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Why Love Succeeds or Fails by [Brown, Wendy]
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Why Love Succeeds or Fails Kindle Edition

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Length: 96 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
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Product description

Product Description

'Why Love Succeeds or Fails' won the National Indie Excellence Award for a Relationship book in 2014! Love succeeds when you meet all of these conditions: You have enough love to make your relationship worthwhile. You understand how your love relationship works. You understand equally well how to fix it when it doesn't work. This is a how-to book for the serious person who wants deep answers and meaningful solutions: It explains that you see love in one of four ways: Love is a Gripping Drama, a Passionate Adventure, a Sensible Compromise or a Joyful Diversion. It tells you why someone will fall in love with you and what that person will find difficult about you. Likewise it tells you why you fall in love with a certain individual and what you find difficult about him or her. It also describes the ten possible love-matches of the four love attitudes. It tells you what works well between you and your lover and what works poorly. It provides suggestions for managing what's difficult and problematic. Wendy Brown is a Clinical Member of the Ontario Society of Psychotherapists. She has over 30 years of experience doing individual and couples therapy. She is in private practice in Toronto Ontario.

Product details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 932 KB
  • Print Length: 96 pages
  • Publisher: LR; 1 edition (May 26 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Screen Reader: Supported
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #874,606 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) 4.1 out of 5 stars 22 reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars Real Insights into Love Relationships Oct. 25 2013
By John Chancellor - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition
From our early teens to well into our senior years, we all spend a lot of time and energy concerned with love, our love relationships or the lack of love and relationships in our lives. As humans, we have a basic need for connection. Unfortunately our culture creates a lot of unrealistic beliefs about love. Most people develop a Cinderella outlook - we tend to think we are going to find the one magic person that will fill our life with love and we will live happily ever after.

The statistics form the divorce courts and the information from the psychiatrist's couches tell us that there is some fundamental flaw in our approach to love.

Dr. Wendy Brown, author of Why Love Succeeds or Fails, has written an authoritative guide on how to better deal with our love relationships. The book is based on her 30 years experience as a psychotherapist, primarily dealing with relationship problems.

When she first started to think about capturing and quantifying the data from her patients, she felt that she would have a rather long list of issues to deal with. But as she began to analyze the various problems, she started to realize that so many of the problems stem from conflicts in the different personality or love types.

We tend to think of people as homogenous - that is people are people. But, that is simply not true. What she found was that when it comes to love people tend to fall into one of four major categories or as Dr. Brown calls them Love Attitudes. They are: A Gripping Drama; A Passionate Adventure; A Sensible Compromise and A Joyful Diversion. In the book there is a test you can take to determine your primary Love Attitude.

While most people have a primary Love Attitude, people will have some characteristics of other love attitudes. And your Love Attitude might change depending on the Love Attitude of the person you are in a relationship with.

In the book Dr. Brown goes into a lot of detail about the different behavior characteristics of the four major Love Attitudes. Then she outlines how the various combinations of Love Attitudes work - or fail to work - together. She talks about the favorable points of the various combinations and the potential problems you are likely to face with each combination.

The major benefit you will get from this book is learning your own Love Attitude, learning how to determine the Love Attitude of your partner and gaining a better understanding of how those work together and where the potential problems will likely arise. Simply having a better understanding of what is going on with your partner will improve your relationship.

The book is relatively short and easy to read. Dr. Brown does not use clinical terms to explain her points. She writes in a style that is easy to understand. I think the book would have been much stronger if Dr. Brown had included some real life examples to illustrate the Love Attitudes and the conflicts that often arise.

For the most part we are fairly poor at managing our love relationships. Primarily because we depend on the "magic" of love to carry us through. With this book, Dr. Brown gives us some hard facts to help us understand our relationships better. With better understanding we have the chance to make better selections, improve the relationships we are in and repair those that have been damaged.

