- Hardcover: 248 pages
- Publisher: Basic Books; 1 edition (March 1 2011)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0465018424
- ISBN-13: 978-0465018420
- Product Dimensions: 14 x 2.2 x 21 cm
- Shipping Weight: 318 g
- Average Customer Review: 2 customer reviews
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #548,179 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys Hardcover – Mar 1 2011
Customers who bought this item also bought
What other items do customers buy after viewing this item?
No Kindle device required. Download one of the Free Kindle apps to start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, and computer.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
A.J. Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically
“Kay Hymowitz has written a fascinating and important book—one that should be read by every man, woman and man-child in America. So put down your Wii controller, click off the Tucker Max blog, and pick up Manning Up. You won’t regret it.”
Pamela Paul, author of The Starter Marriage
“With spot-on detail and zero dogma, Kay Hymowitz has written a smart, incisive analysis of the woes troubling today’s young men, oft saddled with the dreary label, ‘adultescents.’ Anyone interested in the state of the sexes will want to read Hymowitz’s wise, accessible and compassionate take.”
William J. Bennett
“Manning Up is an important portrayal of the disintegrating covenant that once existed between the sexes. And few can do this better than Kay Hymowitz. She untangles the complex forces threatening marriage for even the most privileged young Americans.”
Caitlin Flanagan, author of To Hell with All That: Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife
“In her fascinating, brutally honest new book, Kay Hymowitz describes an unintended consequence of the successes of feminism: the creation of a huge generation of aging frat boys, men who have discovered—in the spray tanned, bikini-waxed wonderland of post-feminism—a shangrila they are only too happy to inhabit. Freed from the old tests of manhood, such as the ability to marry and provide for a woman and children, they are biding their time, and leaving many of the best and brightest young women wondering, ‘where did all the good men go?’ Manning Up is an important book for parents, educators and most of all, for today’s young women.”
Neil Howe, co-author of Millenials Rising: The Next Great Generation
“Kay Hymowitz is a brilliant observer of cultural and social trends in America. Manning Up moves in a crescendo of accelerating energy from first chapter to last. Any reader who has ever wondered about changing gender roles and the purpose of marriage in the lives of our friends and relatives—or in our own lives—will be impressed and amazed. If you are between age 20 and 50, reading this book may cause you to re-plan your own life. Whatever your age, it will certainly cause you to rethink our collective future.”
Richard Whitmire, author of Why Boys Fail
“Kay Hymowitz does an exacting job describing the growing flock of man/children we're seeing, and she lays out the disturbing reality of the ‘marriageable mate’ dilemma that once affected only black women but has now become a broader phenomenon. Not only are there fewer college-educated men to marry, but many of those men who are available are little more than man/children—not anyone you would want your daughters to marry!”
Mark Bauerlein, author of The Dumbest Generation
“If you’re curious as to why university admissions officers have to scramble these days to keep their entering classes at less than 60% female, or if you find that a sports bar on a Saturday afternoon sounds like a high school locker room, Kay Hymowitz’s Manning Up provides an illuminating response. It’s not because feminism has emasculated men, or because the media parade one man-boy after another (Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, The Man Show . . .). It’s because of the Knowledge Economy. Manhood used to happen through marriage and fatherhood, boys becoming men by assuming caretaking responsibilities, usually by taking jobs in manufacturing. It made them grow up. The Knowledge Economy delays the process. It keeps them longer in school, and many of the jobs it offers favor women (design, communications). Drawing evocatively from films and novels, video games, blogs and research reports, female despair and male slackerdom, Hymowitz derives a fresh and pointed take on the Mars-and-Venus gender gap. This is the startling and persuasive news she imparts, an unintended consequence of the knowledge boom. More prosperity and innovation and media—but at a profound cost to family and society: the immaturity of men.”
“Hymowitz neither critiques feminism nor apologizes for modern male behavior. Rather, she offers enlightened observations to help women and men—who still say they want careers and families—make sense of cultural paradigms no longer based on the traditional life-scripts that once delineated gender roles. … A witty and insightful cultural analysis.”
About the Author
Top customer reviews
Do I need to say more? OK! Angry feminist movement of the late 60s raised a generation of angry disoriented adults who were taught to reject permanent relationships and successfully did that up until their late thirties... now they scramble to change/mask their perception to create a family before the clock strikes 12... date 2 or 3 months and here is your 'ready for a kid?' question...
My personal circumstances made me search for answers long before this book was published. When I read it, I realized that my blood was on every page... You HAVE to read it if you want to stay undead. Most important thing (scenarios) is right at the very end. Enjoy, and stay well.
Sour grapes to me.
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
This book goes into depth only on the latter of these topics. The exposition is mostly the sort of stuff you might get in people magazine.
The author had an idea and a catchy title and she wrote it as hurriedly as she could.
