Real Rape, Real Pain: Help for Women Sexually Assaulted by Male Partners Paperback – Jul 31 2006
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"The authors of this excellent book, Patricia Easteal and Louise McOrmond-Plummer, admirably achieve what they set out to" -- Dr Emma Williamson, Women's Aid UK, 2006
From the Inside Flap
Back Cover Blurb "If you think you're alone in fearing the rapist in your home, abused even while you love the perpetrator, here is a book that will open your eyes to what numerous other women are going through, and teach you about rights, boundaries and healing from the trauma caused by partner rape. It challenges both the silence and the social myths about what "real" rape is, with the aim of preventing it from continuing."
"A must-have resource written by women who understand the complexities associated with healing from relationship abuse. Containing valuable advice and personal accounts from those who have been therein an easy-to-read format, this book is well overdue." Amy Norman, author of Dancing with the Devil: A Memoir "Real Rape, Real Pain is the compassionate friend that reaches into the darkness to the sufferer of partner rape, offering hope and help for a life free from violence. ... This book is a beacon of light that illuminates a misunderstood yet incredibly common phenomenon of violence." Monika Ostroff, co-author of Anorexia Nervosa: A Guide to Recovery "This book, by and for survivors, will help readers understand the trauma of an attack by an intimate, a partner, and the obstacles women face in winning justice which is so crucial for the healing process. It reassures survivors that they are not alone in what they have suffered, nor in their determination to rebuild their lives." Women Against Rape (UK)
Top Customer Reviews
The authors, and thirty survivors share some painful memories, sharing their stories, their courage. The authors do focus on alot of things...starting with society...and how it has shaped how men treat women...that we actually perpetuate the myth...that rape doesn't happen at home...when it fact it does.
One of the chapters that I found the most interesting...was how vulnerable we are, and why get involved with the people...abusers. This dates back to the kind of environment that you've grown up around...which again, could've been abusive, alcohol...sexual abuse, fighting, arguing...again, making the survivors...unknowningly think that they either didn't deserve any better, or that it was all that they knew?
This is a powerful read, and this resource should be available in every RCC center around the world. Every Library should have it...
Its informative...giving information for leaving an abusive relationship to the step that you take...to even if you choose to stay...
What is really focused through out the entire book, is what the survivor thinks about herself...that is emphasized in every chapter...to remember that its the abuser...and not the abused...and to stay positive...even in those crappy times...to pamper one self. And to remember that you are never defined by what happened to you.
A must read...for every one.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
There is hope. A MUST READ.
The stories of these courageous women are heart wrenching and the fact that they are true makes each person realize that they are not alone in feeling their pain. She shows us how to change ourselves, our views without telling us what to do; she allows the option of choice. The healing I obtained from this book has helped me tremendously. I am starting to feel like my old self again and I feel better than I have in years. I feel like it empowered me to confront the demons that stay behind after the damage is done to our psyche.
For any woman who was blamed for the abuse this book will show you that you are not to blame. Too many times woman try to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and keep the secrets locked deep in the closet. We can let the secrets out. We don't have to be ashamed because we learn we were not at fault for what happened to us. Just because we were born a woman does not mean that we are a possession to anyone but ourselves. This alone is so empowering because you place the blame where it needs to be placed - on the perpetrator - he is responsible for his own actions and if they are criminal then this book will help you understand the process of what happens if you do choose to prosecute.
The insight attained is more valuable then gold. This book is awesome and healing in nature. She deserves an award for publishing this book. I plan to recommend it to anyone and everyone that comes across my path. As a matter of fact I already have. Well worth every penny.
The last three chapters are a pure joy to read. The authors discuss reclaiming healthy sexuality, self-esteem and physical intimacy. Easteal and McOrmond-Plummer provide tips for secondary survivors, how to educate children and call churches to speak out against rape for what rape is: a sexual crime against an individual. This book is a must have for both a woman who is struggling with the aftermath of rape by her partner and those individuals who are courageous enough to sit with the woman on her journey.
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