My Boyfriends Back Hardcover – Jan 18 2005
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From Publishers Weekly
Shortly after her divorce from former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani, Hanover reunited with the high school boyfriend who had dumped her during their freshman year at Stanford. He apologized for the breakup, and they rekindled their love affair and married a year later. Upon learning that her experience wasn't unusual, Hanover began interviewing couples with similar stories. Some were separated less than 10 years, others for decades; many were divorced, raising the question of what would have happened if they'd followed their hearts to begin with. There's no consensus on that from the experts, according to Hanover, but many will find it hard to disagree with the thesis that first love is often the most lasting. A television host and journalist, Hanover writes in a chatty, accessible style, adopting the tone of the experienced best friend. She can be corny, but she's a realist: she includes a chapter on what happens when rekindled romances go sour the second time around. The sociology and individual stories don't always mesh well, but the anecdotes are so touching and the overall message so inspiring, you'd have to be heartless not to feel hopeful after reading this book. 16 pages of b&w photos not seen by PW.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
Written by Donna Hanover, a woman who reconnnected (and married) her high school sweetheart 30 years after their breakup, this book contains not only her tale but the true experiences of dozens of other couples who reunited after spending years apart, couples who are building new lives together, complete with a special photo section. It makes for fascinating reading, whether you are married or single, in a relationship or just hoping to reconnect with that "special someone" from way back when.
But this is more than just a mere recounting of anecdotes, romantic fantasies and realities. Hanover also provides information about how rekindled love is different from a completely new relationship - and she offers helpful tips for those who might actually want to find a former boyfriend or girlfriend, including tips on using the Internet.
My loss sparked an interest in reading about lost and reconnected loves. This book is recommended by several psychologists who specialize in this particular field.
The recommendation is a good one. The stories are mostly, but not all, happy endings. The age ranges of the reunited couples range from 20s thru 70s. It includes regular folk and some celebrities, like Suzanne Pleshette, the late Tom Poston, and Carol Channing, who reunited with someone from grammar school.
Donna Hanover intersperses her own story of reconnection with the chapters of the book, which are broken down by particular topics of interest. The book was well organized and well written. I enjoyed every page of it. The photos are superfluous, but are, of course, easy to skip.
If you need more material on the subject of lost and found loves, Nancy Kalish, a psychologist has written several books on the subject.
While this book does address her rekindled romance and subsequent marriage, her purpose in writing this book appears to be a primer for those people who have considered reconnecting and a great read for all of the hopeless romantics out there. While the case studies she presents chronicle the positives and negatives of first love renewed and places them in a sociological framework, the real hook here are the stories
For the most part this is a feel good book. It is hopeful and positive and it is a great contrast to the cynacism
and negativity is a part of modern life.
If you loved When Harry Met Sally, you'll love this book. It abounds with happy (or at least hopeful) endings, and absolutely does not rehash the Rudy Giuliani thing.
If you think your romantic life is over, just read this book. It offers encouragement and a roadmap on how to find that long-ago special someone. My Boyfriend's Back shows the phenomenon that is now sweeping the country on how couples are reconnecting through the internet, at school reunions, or from just visiting with their neighbors back home. Ms. Hanover's book will encourage lovers of all ages to search for their former sweethearts. My Boyfriend's Back is a joy to read whether you're with someone or not. It touches the heart and renews the spirit.
Carol B. Traynor