosen by Working Mother as one of America's twenty-five most influential men to have made things better for working parents, and by Thinkers50 as one of the "world's top fifty business thinkers." The Families and Work Institute honored him with a Work Life Legacy Award. Follow him on Twitter @StewFriedman and tune in to his show, Work and Life, on Sirius XM 111, Business Radio Powered by the Wharton School, Tuesdays at 7:00 p.m. (EST).


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Format: Kindle Edition
As I began to read this book, I was again reminded of the issues that are raised in two other quite different books: Randy Pausch's The Last Lecture and Clayton Christensen's How Will You Measure Your Life?, written in collaboration with James Allworth and Karen Dillon They are indeed quite different in most respects from Stewart Friedman's latest book but, in my opinion, all three focus on these basic questions: What does it mean to be a human being? How can I become the very best person I can be? and How can I be of greatest service to others while remaining true to myself? The last question is much trickier than it may seem. In his classic work, Denial of Death, Ernest Becker acknowledges that everyone dies eventually. Physical death is inevitable. However, there is another form of death that can be denied: That which occurs when we become wholly preoccupied with fulfilling others' expectations of us.

What we have in this volume is Friedman's thoughtful and thought-provoking examination of six quite different people who mastered skills that enabled them to integrate work and life. Opinions are divided -- sometimes sharply divided -- as to whether or not it is possible to balance both. I have and I think almost anyone else can if (HUGE "if") they are willing and able to adjust proportions of resources (especially time, attention, and energy) to the needs of the given moment, and, if they master most (if not all) of the skills discussed in this volume. The demands and obligations at work are not constant nor are the demands and constants in one's life away from work. Hence the importance of setting priorities or accepting reasonable priorities set by others. Great jugglers will tell you that the secret is in the toss. That is especially true of juggling priorities.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x9f567eb8) out of 5 stars 38 reviews
15 of 17 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f57ea50) out of 5 stars Want to Live a More Meaningful Life With Others? Oct. 10 2014
By Kare Anderson - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Frankly I found the exquisite mix of stories, lessons and suggested exercistes stunning and with such depth t hat I have a much underlined book now. Friedman shows how striving for work/life balance often leads to more stress, Instead, he offers an approach in which you can see how to make each part of your life add richness, meaning and even sometimes productivity to the other parts. He suggests that, “If you reduce psychological interference, you increase your ability to focus on what matters when it matters, and you minimize the destructive impact conflicts can cause between, for instance, work and family.”
A key to reducing that cognitive dissonance, according to Friedman, is to “know what matters (being real), help others (being whole) and challenges the status quo (being innovative).

In Leading the Life You Want, Friedman shares practical life-integrating exercises to hone your skills for being real, whole and innovative.

With each engrossing narrative, Friedman weaves in universal lessons from these remarkable individuals, Julie Foudy, Bruce Springsteen, Tom Tierney, Michelle Obama, Sheryl Sandberg, and Eric Greitens.

Some of my favorite lessons include those described in these sections:
Be Real: Act with authenticity, align actions with values, be your values everywhere.

Be Whole: Clarify expectations, manage boundaries intelligently, act with integrity, help others.
Be Innovative: Challenge the status quo, embrace change courageously, act with creativity.

Ultimately you may find your life has what From Smart to wise co-authors, Prasad Kaipa and Navi Radjou, calls a noble purpose and become what Serve to Lead author James Strock dubs a servant leader.

