- Hardcover: 248 pages
- Publisher: Basic Books; 1 edition (March 1 2011)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0465018424
- ISBN-13: 978-0465018420
- Product Dimensions: 14 x 2.2 x 21 cm
- Shipping Weight: 318 g
- Average Customer Review: 2 customer reviews
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #580,165 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys Hardcover – Mar 1 2011
Customers who bought this item also bought
What other items do customers buy after viewing this item?
No Kindle device required. Download one of the Free Kindle apps to start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, and computer.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically
“Kay Hymowitz has written a fascinating and important book—one that should be read by every man, woman and man-child in America. So put down your Wii controller, click off the Tucker Max blog, and pick up Manning Up. You won’t regret it.”
Pamela Paul, author of The Starter Marriage
“With spot-on detail and zero dogma, Kay Hymowitz has written a smart, incisive analysis of the woes troubling today’s young men, oft saddled with the dreary label, ‘adultescents.’ Anyone interested in the state of the sexes will want to read Hymowitz’s wise, accessible and compassionate take.”
William J. Bennett
“Manning Up is an important portrayal of the disintegrating covenant that once existed between the sexes. And few can do this better than Kay Hymowitz. She untangles the complex forces threatening marriage for even the most privileged young Americans.”
Caitlin Flanagan, author of To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife
“In her fascinating, brutally honest new book, Kay Hymowitz describes an unintended consequence of the successes of feminism: the creation of a huge generation of aging frat boys, men who have discovered—in the spray tanned, bikini-waxed wonderland of post-feminism—a shangrila they are only too happy to inhabit. Freed from the old tests of manhood, such as the ability to marry and provide for a woman and children, they are biding their time, and leaving many of the best and brightest young women wondering, ‘where did all the good men go?’ Manning Up is an important book for parents, educators and most of all, for today’s young women.”
Neil Howe, co-author of Millenials Rising: The Next Great Generation
“Kay Hymowitz is a brilliant observer of cultural and social trends in America. Manning Up moves in a crescendo of accelerating energy from first chapter to last. Any reader who has ever wondered about changing gender roles and the purpose of marriage in the lives of our friends and relatives—or in our own lives—will be impressed and amazed. If you are between age 20 and 50, reading this book may cause you to re-plan your own life. Whatever your age, it will certainly cause you to rethink our collective future.”
Richard Whitmire, author of Why Boys Fail
“Kay Hymowitz does an exacting job describing the growing flock of man/children we're seeing, and she lays out the disturbing reality of the ‘marriageable mate’ dilemma that once affected only black women but has now become a broader phenomenon. Not only are there fewer college-educated men to marry, but many of those men who are available are little more than man/children—not anyone you would want your daughters to marry!”
Mark Bauerlein, author of The Dumbest Generation
“If you’re curious as to why university admissions officers have to scramble these days to keep their entering classes at less than 60% female, or if you find that a sports bar on a Saturday afternoon sounds like a high school locker room, Kay Hymowitz’s Manning Up provides an illuminating response. It’s not because feminism has emasculated men, or because the media parade one man-boy after another (Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, The Man Show . . .). It’s because of the Knowledge Economy. Manhood used to happen through marriage and fatherhood, boys becoming men by assuming caretaking responsibilities, usually by taking jobs in manufacturing. It made them grow up. The Knowledge Economy delays the process. It keeps them longer in school, and many of the jobs it offers favor women (design, communications). Drawing evocatively from films and novels, video games, blogs and research reports, female despair and male slackerdom, Hymowitz derives a fresh and pointed take on the Mars-and-Venus gender gap. This is the startling and persuasive news she imparts, an unintended consequence of the knowledge boom. More prosperity and innovation and media—but at a profound cost to family and society: the immaturity of men.”
“Hymowitz neither critiques feminism nor apologizes for modern male behavior. Rather, she offers enlightened observations to help women and men—who still say they want careers and families—make sense of cultural paradigms no longer based on the traditional life-scripts that once delineated gender roles. … A witty and insightful cultural analysis.”
About the Author
Top customer reviews
Do I need to say more? OK! Angry feminist movement of the late 60s raised a generation of angry disoriented adults who were taught to reject permanent relationships and successfully did that up until their late thirties... now they scramble to change/mask their perception to create a family before the clock strikes 12... date 2 or 3 months and here is your 'ready for a kid?' question...
My personal circumstances made me search for answers long before this book was published. When I read it, I realized that my blood was on every page... You HAVE to read it if you want to stay undead. Most important thing (scenarios) is right at the very end. Enjoy, and stay well.
Sour grapes to me.
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
-It was well researched. This book is bursting at the seams with statistics, factoids, and (intelligent, tastefully used) pop-culture references relevant to Hymowitz' thesis. I won't deny that Hymowitz did her homework. However, the research presented was not presented very well. There were many pages that were just paragraph after paragraph of figures and factoids. In some sections of the book, she'd spend so long listing off figures back-to-back that you would actually lose track of what point she was trying to make, how the facts and statistics related to each other, and what she was discussing beforehand. I appreciate a well-researched, properly cited, and thorough piece of writing, but I feel Hymowitz didn't use her research effectively - at least as far as clearly communicating your point. Some pages felt like they were being used as dumping grounds, as if she just said "Well, I went through the trouble of finding all these statistics, so I might as well just lump them all together somewhere - whatever, the reader will draw the connections and figure it all out."
