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Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship Mass Market Paperback – Jul 1998

3.9 out of 5 stars 95 customer reviews

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
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Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 466 pages
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Canada / Non-Fiction; Reprint edition (July 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0061044636
  • ISBN-13: 978-0061044632
  • Product Dimensions: 10.6 x 3.1 x 17.1 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 159 g
  • Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars 95 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #2,133,672 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

From Amazon

The latest tentacle of John Gray's formidable Mars and Venus octopus deals with a topic near to the heart of almost everybody--dating. With a lot of insight and common sense, Gray tackles the hard and often messy business of finding "a soul mate." Without fear or favor, Mars and Venus on a Date dissects the dynamics between men and women and the five stages each relationship must pass through: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and, finally, engagement (for marriage, of course). Even though Mars and Venus on a Date isn't The Rules by a long shot, the courtship it describes is surprisingly old-fashioned. It's chock-full of things your mother might say: "Most people find or are found by their soul mates when they are not really looking." "The man should never talk more than the woman." But how to know if the person you're with is your "soul mate?" Gray writes, "When our soul wants to marry our partner, it feels like a promise that we came into this world to keep." Which translates into, "When you know, you know." --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

You're from another planet if you don't know who wrote this singles dating guide.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Audio Cassette edition.

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I borrowed this book from my brother about four years ago. Four years later I have been married for three years and decided to finally read the book.
The basic idea of the book is that there are five stages to the dating process:
1. Attraction
2. Uncertainty
3. Exclusivity
4. Intimacy
5. Engagement
The rest of the book is a collection of insights on how to make relationships successful or how to recognize when it is time to end a relationship.
My Comments:
First, I must admit that being involved in a traditional relationship (I am a married heterosexual) the insights in the book seemed fairly relevant and well designed. But, this is also one of the problems I see with the book. The book is designed exclusively for traditional, heterosexual relationships. If you are not a man or a woman looking for someone of the opposite sex to marry, then this isn't the book for you. The ultimate goal, as defined in the book, is marriage. If you are not looking to get married, then this isn't the book for you.
The book is written from a very traditional perspective. With the increase in non-traditional relationships (homosexuality, bisexuality, cohabitation, etc.) this book could alienate a lot of people. Also, there are continual references to God throughout the book. These references often coincide with a concept the author calls 'soul mates'. There is a trend in American society away from the traditional view of God, specifically seeing God as an active force in people's lives. As a result, this book could also alienate those people that don't believe in God or don't feel that God is active in their lives. And the idea of soul mates (as Dr.
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By A Customer on Aug. 10 2000
Format: Paperback
The people John describes are not people I recognise from my world. His men, for instance, only talk to each other when there's a problem. His single women are looking for marriage, whereas all the single women I know want to avoid it.
He gives gender-specific advice. He says that the man's role in dating is to make the woman happy, and that the woman's role is to acknowledge that the man is making her happy. He says that women shouldn't pursue men; he doesn't give a reason, which is a shame, because a rule like that is a constraint on a process which is already hard. He says that men should apologise more and should make a point of calling back; politeness is a good thing, although I've not found it a gender issue.
I disagreed with most things in this book. What bothers me is that John is a relationship expert while I am anything but, and that a lot of people have found this book useful. Maybe I am missing something. Maybe it's a cultural thing. It may well be that I'm delusional and the world really is as John describes it; although if it is, I don't think I'll be doing any dating - it doesn't sound much fun!
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Format: Mass Market Paperback
Whatever credibility John Gray had is shot with his inclusion of a list of 101 places to meet your soulmate. I thumbed through the book at a co-worker's desk and couldn't believe what I was reading. (Neither could she.)
Most of the suggestions are so preposterous that I could read them verbatim at Open Mike Night at a comedy club and bring the house down. Some gems with my comments in brackets:
"If you're a woman in a restaurant, go to the rest room repeatedly so you can catch the eye of men." [And hope that a convention of urologists is in town?]
"If you wear a uniform, wear it when you're off duty because people will approach someone in a uniform." [I'm sure the meter reader from the local utility company is besieged with offers in between houses.]
"If you don't attend a church or synagogue, go to the one where there are the most eligible people." [Hey, who's got the best babes, the synagogue or the Episcopalian church?]
"If you don't like a museum, go to one and ask an art lover questions." [Allow me to display my total ignorance and annoy you. Two surefire ways to get you to spend the rest of your life with me.]
Finally my favorite of the list I've read so far:
"If you go to a bar and drink alcohol, go to a place where they don't serve alcohol. Your soulmate might not drink." [As opposed to 'If you don't do crack, go to a crackhouse because your soulmate might be a crackhead.']
I wish I were making these up, but I'm simply not that clever.
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Format: Mass Market Paperback
The first 2/3 of the book was OK, with balanced "points of view" and "how-to's" for both men and women. Some of the information was interesting, explanatory, and useful; some was not.
But then the author began giving unbalanced treatment, primarily telling women how they ought to behave and what they ought to say. The message was that a man has a large and fragile ego, and that a woman should support his ego. She should never disagree with him, except "playfully". In public, she should paint him as a white knight, regardless of what really happened.
Perhaps it was just the author's writing style, but most of his examples, supposedly of real couples he'd observed or counseled, seemed made-up.
Finally, at the end of the book, the author insults the reader's intelligence with an idiotic, redundant, and unnecessary list of 101 places to look for a mate. Very patronizing.
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