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Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures (Career Ending Romance Spoof) (Handcuffs and Happily Ever Afters) by [Peterman, Robyn]
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Pirate Dave and his Randy Adventures (Career Ending Romance Spoof) (Handcuffs and Happily Ever Afters) Kindle Edition

5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review

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Length: 92 pages Word Wise: Enabled Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
Page Flip: Enabled

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Product Description

Product Description

After all was said and done, the disgusting novella meant to destroy a story stealing New York Time’s best-selling author’s career was successful. Rena, an accountant with no discernible literary talent, and her band of adorable porno writing grannies came up with the worst piece of literature, (and I use that word loosely), that was ever written. Amazingly enough, it became a cult classic. Who in the hell knew there was an underground need to know and love a Time-Traveling Vampire Warlock with erectile dysfunction and his conjoined lady loves, Laverne and Shirley?
Apparently the need is there and now so is the full version of their story . . .

** Special Note from Author Robyn Peterman **
This is a spoof. A profane romance spoof not meant for anyone under 18. I was threatened lovingly and repeatedly by my readers to write the full version of Pirate Dave. He was born of the need to create a horrific career ending romance novel to destroy a really bad, nasty villainess . . . and Thank you Buddha in a tube top, it worked! I laughed my way through writing this and I hope you will enjoy this small slice of my warped brain. NO, this is not what I normally write, but I certainly had a good time penning it! If you want to read the real romance story, you’ll have to peruse HOW HARD CAN IT BE? You’ll find the first three chapters at the end of the hot mess you’re about to read . . . And now, I give you the career ending novella, (hopefully not mine) otherwise known as PIRATE DAVE AND HIS RANDY ADVENTURES.

**************************
"How Hard Can it Be? is outrageous, profane, hilarious, sexy, and all kinds of wacky.For a good time, read Robyn Peterman!" – MICHELLE ROWEN, national bestselling author

"A zany over-the-top rompfest." – LEXI GEORGE, author of Demon Hunting in a Dive Bar

“If you're looking for a brilliantly written, hot mess of hilarious shenanigans that will make you laugh until you pee, root for the underdogs and swoon like a Southern Belle then you're going to love How Hard Can It Be. Go read it!!”-- Wicked Little Pixie Reviews

Peterman’s debut is laugh-out-loud, rolling-on-the-floor, snort-Pepsi-through-your-nose funny. A very quick pace with hilarious characters and nonsensical scenarios will keep readers on their toes. Rena is a walking disaster, and it’s hysterical that her dream guy is a straitlaced cop. Fate definitely has a wicked sense of humor, and this tale will show you just how fun falling in love can be.-- 4 STARS RT Book Reviews

Product Details

  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • File Size: 344 KB
  • Print Length: 92 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00CYRH3H0
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Enhanced Typesetting: Enabled
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 1 customer review
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #8,065 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
If you have not read How Hard Can It Be yet, please do so before reading this book. Why you ask? Well! This story is actually the same story that Rena wrote in HHCIB, nicely finished up by Robyn herself at the request of her fans. This spoof has everything in it that should ruin an evil author’s career – guaranteed! WOW! Where to start with this one?!?! The stuff that goes on in this one is so over the top hilarious it does deserve its own book! Pirate Dave is a time traveling vampire warlock with ED, he has Laverne & Shirley who are conjoined twins as his lover/lovers? and oh so many other points/situations/people that you really do have to just go with it! Just make sure that you are not eating or drinking while reading this book, nor should you be reading this in a public place - people will think you are crazy and get you locked up you will be laughing so insanely!!! As with any Robyn Peterman book, you need to have a change of pants because I guarantee that you will pee yourself laughing – this one even more so!!!
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x9ad7be1c) out of 5 stars 160 reviews
38 of 38 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9afbe954) out of 5 stars Pirate Dave June 4 2013
By melody - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
What a hoot!! I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe! This of course, is not a story for the young. Due to subject matter and language, but if you need to laugh... Recommended.
40 of 41 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9ad7c8dc) out of 5 stars A laugh-out-loud hot mess of a romance spoof! May 25 2013
By M. Draper - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I had read How Hard Can It Be? and have to tell you the story within the main story about Pirate Dave and his adventures had me snorting my Pepsi up my nose and scaring my cat off my lap I was laughing so hard. When I heard Robyn Peterman had succumbed to the whining and wheedling of her rabid (as in crazy, not infected) fans to write the full story of Pirate Dave and his conjoined twin lovers, Laverne and Shirley, I was so there.

Robyn did not disappoint, but this time no beverages were drunk during the reading of this book and my cat sat safely on the back of the couch.

Oh, and with visits from Mother Nature (I kept seeing the old margarine commercial every time Mother Nature was in a scene) and Poseidon, what's not to love?

Be warned, this is not for anyone under the age of 18 or anyone who is easily offended, because Robyn's warped sense of humor and unique--and hilarious--profanities are definitely of the adult variety. Escapist humor at its best.
27 of 27 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9acef2b8) out of 5 stars Hysterical laughter!! May 26 2013
By I read - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition
Once again I'm amazed by Robyn Peterman's wild imagination! Having just finished How Hard Can it Be?, I had to see where she was taking Pirate Dave :-) Get ready for outrageous characters, threesomes, pirates, twins, skin flutes, fun bags, etc.! ! Ha! This is a quick and fun read. Definitely for 18 and over only :-)
30 of 31 people found the following review helpful
By Stephanie Ellis - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I was looking for a break from my normal reads. I didn't want a paranormal anything. No romance or thriller or even a horror. I just wanted to laugh. I tried looking at some romantic comedies but they didn't float my boat. This was perfect!! I loved the jabs at the books I normally read. Not too much to be mean but enough to make me laugh and think back to some of the cheesier books out there. It's my first time reading anything from this author and I loved it. I laughed so much that my husband finally gave up asking why and decided to read it after me. It was so perfect for what I was wanting and I loved her style. Can't wait to get more of her books!
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9ac2b258) out of 5 stars What a Hoot! June 26 2013
By yvonne brassfield - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
This story is so incredible, that I laugh so hard that I had tears rolling down my face, and couldn't breath. My poor husband asked if I was alright, and that set me off rolling with laughter even more as I tried to explain what was going on. My poor husband could only shake his head and say, "that must be some book." Even now as I write this review, I'm remembering the story and beginning to laugh.