Learning in Relationship : Foundation for Personal and Professional Success Paperback – Oct 26 2000
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In the Vietnam era I was in the military and at about the age of 23 suffered some life-threatening, horrific and unbearable experiences. They were so unbearable to me that I tried to escape with suicide and failing that or because of it remembered nothing about what had happened to me. I was not even curious as to why I had made the suicide attempt, which was being staggeringly disconnected from myself. When I was 56 the PTSD caused me to implode and require therapy. It took three years to remember what had happened to me and then in tiny details, flashes of experience laid on top of one another until the shape of my experience became discernible.
A period of my life was laid open to me that had been lost. This was a fragment of myself that was amnesiac. I had to work at being changed by this buried part of myself, at redefining who I was. In doing this I came to know that there are many fragmented parts of what is 'me'. Ironically, the same principles of interaction within myself were reflected in the first chapters of this book. One part of me had finally 'decided to tell her story'. Other parts of myself were rocked by the impact of that. Parts of me insisted I was imagining this, other parts wanted more than anything to believe I was imagining it. I didn't want to learn about being a mixture of segments of myself rather than one clearly defined individual. I didn't want to acknowledge disagreements and conflicts in myself and I didn't want to change.
I am going to read this book again. I am going to start it with the intention of listening to the parts of me I don't want to hear from. It is scary and a little exciting too.
While the book was more "academic" than I had been led to believe, I found some great nuggets of insight into why we get caught up in conversation spirals that confuse and frustrate.
For me, Lesson 2 in Part 3 was worth the price of the book. The example Short uses is real in its simplicity and he unpacks the example's dynamics in a way that clearly makes intelligible the dysfunctional components of the conversation example.
I recommend this book to seasoned professionals, i.e. teacher or trainer, as it is a lean examination of the inner workings of conversations that sabotage relationships.
Ron uses very simple language to explain very deep thoughts on living and learning from inside-out; different types of inquiries and how to apply the inquiries on our daily relationships.
He said - the secret of learning is to observe, not change, yourself.
The book is very easy to read, and well organized. It offers me a lot to think as a certified professional life/business coach, a single mom with 3 teens, and a high-tech employee in a large and just merged cooperation.
I have recommended this book to all my friends and highly recommend it to everyone who is into personal growth.