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Nude Vampire [Blu-ray] (Bilingual)
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A surreal blend of horror, espionage, and erotica, THE NUDE VAMPIRE follows the son of a wealthy businessman as he is lured into a secret cult that is conducting experiments on a mute vampire woman being held in captivity. With this visually vibrant and eerily seductive film, French filmmaker Jean Rollin sealed his reputation as a master of Euro horror/fantasy.
BONUS FEATURES: Introduction by Jean Rollin (5 min), French Theatrical Trailer, English Theatrical Trailer, Interview with Natalie Perrey (6 min), Interview with Jean Rollin (20 min), Trailers for Fascination, Lips of Blood, Shiver of the Vampires & The Iron Rose. "
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It is not about vampires. I have no idea what the hell it was about, but it wasn't about those. As for nudity, that just means not-so-attractive women remove their tops in situations where there's no apparent reason for them to do so. But even for those obsessed with boobs, I'm afraid the unremittingly boring nature of the film will cause them to lose consciousness and miss the breast shots anyway.
My attention span is good, but after the first unending half hour of cringe-worthy dialogue (when there was any), and painfully bad acting (come on, an actress does a scene where she shoots herself in the head and doesn't even bother to twitch her head to the side, but gracefully faints instead?), and complete lack of sense, plot, beauty, eroticism or anything, I ended up putting the player on fast-forward. Even then, the extended scenes of people walking went on and on... and on. There were many of such scenes. People walking. I suppose it was meant to be artistic. It failed. I'd like to say that the sheer bad-ness of this film made it funny. Sadly, it's not so. I only got one laugh, brought on, no doubt, by boredom-induced derision. This from a scene where a woman tumbled down a set of stairs, supposedly unconscious, but managed to slowwwwly tumble down each step, obviously bracing and positioning and turning herself throughout the slowwww descent until she hit the bottom. Finally, she decided to let her head slowwwwly thunk to the floor and it made a sound just like a coconut. Perfect!
Other than that, the most fun I got from this movie was writing this review.
Furthermore, we turned it off at a point where there was a black actress doing some kind of dance/tease kind of thing; the look on that poor girl's face kinda freaked us out. We're pretty sure she was supposed to be going for sexy but she actually looked a bit nervous and scared, like maybe the filmmakers were taking advantage of her. I know that seems like a stretch, but the rest of the movie was odd enough that it didn't seem out of the realm of possibility. At that point it didn't even feel right to be watching it just to make fun of it.
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