-Very little in the way of solutions were presented for the stated problems. Although there was discussion pertaining to how these problems arose, there was no real discussion on how to fight the problem now that it's here. I understand that the book doesn't have any obligation to discuss solutions - it's just tiring to read a book that is (due to the lack of a stated solution, and the overall tone) essentially a long-winded complaint. I'm sorry if I'm spoiling this for anyone, but the last line of the book effectively demonstrates this issue: "And young men? They'll need to man up." How deliciously cutesy and vague. Men sure are immature now! What's up with that? Gosh, what a pickle we're in. Oh well, see you later!
-This was a spicy, interesting read at many points, and Hymowitz wasn't afraid of rocking the boat. There were a lot of hard truths and frank statements. However, it seemed like a disproportionate amount of these hard truths and frank statements were directed against men - it felt biased. There were more than a few criticisms of modern women's demeanor, but not much relative to criticisms of men. It felt calculated, sprinkled - like she was begrudgingly throwing a bone over to the male side of the fence between tirades in an attempt to placate us or appear impartial. I must admit that I myself have some bias because I am a "child-man" by Hymowitz' definition. I'm a young male. I work in I.T. I play video games. I eat fast food. I don't like the idea of getting married. I'm probably not the target demographic for this book, if there is one. Yes, sometimes she hit a little too close to home - but more often than not, I felt she was just bashing people who didn't deserve it. Using phrases such as "testosterone infested" when discussing male-dominated sectors of work and referring to organizations like the boy scouts and major league sports as a "misogynistic rebellion" on the part of men don't really add anything to the discussion. I can't help but think that if the gender pronouns in some of her statements were reversed, there would be a lot more hard criticism levied against this book.
I'd heard good things about "Manning Up", and I was looking forward to a more balanced analysis of the problems in modern gender relations. Unfortunately, it rubbed me the wrong way.
Meanwhile, men are struggling. The advantages which they long enjoyed (size, physical strength) are no longer as important as they once were. Colleges have instituted what amount to affirmative action policies for men. If they did not, the men would be crowded out of the applicant pools by their female counterparts (who want to attend college with men). With all marrying later and with women having multiple options for their lives, the `rules' of dating and courtship have been altered forever. Men receive mixed signals: should they be egalitarian and empathetic? Should they continue to exhibit the alpha male traits which women are said to desire? Should they open doors for women? Allow women (who may make more money than they do) to pick up the dinner check? On the third date but not the first?
In this brave new world, the author argues, men need to `man up' and all of us need to seek a clear sense of the cultural changes which now benefit and afflict us (even though they appear, in many cases, to be irreversible).
The author approaches the subject as a pop psychologist/journalist/pop sociologist/cultural observer. The book explodes with examples and instances--the vast majority of the examples coming from our popular culture (long lists of websites and popular books on the contemporary scene; long enumerations of films and television shows which reflect the culture in which we find ourselves).
Much of this is interesting. To what extent, for example, did Playboy actually shape behavior? To what extent do Sex and the City, Friends and Adam Sandler films largely reflect it? Failure to Launch was made, presumably, because a lot of men in our society have indeed failed to launch--a commercial/'aesthetic' response to the fact that many young men are living with their parents longer than they once did.
The book is a good read. Although it contains a great deal of data and information, its posture is not scholarly; it is a `pop' book. The author is well aware of cognate pop books, but leans less heavily on scholarly materials. We hear a great deal about Will Ferrell; we should hear much, much more about, e.g., Christopher Lasch. She is a lively and engaging writer, though sometimes sloppy at the edges. For example, she characterizes Clarice Starling in The Silence of the Lambs (a very important figure in our culture) as a police officer rather than as an FBI cadet.
I recommend the book as a collection of interesting cultural observations. It does indeed talk about the ways in which the rise of women has been detrimental for men. What it does not do is offer thoughtful, studied advice on how men can actually `man up' without reducing the gains made by women. The book is also written from an urban perspective and while the author is probably unaware of it, it feels as if she might believe that most of America lives in New York and faces that city's unique culture and demographics. (She lives in Brooklyn.) There is also the overtone that many twenty somethings and thirty somethings have attended ivy league colleges and top ten business schools and that many young people now hold glamorous jobs of the sort held by Carrie Bradshaw in Sex and the City. The author knows that some of this is fantasy, but there is very little sense in the book that most young Americans attend regional public universities, community- and for-profit colleges, that they live across the continent, many in small towns and medium-sized cities, that they may be deeply religious and have little interest in urban culture. Having said that, it is nonetheless true that video games and electronic diversions dominate our culture and that a whole lot of people think Hangover is a great movie, perhaps nearly as good as Knocked Up. Bottom line: she's onto something important, but take what she says with an occasional grain of salt.
Look for similar items by category