- Paperback: 336 pages
- Publisher: TarcherPerigee (Jan. 30 2018)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0143130862
- ISBN-13: 978-0143130864
- Product Dimensions: 13.9 x 2.1 x 20.9 cm
- Shipping Weight: 249 g
- Average Customer Review: 3 customer reviews
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #4,187 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls Paperback – Jan 30 2018
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"A veritable treasure chest of ways to help you help girls learn to love themselves, realize their talents, get along and empathize with others, find their inner courage, and lead more successful and fulfilled lives. The fact is, this may well be the only book you will need to raise great girls."
—from the foreword by Michele Borba, EdD, bestselling author of Unselfie and The Big Book of Parenting Solutions
"Far too many girls, suffering serious stressors and societal pressures at an early age, are struggling with self-esteem and are cruel to one another. Hurley immerses herself in this complex world and sheds critical light on how we can do the vital work of raising girls who are sturdier, kinder, and more able to thrive. Her guidance is wise, practical, and concrete."
—Richard Weissbourd, senior lecturer and faculty director, Making Caring Common, Harvard Graduate School of Education
"Katie Hurley’s No More Mean Girls will be an oft-referenced book on my shelf because Hurley’s expertise goes beyond the academic. She has real, practical experience working with girls, and their words are one of the most valuable parts of this book. Hurley’s practical advice is a boon to any parent who hopes to ease a daughter through the challenging terrain of childhood and adolescence, particularly when that childhood is lived in the harsh spotlight of social media."
—Jessica Lahey, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure
"Katie Hurley does the impossible—she takes the mystery and angst out of parenting a teen girl by thoughtfully illuminating her thoughts and experiences. With practical language and relatable anecdotes, Katie offers real compassion for the parent and teen that covers tough subjects, common stressors, and points of conflict. I hope this book reaches the hands of every parent, teacher, coach, mentor, and individual who plays a role in helping girls grow and thrive in today’s world."
—Rachel Macy Stafford, New York Times bestselling author of Hands Free Mama, Hands Free Life, and Only Love Today
"Now more than ever, young girls need to learn to stand tall and stick together. Katie Hurley's No More Mean Girls provides a blueprint for parents and educators to raise confident and compassionate leaders in a modern world."
—Idina Menzel, Tony Award-winning actress and singer
“The landscape of girlhood is constantly changing, and even the youngest girls are tasked with learning how to navigate tricky social situations and emotional upheaval. No More Mean Girls provides practical, research-based tips for raising strong, confident, and compassionate girls. A must-read for parents and educators!”
—Amy McCready, author of The “Me, Me, Me” Epidemic
"No More Mean Girls provides a practical road map for guiding girls through the challenges of growing up so that they become the compassionate leaders so needed in this world. An essential handbook for parents, teachers, counselors, and anyone who is fortunate enough to contribute to the raising of our precious daughters."
—Susan Stiffelman, MFT, author of Parenting with Presence and Parenting Without Power Struggles
"As a parenting author, mother of a daughter, and survivor of the mean girl scene myself, I found this book so insightful, helpful, and enlightening."
—Jessica Joelle Alexander, coauthor of The Danish Way of Parenting
"Hurley’s user-friendly layout and compassionate advice ensure that her book will be a useful workbook not just for parents, but also for youth counselors, teachers, and other caregivers."
"Hurley pairs insightful and instructive discussion of the social battles young girls face with the tools families need to help tackle them successfully. This is a helpful guide for raising strong, assertive, socially intuitive young women.”
About the Author
Katie Hurley, LCSW, is a child and adolescent psychotherapist, parenting expert, and writer. She is the founder of "Girls Can!" empowerment groups for girls between ages 5-11. Hurley is also the author of The Happy Kid Handbook, and her work can be found in The Washington Post, PBS Parents, and US News and World Report, among other places. She practices psychotherapy in the South Bay area of Los Angeles and earned her BA in psychology and women's studies from Boston College and her MSW from the University of Pennsylvania. She splits her time between Los Angeles, California and coastal Connecticut with her husband and two children.See all Product description
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To preface, my family moved a fair amount before I was 10. I attended 3 different schools and as such, had trouble making lasting friends until later in life. I was made fun of a great deal, and no matter what I did or said, I was not popular. My parents tried to help me navigate this, and when their suggestions did not work (or backfired), I felt even more like a "loser." Reflecting as an adult, I wish I'd spent a great deal LESS time focusing on trying to get those girls to like me, and a lot more time on things I cared about. The first half of this book preaches the opposite.
Tips on how your daughter can be more likable. Tips on what she can say to get other girls to be friends with her. How to get invited to the cool girls' party. How to avoid social faux pas such as using sarcasm that is misunderstood by others, or playing with one girl at another's expense.
The second half of the book talks about how to build up girls' self-confidence, authenticity, and growth mindset. This is far more worthwhile. I wish it were the focus of the whole book. IMO, this is the stuff that matters. Not whether you're likable. In fact, the "authenticity" chapter contradicts an earlier section in which the author suggests that the reader have their daughter practice phrases to help them make friends. There are some excellent reflective activities for girls and their parents throughout these chapters.
The problem is, I was expecting a book that would enable me to help my daughter learn to be confident, authentic, and just "herself" regardless of what other girls are doing or saying. To fly above the "mean girls," so to speak. Instead, the book solves the mean girl issue with a hearty dose of teaching our daughters to behave a specific way in order to fit in and avoid being left out or uncool.
If you want to learn about raising a confident child, there are some good tips in the 2nd half (and again, decent activities), but personally I recommend reading a book about growth mindset, grit, or similar instead.