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on March 6, 2018
good product and very fast delivery
i recommand
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on September 5, 2010
I found some of the advice a bit harsh. Overall though, I agree with the concept of consistency and positive reinforcement of good behavior. I do recommend this book. It's an easy read but can take time to implement.
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on February 24, 2016
So helpful. HIGHLY recommend for anyone raising a spirited child.
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on January 2, 2017
Good resource book.
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on November 27, 2004
As a kindergarten teacher as well as a parent of strong-willed 5-year-old twin boys, I too often found myself yelling louder, reminding more often and searching for stricter punishments to get the children to cooperate...Nothing was working! I needed a new approach...and Dr. MacKenzie has given me the understanding and the tools to set limits effectively without losing my sanity. I learned how I was part of "the dance" of non-compliance and I realized that I would have to change my behavior first before I got a positive change in the behavior from the children. I learned the difference between "soft limits" and "firm limits" and the importance of my actions supporting my words; then, the kids began respecting the rules because they knew I would follow through with consequences. It was an eye-opener to realize that by me constantly reminding...I was actually teaching the children to ignore (at least the first few times because they knew more reminding was coming) giving unclear open-ended directions...I was actually setting the situation up for clarification, testing and conflict...and by bargaining and making deals out of desperation...I was actually giving the kids the opportunity to control the situation as they decided to up the ante the next time! The best part of this book is the real life examples of exactly what to say and not say to the kids. It is as if the author has been looking in my windows as my twins defy me in so many of the exact same situations. I was immediately comforted by the fact that I am not alone in trying to get compliance instead of defiance from my boys.
I also would like to recommend another very helpful A-Z compendium entitled "The Pocket Parent", a convenient pocket-guide with a very similar philosophy that is exclusively written for parents of normal but often challenging 2- to 5-year-olds. If you have toddlers and preschoolers, it is a great practical companion book to "Setting Limits" because you can simply turn to the specific challenging behavior of the moment (like hitting, morning crazies, interrupting, bad words, lying, whining, etc.) and get some quick bulleted suggestions to try. You do not have to read "Pocket Parent" cover to cover...but rather consult each chapter topic as you need it. Both books have great anecdotes and a welcome sense of humor throughout. "Setting Limits" and "The Pocket Parent" have helped me get more cooperation at home and at school and are both worthwhile additions to a home or school reference library!
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on October 7, 2014
Nothing I didn't already know!
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on July 6, 2003
I found this book very useful with my highly active, challenging three-year-old daughter. Before reading this book, it seemed like I had to yell before she paid any attention, and even then she usually didn't listen. This book helped me see that the messages I was giving my daughter were inconsistent and overly emotional. Now I can deal with her in a calmer, more effective way. Now I feel much happier with my disciplinary style, and I am getting much better results.
I prefered this book to some other discipline books I have read. It seemed to be more concrete and practical than the Dr. Sears book on discipline. I recently read 1-2-3 Magic, which has a similar theory to Setting Limits (use time-outs, be consistent, don't get emotional) but gives you just one technique and style for every child and every situation. The Setting Limits book gives you more choices and ideas.
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on February 15, 2004
This book was very easy to read and understand and the techniques are actually very simple and easy to implement. We got immediate results with our 3 year old daughter, it was really amazing. I have read other similiar books, but found this one to be the most clear and concise and easy to follow.
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on December 29, 2002
I bought this book after being fustrated with my very strong willed 20 month old. It's not really geared towards toddlers but it applies all the parenting and discipline principals you need to use it on a toddler. It teaches you what parenting style you are and how it will relate to your childs attitude and then how to adjust the two to work together. I truly think this book has saved my life and both my husband and my sanity. We implemented the time out's as the book explains and after 1 week we saw a huge difference in our son. We no longer needed to raise our voice or smack his bottom to get a response from him. He would tune us out if we didn't. After the first week of using these methods he reverted and tested us more but the book says this is normal and by the third week we were finally getting another turn around in his behavior and responses. He no longer kicked and punched or bit when he was having a tantrum and if we asked him to stop playing with something that was off limits he would weight the consequences and 50% of the time test us to see if we would follow through with the time out. After 8 weeks I am proud to say he is an angel child. Temper tantrums are almost non existent and if you ask him to stop doing something he stops because he knows that we will follow through with the consequence (ie. time out or taking something away from him.) I am now telling everyone I know about this book. This book is not just for strong willed children it would work on any child and the chapter on different parenting styles is the key. I learned I was actually fueling a lot of the conflicts with my son. It helped me to see that both my husband and I had as much changing to do as we expected from our son. I also like that you achieve this with no yelling and no hitting. It's all based on consisitency. We hope everyone has as much good luck as we have had with this book.
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on October 3, 2010
SETTING LIMITS has risen to the very top of my recommendation list as it proves to have the most effective method that will get any strong-willed child (or any child) to listen & cooperate beautifully. First the author lists nine traits to help parents understand the temperaments of their children. A strong-willed child tests, resists and protests while the compliant children respond to discipline fairly well. Once a strong-willed child is identified, the book uses running through red lights as an example to illustrate how a strong-willed kid needs to receive consequence to learn the rule. If a police comes and gives only lectures, sermons and second chances, the message is that it's okay to run through a red light if one can put up with the annoying preaches (the permissive approach). And imagine again, the police comes and he yells, shouts and spanks with anger then the kid will probably feel he has been wronged(the punitive approach). Most parents alternate between the two and such inconsistency will cause more disruptive results.

The central idea of the book is so simple but it works like magic. When a child has done something wrong (running through red lights), give them consequences(tickets) right away. Strong-willed child will test, challenge but they are actually asking parents to hold firm and carry out consequence in a calm and respectable way. As a parents match their action with their words consistently, children learn to respect and take their rules seriously. Every success story told is a difficult child redeemed - a child that is STRONG and WILL listen very well now.
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