- Paperback: 272 pages
- Publisher: David C. Cook; 1 edition (Jan. 1 2013)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1434704890
- ISBN-13: 978-1434704894
- Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.6 x 21 cm
- Shipping Weight: 272 g
- Customer Reviews: 754 customer ratings
Amazon Bestsellers Rank:
#27,010 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #41 in Christian Relationships
The Sacred Search Paperback – Jan. 1 2013
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"Gary Thomas debunks the mythical search for a soul mate to help you choose a 'sole-mate'--someone who will lay down their life in faithful love. This biblically based book is for anyone who wants to be wise in their pursuit of a spouse."--Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott
"Gary Thomas looks at the heart of a subject that many consider him an expert on--successful marriage. Anyone who is dating, engaged, or hopes to be one day needs to read this book!"--Ed Young
"The Sacred Search will help those who desire marriage to pursue it in a manner that deepens their faith, honors God, and blesses their future spouse."--Jim Daly
"Why should I get married? could be the most important questions Milennials are asking. Gary Thomas helps this generation navigate the why in a Christ-honoring way."--Esther Fleece
"Our culture is obsessed with compatibility and chemistry. However, in relationship formation character always trumps chemistry. The Sacred Search is a gut check for anyone considering, delaying, or even pursuing marriage."--Ted Cunningham
"Gary Thomas dismantles contemporary philosophies on love, sexuality, and marital union by offering strong arguments for why they have not been successful. His appeal to a kingdom-first perspective gives both hope and healing for a generation in desperate need of a fresh and Christ-centered understanding of God's plan for marriage. This book is a must-read before anyone says 'I do.'"--Michelle Anthony
"Marriages are falling apart all around us and I believe Gary Thomas has just gone straight to the root. Gary just built a map to help you see through the emotion and infatuation to God's heart for dating and marriage."--Jennie Allen
"Gary creates a compelling argument that shifts the believer's view of relationships, dating, and marriage to focus on something greater. I'm thankful Gary has created this resource."--Joy Eggerichs
"Singles, pay attention. Gary knows marriage, and is eager to help those of us desiring marriage get there with confidence and grace."--Lisa Anderson
From the Back Cover
What if dating isn&;t about finding &;the one&; but about serving the One who lovesyou most?
From the Publisher
What People Are Saying About GARY Thomas
Ed Young, senior pastor, Fellowship Church, and author of The New York Times best-seller "Sexperiment"
"With a biblical and bold approach, he shows readers that marriage isn’t just about who we walk down the aisle with, but rather the very reasons behind that walk. Anyone who is dating, engaged, or hopes to be one day needs to read."
Lisa Anderson, Focus on the Family’s director of young adults and host of "The Boundless Show"
"Gary knows marriage, and is eager to help those of us desiring marriage get there with confidence and grace."
Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts"
"This biblically based book is for anyone who wants to be wise in their pursuit of a spouse."
Jim Daly, President of Focus on the Family
"Gary Thomas has logged a lot of miles working with young men and women as they navigate the often difficult path to marriage in the 21st century."
|9 Must-Have Conversations for a Doubt-Free Wedding Day||The Sacred Search DVD Study||The Sacred Search||A Lifelong Love|
|Overview||When you love each other with God’s purposes in mind, intentional conversation becomes not just preparation for marriage but the first step in merging two lives into one for the ultimate glory of God. Includes guides and questions.||In this eight-session DVD companion to Gary’s book The Sacred Search, you’ll explore with Gary why it’s so important to know the why of marriage before you know the who of marriage.||What if you stopped looking for a “soul mate” and started looking for a “sole mate”—someone who will live out with you the great purpose of God?||Gary will guide you through the power shifts and seasonal mine fields that blow up so many marriages so that you can grow in your love instead of in your disappointment.|
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Would I hate to live on a farm? Well then I probably shouldn't date a farm girl who hates the city (actual situation I was in). Is owning and growing a business really important to me? Well then I should probably look for a woman who supports me in that, not someone who wants me to work a stable, high-salary job. Do I want my marriage to be kid-centered, home-centered, career-centered, or otherwise? Everyone has different preferences, and these really, really matter.
Lastly, I started to take my search for a wife seriously. I realized it was my responsibility to go the extra mile to meet new women, not just hope I meet one in class like back in high school. There's a bunch more in this book that I'm not mentioning, and all of it is very, very valuable. I bought like 5 extras of these to give to friends, and I still ended up giving my copy away as well lol like I said, everyone should read this!