Not good. Save your money
I pushed through and the later chapters were better. One thing I wanted to mention is that the author talked about the shows and movies geared to "man-boys" and how they tried to make such a show geared to women with the Sarah Silverman show but it didn't catch on. Since I read this book I've been on the look out for "Woman-girl" type shows that want to encourage women to be immature and anti-family (like the man-boy shows did for men) and I have to say there is a definite push in the media to make women more immature. Take movies like "Bridesmaids" for instance. All the women were very immature, trapped in a suspended state of adolescence. The one woman who was married with children kept talking about her sons like they were savage animals and hated her husband. Then there is the newer movie "The Other Woman" and though I haven't seen that movie it looks like a bunch of grown woman acting kind of immature. So hold on to your hats first, if you thought the video game playing man-boys were bad, well, I think were in for a generation of women-girls coming up who do not want to get married and take care of kids but just want to hang out with their girlfriends well into their 30's and 40's.
Her thesis breaks down like this:
1. Feminism elevated women to new opportunities they did not have before the 1960s, most notably in the workplace, but also in their ability to hold off on having children.
2. The change in our economy from manufacturing towards a service economy (which the author refers to as a Knowledge Economy) has meant a shift towards an economy that favors women based on their social tendencies and natural abilities. This, combined with a female-centric education system and popular culture, has made American society into a woman's world.
3. Men grow up in this society with little expected of them. And Adam Sandler movies are stupid.
4. Despite their newfound economic independence, women still possess a great desire to marry up, meaning that men in their 20s, unless they have high status, likely will not be able to attract desirable mates until their 30s when the pool of available men begins to dry up. So women don't need men, but still want a man who earns more than hey do.
5. Women love jerks, because jerks are dominant. This is despite the fact that jerks are incapable of ever being anything other than jerks. Modern dating culture, which has always encouraged caddish behavior from men, now encourages women to be equally promiscuous. The rise of Game theory encourages elaborate seduction techniques to trick women into bed. In other words, we're just doing what chimps do.
6. Assuming a modern man overcomes all of this and finds a woman willing to grace him with being married to her, he will still be treated as a stupid, incompetent and potentially dangerous fifth wheel. Although he will be expected to treat his wife as an absolute equal, he will always be viewed as unnecessary and disposable. And if the marriage ends, his ex will probably consume him like a virus. This is why many men are opting out of marriage and family altogether. Society cannot survive without the willingness of men to sacrifice themselves for the, um, greater good.
7. More women are deciding to become mothers on their own, aided by a culture that openly believes fathers to be unnecessary or even harmful.
8. Conclusion- women have no vested interest in giving up their power and privilege, so we're out of luck. Women just need to be more realistic about the cold hard facts of fertility. And men just need to grow up, or something.
Like the blind men with the elephant, Hymowitz gets the problem partially right, particularly in the area of fathers. The simple fact is that generally, large numbers of single mothers have never been good for any society, because historically they have depended on the charity of others to survive. While one might argue that today's educated western woman has fundamental advantages over past generations, no one could seriously argue that it is better, barring abuse or other destructive behavior, to grow up without a father, be it through divorce or illigitimacy. And she rightly states that a man with a family is much more motivated to act responsibly, if for no other reason than a duty to provide for and protect his children.
Unfortunately, she fails to make the case for why single men should care. Assuming that Ms. Hymowitz is correct, and society truly views men with such blatant contempt, then why should any man sacrifice his financial and physical security for the good of those who despise him? And more to the point, why is it the business of Ms. Hymowitz, or any other person, what a grown man chooses to do with his own life? How is it a social ill for an ethical, responsible, law-abiding man to decide he's better off on his own? Such a man hurts no one with his choice; indeed, he simply removes himself, without rancor or malice, from the company of those who consider him an inferior to be exploited.
Only the very religious could reasonably be expected to even aspire to any level of selflessness, or toward an ideal of the altruistic hero. Ironically, it is this very ideal, which drove men of the past to stand against the Persians or write the Declaration of Independence, that now seems to find itself walking into the twilight of a culture built on contempt toward men. And those most able to do anything about it are the ones least willing to change.
If Ms. Hymowitz seriously wants to reverse the decay of the American family, then she will need to do better than accusing men of being babies. Indeed, single men should care about the destruction of the family, because all those fatherless children will bring their issues back on the next generation of citizens. But again, this is just empty talk to the ears of a single man who sees marriage as a parasitic infection into his wallet and his freedom.
If a man is to be convinced that marriage is good for him, American women might try boycotting shows that glorify the sexual injury and mutilation of men as a comic device. They might consider changing the channel when the idiot-man commercial comes on. They might try advocating for family laws that treat the bond between a father and his children like the beautiful, sacred thing it is. They might lobby for the reform of an education system that by all measurable standards favors girls over boys, and as a result creates an ever-shrinking pool of marriageable men. By simply being kind to men, women could make marriage worth it.
But there's the irony- women, who would actually benefit from a culture that values men, don't seem all that interested in doing anything different. Or at least, not enough of them have made their vioces heard. Even though man-haters comprise such a tiny percent of the female population, their ideals have permeated our culture for the last 40 years, and will continue to do so until the good women of this country break their silence, and decide that they want their husbands and sons to have some worth. The modern American woman has a choice to make between standing up for the men in her life, or respecting their decision to be left alone. Or, as Huey Lewis put it, "Let me go... Or make me want to stay."
Look for similar items by category