I was provided a review copy of the book.
4.0 out of 5 stars Very Interesting and Insightful!! Dec 3 2013
By Pammysue - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition
What's your love attitude? This is the question proposed and answered by Dr. Wendy Brown in this quick and easy to read book. As Wendy says, a love attitude is a set of thoughts and feelings that determine how you think, feel, and behave when you're in love. It reveals what love is for you. There is a test you take at the beginning of the book to determine if you are primarily a Gripping Dramatist, Passionate Adventurer, Sensible Compromiser, or Joyful Diversionist. You may be able to also figure out what type your partner is or which type is a better or worse match for you. Everything is written is such a way that is is very easy to understand and discern the differences of each love attitude.

I liked that Wendy includes the positives and negatives of each attitude and mix of attitudes as well as some helpful tips to deal with issues that arise in relationships. The parts dealing with the various partnerships of people with the same or different love attitudes is very interesting to me. Couples have to realize and cope with the fact that life brings problems. If you have a lot of love and little to no problem solving abilities, love may not be enough to make it a lasting relationship. She also states that love succeeds if you manage the features of your love attitudes and your love match. It fails if you don't. I learned quite a bit about myself and received several helpful ideas to apply to my relationship from reading this book. Thank you Wendy Brown!
5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful and Helpful Dec 10 2013
By KM - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition
Why Love Succeeds or Fails is a simple but incredibly insightful look at a variety of relationships, centered around specific characteristics which cause them to succeed or fail. The author explains that her work as a therapist has given her extensive opportunity to observe and understand a variety of relationships. She began to realize that there were common threads in people’s experiences, and through this, she has constructed a way to categorize relationship types and determine their probable level of emotion and likelihood of success.

The book helps you to discover which of four “love attitude’s” you fall under, and how this attitude effects how you perceive others, what your basic relationship needs are, and how you will likely experience relationships with all of the love attitudes. It was really easy to figure out which love attitude I fell under, through a quick questionnaire, and I felt that the accompanying description accurately described how I view love and what I look for. Reading how my love attitude works with other love attitudes was pretty interesting and enlightening. Looking at the potential positives and negatives of each pairing, I easily could relate them to relationships I have had in the past. I think that this really is helpful in learning to figure out why certain relationships have not worked, and what I should look for in the future. This book was very easy to read, and really insightful and helpful.
4.0 out of 5 stars A great overview on relationships Dec 22 2013
By JCW84 - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition
This book gets straight to the point - helping you highlight the specific way you see love, the way your partner sees love, and how the two of you can have a successful relationship together. I found this book to be very informative in such a compact format. The book makes it seem like love is so simple! As a passionate adventurer, I have always found it difficult to stick to long term relationships and the consistency that it requires. However, once I read it in print and understood fully that this is just part of my personality and the way I see love, it made it seem more like I was not alone. Then understanding my partner, the sensible compromiser, wasn't the opposite of me, but was someone that could compliment me in ways, made me feel more hopeful about the love match. Also being told of the downfalls and potential problems that could arise from the two of us together, felt like looking into the future and being able to foresee all that could go wrong.

This is the perfect book for anyone in a relationship, whether it's going perfectly well or having troubles. The insight can help anyone, and I'd highly recommend it.
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Offers Great Insight into People's Love Attitudes Dec 18 2013
By T Thompson - Published on
Format: Kindle Edition
It never dawned on me prior to reading this book, that people would have different love attitudes. I always just assumed that everyone viewed love through the same lens. This book opened up for me a new way of seeing there are actually four completely different love attitudes. The author, Wendy Brown, is a psychotherapist who has been in practice for over thirty years and came to the conclusion that there were four basic ways that people viewed their love relationships. In this book, the author not only describes these four different attitudes, but also gives you a self test to determine your own love attitude. Finally, Wendy Brown goes into detail stating the potentially lovable and possibly distance-producing issues that are unique to each relationship combination and tips on how to improve those relationships. If you have ever wondered why some relationships work and some don't, then this book will give you great insight! I would highly recommend this book to everyone who wants to understand how to have a wonderful, lasting relationship no matter what your love attitude happens to be.