Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life Paperback – Dec 23 2003
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Remember the phrase "question authority"? Loving What Is is a workbook on questioning authority--but in this case, what is in question is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships.
Known simply as "The Work," Byron Katie's methods are clean and straightforward. The basis is a series of four questions addressed to your own lists of written assumptions. Whether you're angry with your boss, frustrated with your teen's behavior, or appalled at the state of the world's environment, Katie suggests you write down your most honest thoughts on the matter, and then begin the examination. Starting with, "Is it true?" and continuing with explorations of "Who would you be without that thought?" this method allows you to get through unhelpful preconceptions and find peace. An integral part of the process is "turning the thought around," and at first this can seem like you're simply blaming yourself for everything. Push a little harder, and you'll find a very responsible acceptance of reality, beyond questions of fault and blame.
The book is filled with examples of folks applying The Work to a variety of life situations, and reading other's examples gets the idea across pretty clearly; chances are you'll find your own frustrations echoed on the pages a few times. Many chapters are divided into specific topics, such as couples, money, addictions, and self-judgments, with one chapter devoted to exploring the method with children.
Questioning your own authority is never an easy process, but it seems well worth the potential rewards--stress-free choices, peace, and affection for those closest to you. --Jill Lightner --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Library Journal
A thrice-married housewife and mother of three who once suffered from depression, Katie presents what she calls "the Work," a series of questions to help alter bad thinking patterns and reveal painful truths. So that readers might see the method in action, she has reproduced edited dialogs among herself and participants at her workshop. Direct and easy to follow, her book could indeed produce results for readers battling run-of-the-mill work and relationship problems. However, Katie and coauthor/husband Mitchell, a translator of the Bhagavad Gita, would like their audience to believe that this is heads above a standard self-help book: in Mitchell's compelling introduction, he compares Katie's process to the Socratic method and the Zen Koan and posits that it will enhance any other program or religion. These are heady claims, and it's up to the reader to decide whether the authors deliver on their promises. With the publicity campaign and author tour, there will likely be demand in public libraries. Susan Burdick, MLS, Reading, PA
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
"The Work" a process contained in this book is the only system that allowed me to really get to the truth of my story - ah - the story under such examination just started dropping away.
This book is not in competition with any other. No other book can take its place. The niche is unique. In A Course in Miracles you are told forgiveness is the key but no one gives you a road map for how to do that - Byron Katies does. In The Power of Now Eckhardt Tolle tells us to be fully in the present moment and just be aware of the pain body - Byron Katie tells you to investigate that pain body so that it can drop away.
For me, this was the single best book that I've experienced that genuinely helped me...I went to A Course in Miracles classes for over 7 years - no real change - I read and am doing The Work in Loving What Is - major changes in two weeks....
I'm very thankful for this book, this work.
I'd like to say that now I wear sunglasses so that people won't be blinded by the light coming from my eyes...but that's stretching it a bit - I'm just a lot happier!
This "work" has helped me tremendously in changing my thinking. It's helped me identify the "stories" I create around the actual truth, and it's helped me realize that those stories are what create my suffering--not the actual reality itself. I think the main thing Katie helps people do is shed their "victim consciousness" and empower themselves. We all create our own reality. She simply helps us "examine" what we're creating and change our perceptions about it. It's in changing those perceptions that we are able to stop creating the same "patterns" over and over again and create more "consciously." And as Forest Gump would say, "That's all I have to say about that!"
Whether Byron Katie knows it or not, the inquiry process that she describes really is a simple method employing cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) techniques. In CBT, the idea is that we can change our behavior by changing our thinking. It's our thinking that causes our emotions which causes our behavior. One method is to look for the evidence in our thinking, which is essentially what Katie's describing with the question "Is It True?". I love that her method really simplifies the process. The questions are so simple, it's easy to remember them, which makes it easy to use them often and repeatedly. And that is the work that makes or breaks CBT: examining the destructive thinking again and again, each time it comes up, until one day, the thought isn't there anymore. Her process may sound simple, and it is, but it is a lot of hard work for most of us! The reality is the old thinking often keeps coming back again and again, so it takes a real commitment to make a lasting impact.
Most recent customer reviews
I bought this book for a friend after reading it myself and I can not say enough about how incredible Byron Katie is and her Work , if you struggle with Mental Health. Read morePublished 10 months ago by Kim Tintinalli
Absolutely incredible book. This book went places no other book has taken me. Finding love and clarity in all things. Read morePublished 11 months ago by Brendan Westbury
I really like this book, and take to heart the info she gives. Need to be less in other people's business, and ask myself the questions she poses.Published 11 months ago by EE
Life changing book - Am only part way through, but I LOOOOOVE this concept and the teachings herein. Highly, highly recommend. Everyone should have a copy of this book.Published 18 months ago by S. Johnson