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Meet to Marry: A Dating Revelation for the Marriage-Minded Paperback – Oct 3 2011

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 288 pages
  • Publisher: HCI; 1 edition (Oct. 3 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0757316050
  • ISBN-13: 978-0757316050
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.8 x 21.3 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 318 g
  • Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,061,387 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description


"The book Meet to Marry – A Dating Revelation for the Marriage Minded reads like a part guide/part self-help book. Written by the self-proclaimed dating for marriage evangelist Bari Lyman, Meet to Marry is a truthful journey to self-discovery that forces individuals in single town to take a deeper look at themselves. Lyman draws from a lot from her own experiences and uses her expertise to help individuals seeking find there beautiful and lasting life-mate.

Using the three step program of Assess, Attract and Act, Bari Lyman breaks down the process of being happily married by not looking on the outside but rather fixing the inside. I am happily married and have been for the past three years but I do see the value and truths in this guide, compatibility and longevity has to be based on more than just the physical attraction. Without giving away too much, I would say that this book is full of truths about the journey to lasting I Do's instead of the regular fluff that seems to be out there in "snag a man land". I would definitely recommend this book to all the lasting marriage seekers"


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"What a novel concept: 'Be the One to Find the One!'  Bari Lyman has written an instructional guide to help us non-married folks to overcome our flaws which are holding us back from being the one person someone else would just love to fall in love with.  Her writing style is engaging and I felt as though my best friend and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking over my flaws. 

A few of her statements resounded with me as they were mottoes for my life such as 'What you think (both consciously and unconsciously) is the primary determining factor in what and who shows up for you.' Wow!  So if I think positive thoughts and project a happy image then I will attract a happy, positive person; however if I am critical, evasive, unkind, or cynical or ______ (you can fill in that blank) then like a mirror that is what I will attract.  See, I learned something from this book! *cheeky grin*"


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". . . This book literally completely changed the way I viewed dating and myself as an individual. My disclaimer is that if you're not ready from your core for marriage, this book is not for you.  Bari is SERIOUS about her strategy, and if you're not ready it will scare you a little bit.  Although, she's coming from a Jewish standpoint, I find that all of her findings and insights apply to any race or religion and ring true.  I was such a skeptic, yet it helped me beyond what I imagined.  Revealing to me my blind spots (blockages that hold you back), changing my way of thinking; providing tips that although were tough to read, were necessary, and opened my eyes to what I really want and need from another person that were never fully articulated.  The take away: If you want someone who's emotionally available, you better be emotionally available yourself.  If you want someone who is thoughtful, we'll dammit, you better be that too.  Get it? . . . "

--Jennifer Rose on October 19, 2011.

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"I'll tell you, trying to review this book on my own was  hard as there are singles in this household and I couldn't  keep it to myself for a day. I did finally get my chance to  read it and love her techniques for personal growth and more. Even better is her advice on how to be the one to find the one. This book is an all time favorite for the  singles in our household and for many years to come! I  definitely recommend this book for my single readers."

--M. Luanani

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"Meet to Marry correctly identifies what we need to be looking for in a relationship. Smart, principled and engaging, this book works!"
--Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and The 3rd Alternative               

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) HASH(0x9e3577e0) out of 5 stars 9 reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e3696c0) out of 5 stars provocative Oct. 27 2014
By Michael Lewyn - Published on
Format: Paperback
I am not sure to what extent I agree with this book, but it certainly was provocative enough to make me think, so for that alone I give it a fairly high rating. (I did like the worksheets, even if I wasn't always sure how to answer the questions in them!)

I don't feel qualified to critique Lyman's ideas, but I'll recount a few:
1. Lyman believes that daters are often held back by emotional blockages arising out of childhood problems; if you have participated in a Landmark Forum program, her writing should seem very familiar (and I suppose that the more you like Landmark the more you will like her book).
2. Lyman cites Orthodox Jewish sources a lot, which may make this book more accessible to people familiar with it; so not surprisingly (to me) she emphasizes the importance of having common "vision, values and goals." She also shares the Orthodox bias against premartial physical contact and in favor of sex segregation, going so far as to suggest "Don't Be friends With The opposite sex while dating for Marriage."
3. She favors short coffee dates, and suggests that if your date is substantive enough you will be sure whether you like the other person or not.
5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e369264) out of 5 stars From a Dating Coaches perspective Oct. 31 2011
By Micki Lavin-Pell - Published on
Format: Paperback
While Meet to Marry may come accross to some as a very bold and brazen approach to achieving one's goal of getting married, it is the most honest approach. Bari Lyman offers a very succinct yet humorous approach to achieving your dream. She says it like it is. If there is one lesson that people on the search for love need to know it is, "You have to be the one to find the one." For those who aren't that confident that they can achieve that, this book is a MUST read.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e3691d4) out of 5 stars How should we meet? Nov. 5 2011
By Poppy J. - Published on
Format: Paperback
This book is a guidebook for anyone interested in changing the way he or she thinks about dating and eventually getting married. The Meet to Marry philosophy is one that approaches dating as a precursor to marriage - the daters instead look for a deeper, lasting and more meaningful love while choosing a match for a lifetime partnership. This is the goal of most daters, but they may waste valuable time dating around with the wrong type of person right from the start. The steps in the Meet to Marry program are easy to follow. They include becoming your own best friend first, understanding your perfect type of relationship by evaluating your own emotional needs choosing meaningful conversations with your partner , and creating your own dating plan of action. The book has helpful Date to Marry Tip pull out, Readiness Quizzes, and hypothetical question and corresponding answer sections.

Dating someone today has become a type of sport and there are those who are very good at deciphering the rules, and there are others who will never quite understand the game. The book goes over the usual pitfalls (warnings, blind spots, case studies, myths and stereotypes, and advice on how to create a happiness and life partner journal.

Of course most people get that tingling feeling after meeting that right person. But it is possible to miss the subtle signs that someone you are dating the right person if you don't know what to look for going forward.

By creating a real to life vision of a partner, writing down your expectations and doing the work to find out your true needs and expectations, it is possible to put yourself in the best possible position for finding a more than suitable mate. There is even a section on how to teach other people to be a match maker for you and a section with an interview with the author. Dating is a lot less scary when the rules for success are written in a clear and concise manner, and follow easy to understand guidelines. This book is appropriate for men or women and gives hope to anyone single that the right person is out there and that he or she will be accessible and easier to find after reading this book.
5 of 8 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e349420) out of 5 stars Amazing book, a must read Oct. 6 2011
By Shiran Moretsqi - Published on
Format: Paperback
"Meet to Marry" gives an all new perspective about the meaning of dating, loving and marriage. The book opened my eyes to a new chapter in life. This text is much more than about finding a lasting love; it is about self-awareness, enlightening your soul, and understanding your values. I recommend that everyone read this book. Shiran
1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e366e40) out of 5 stars Meet to Marry by Bari Lyman Jan. 31 2014
By Shasha - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Hi, The book had good questionaires about what is important in a spouse. To me it was more like a Jew marriage arrangement instead of being made by parents..but by the person wanting to marry. It was interesting/good, but being so business like/ seems more like a business deal than a relationship that is fun/happy. It is good to find the right match..and questions about who you are/what you want/need are good. I am not sure I could handle dating like this...but it maybe better than judging a guy by looks/job etc..