How gratifying to see this popular Wharton professor’s longtime research, teaching and writing culminate in this new book where his mutuality mindset is so evident. I believe his approach fosters the interconnectedness increases frequency of serendipitous encounters and unexpected insights that enable deeper friendships and faster innovation.
A bonus benefit: Leading your life this way spurs you to spend more time with those you respect which bolsters, in you, the traits you most admire in them.
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f57eaa4) out of 5 stars A system to re-think life's priorities Feb. 11 2015
By Xi-yong Fu - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Recently, I sat in a lecture by Prof.Friedman at an event organized by Sino-American Pharmaceutical Association - Greater Philadelphia (SAPA-GP), one of the non-profit organizations for bio-pharmaceutical professionals. The topic was not scientific per se, however it is deeply relevant to all who pursue a professional life AND a personal life. Professor's lecture was based on the concept laid out in "Leading the life you want". Although I read his other books before, his new lecture triggered me to buy this book again -- it was totally worth it!
I was a student of Prof.Friedman's while attending Wharton School of Business. Prof.Friedman teaches a similar course at Wharton and it was one of the most popular elective courses among over 200 offered.
As you open the book, you will be asked to think, record, and articulate some simple questions about your current life: what you really care in life, who you really care about, what event changed your live, and whether you are content with what you have in life. Simple but hard questions for many. Then you will be asked to shared it with those important people in our lives. I shared mine with my wife. She said she learned something new about me!
One of the beauty of the book is that if you follow the steps laid out in the book, you will get the undiluted Wharton experience, page by page. I read both the sister book "Total Leadership" and this new book "Leading the life you want". The concepts are similar, but the structure is different. "Leading the life you want" is fundamentally a reader's book, assuming no benefit of group discussion and very little guidance. The instruction is more detailed and progress more incremental. "Leading the life you want" is obviously tuned for individual readers. Each reader may reach a different set of conclusions about the lives they want to lead. The book gives you a system to get there.
It's not an easy book to follow, a lot of work involved, but if you are even remotely interested in enriching your own life, you owe yourself to read it.
Enjoy.
12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f57ed80) out of 5 stars Book lacks substance of any sort Jan. 18 2015
By James Herr - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I have been reading several books on this genre for a class, and I can say, without a doubt, that this is the worst book of its type that I've read.

The whole book is essentially repeating quaint truisms like: 'be true to yourself! Find meaning in life! Help people! Be confident!' There, now you have no reason to buy this book.

Friedman also realized he needed more if his book was going to sell, so he inundated the book with annoying, useless business jargon. 'Be true to yourself to a four way win!'

Friedman realized that, even still, no one would buy his lame book of basic truths with business lingo, so he crowbarred in the famous people bit. He gives some interesting biographical info on them, then spends the next twenty or so pages trying to force his useless 'methodology' into their lives. 'Sandberg cares about her family and about helping the world at the same time, and it worked great for her. You should too!' This exact same thought will be repeated a couple pages later, because his chapters lack cohesion and organization, and he realized he still wouldn't have enough to fill out a book if he only said something once.

So, this book is merely a collection of generic truisms and annoying business jargon crammed into stories about people's lives. Don't expect to get any value from this book. If you actually want to read something helpful in this area, read the 4 Hour Work Week.
13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f57ec78) out of 5 stars Superb, Excellent, and Very Useful Sept. 8 2014
By Greg Hawod - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Is it really possible to live all domains of your life to the fullest? For several years, Stewart Friedman offers us this resounding answer: YES.

In his latest book, Leading the Life You Want: Skills for Integrating Work and Life, Stew presented a very compelling argument that our life is not a zero-sum game. It is always possible for one to live his life in accordance with his values and aspirations.

The first part of the book presented us the stories of six (6) remarkable persons who were able lead the life they want by having the right skills of total leadership: be real, be whole, and be innovative. These sets of skills were properly espoused by these persons in their respective domains of life such as work, family, community, and self (mind, body, and spirit).

The second part of this work gave us several practical and very useful tips on how we can develop each of the skills in our life.

Stew was able to produce a very compelling idea with the use of his superb writing skills. The book was very easy to understand and at the same time captivating. Moreover, not only that he narrated the respective stories of the six featured persons here but he did his analysis of each lives very clearly and vividly.

Several reasons why one should read this book:
You will learn that it is possible to live an integrated life
Leading the life you want requires skills. Want to have these skills? Don't just read the book, practice what you will learn.
You can share the wisdom from this book so you can help your colleagues lead their lives better.
If you want to be a better leader, then you have to better lead yourself too. This book will help.
This book will help its reader better appreciate the nuances of everyday life.
7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9f5822d0) out of 5 stars Must read for type A overachievers who are doggie paddling to stay afloat Oct. 7 2014
By snacki - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Professor Friedman was one of my favorite Wharton professors and this book demonstrates why. His ability to weave salient and usable concepts and strategies via storytelling makes reading this book interesting and meaningful.

As a working mom with two small young kids, the conversation amongst my friends continually returns to balance. Not enough. How do I achieve it? What does it look like? How do I recalibrate? Why did I get an MBA/law degree/medical degree if I'm "just home with the kids?!"

It's time to stop beating ourselves up and start using the tools in Leading the Life You Want to realize that there's more to life than work work work!

Stew provides a usable framework to help dive into the questions we over-worked folks have and create the path to finding a happy, reasonable, and most importantly, intentionally meaningful balance.

Def worth a read. Looking forward to having Prof Friedman visit with the Wharton So Cal crew!


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