Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships Paperback – Sep 1 2003
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Top Customer Reviews
On a personal note, this book has been life-changing for me. I have witnessed truly amazing results in all my relationships including one relationship which had been a great struggle for me for many years.
This latest edition of Dr. Rosenberg's book has a completely new chapter called, "Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves." It's about what he calls, "self-compassion." He writes, "When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others." I enjoyed this chapter because it helped me translate my self-judgments into statements of my own unmet needs. I now see that when I am angry with myself it is because my actions were not in harmony with my values. Seeing things from this perspective helps me mourn my action and move into self-forgiveness by connecting with the specfic need I was trying to meet when I used a strategy that I now regret. I particularly enjoyed the section on translating "have-to" into "choose-to." The exercise showed me how to locate the choice in what I do, by connecting with the need, want, or value each activity serves. I find I have more energy, more compassion when I experience choice in my life.
I've worked myself, and coached adult students to work through some of the example scenarios. They prompted lively debate, critical thinking and crucial self-reflection about our own styles of communicating with ourselves and others.
We realized that we often put judgement into our language when we think we are simply describing beahaviour. We were struck by the realization that our English language often adds to the confusion when we make statements like: "I feel that this is unfair". Rosenberg spends a whole chapter on us being able to actually express feelings, rather than opinions and thoughts, as the above quote exemplifies.
He helped me realize that I rarely sort out for myself what personal need I have of another, and I was struck by the simplicity and power of being sure that I am able to identify what request I have of the other person that will address my need. Since I am practicing these skills with my teenager - you KNOW that they are truly being put to the test!
This is a book that is much better shared with at least one other person so that you can share the examples and share the hard work of changing unconscious communication patterns. If you breeze through this book as an interesting read, you won't get much out of it. If you treat it as a workbook, with gems of wisdom that need to be assessed, and practiced and made your own - then this is a treasure, and one you'll return to again and again.
I am working with the exercise book, which is an added bonus.
Most recent customer reviews
This is a book I was waiting for but didn't know it until I found it. Finding expressive ways to communicate without causing pain is essential to creating a loving world.Published 1 month ago by Ingrid Morgan
Very Insightful. This book is changing how I react to others and how I can express myself more clearly.Published 10 months ago by Joanne Hopper Houston
This book is the first that I have ever felt the need to post a comment about. NVC shared invaluable wisdom and insight that I had previously been unaware of. Read morePublished 18 months ago by Greg Bezanson
Excellent product, exactly as described. Arrived well packaged in short order.Published 19 months ago by Robert Ross
A book that gives you tools to help you, instead of just fluffy words of encouragement.Published 19 months ago by Karina