This book is well written, biblical, practical, and very, very helpful. I highly recommend to any Christian who is single, dating, or is/will be involved in any sort of counselling related to relationships and marriage.
Gary Thomas wants you to take the pursuit of marriage very seriously, and he does so quite skillfully, addressing not only the why of marriage but also helping you think through the many questions you will want to face as you consider a future partner. He will help you see your blind spots, keep your feelings in check, understand your own desires for marriage, and all around give you a healthy system with which to prepare for and seek out marriage. Thomas' experience over the many years of counselling thousands of couples shines through each page with principles, stories, and strong convictions. He has many a hard word for us to hear, but we would do well to take them seriously.
Hard to think of anything I found dissatisfying about the book, other than it might make people who overthink things (like myself) think even more. I definitely found myself reconsidering if I even wanted to be married! But when it comes to the most important decision you'll have to make (outside following Christ), I guess it is worth thinking about to a great depth.
Read it. You will not regret it.
Read the Kindle edition and was very satisfied with it. It's not a book with diagrams or the like, so Kindle format is very sufficient.
Generally speaking, the book is short but sweet and to the point. You would probably want to read cover to cover, but some chapters could very well be used as a stand-alone if you or someone you're working with are shorter on time.
There are discussion questions at the end of each chapter that are helpful for thinking through and make the book suitable for small group study.
Top international reviews
Our churches, our homes and our society would be so much more effective if Christians didn't shy away from first applying these principles in their own lives, and then in their approach to relationships and marriage.
I recommended it for a couple of friends and they all found it useful.
Lots of times, I had to take short breaks and ponder on what I had read, it is the most impactful pre-marriage book I have read.
Thank you for this Gary! I think God may have just used you to change my life!
Essa é uma dúvida que consome qualquer cristão, principalmente pra quem beira os 30 como eu. Porque Deus não provê isso em nossa vida? Porque parece ser tão difícil se relacionar? Porque um namoro não deu certo? Porque o amor não é correspondido? As perguntas não acabam para or cristão que está comprometido com Cristo mas que deseja um relacionamento amoroso, ter família, filhos, é um desejo que a maioria tem.
O livro trata de duas coisas interessantes. A primeira é que as vezes a igreja coloca, de forma bem intencionada (mas danosa as vezes), uma pressão sobre os jovens para que se casem, achem um parceiro/parceira, tenham família etc.... É quase como se fosse uma obrigação casar. Gary Thomas fala bem desse problema, pois nem todos nós desejamos casar, homens e mulheres de Cristo podem perfeitamente andar em verdade e justiça sem se casarem, sendo solteiros!!! Essa é uma opção válida que a igreja deveria dar a entender. Ser solteiro e cristão é ok. Casar é opcional e inclusive a Palavra fala disso.
Segundo ponto é: não é com quem casar, mas porque? Porque você deseja se casar? Essa é a pergunta que você deve se fazer. A resposta tem que ser: pra glória do Senhor. O seu casamento precisa servir pra glória dEle. Mas como fazer isso? Agora é que vem a parte importante: a missão de ambas as partes deve ser compartilhada, que tanto a mulher quanto o homem, estejam casados para juntos servirem à obra. Essa missão deve ser conjunta.
Um casamento só pode ter força se ambos compartilharem da mesma missão. Não adianta um querer fazer missão em algum outro continente enquanto o outro deseja apenas servir na igreja local. O propósito deve ser conjunto. Esse sim é o elemento principal do casamento, que o tornará abençoado e facilitará que ambas as partes sejam compreensivas e o convívio seja melhor.
O livro não traz nenhuma formula mágica de como casar, mas fala do porque casar e como escolher a pessoa certa. O autor revela de forma Bíblica qual o propósito do casamento, que é o ponto de partida pra um relacionamento sadio e pra escolha da pessoa certa. Não existe mágica. É um processo de escolha de cada um, mas que deve ser ancorado no Senhor por meio de oração e sabedoria, deixando a "paixão momentânea" de lado, fato que compromete as relações de longo prazo.
A Bíblia é bastante subjetiva no assunto, a única certeza que temos é de buscar as coisas no Senhor. Mas estamos sempre