This is the second time I’ve listened to this audiobook by Felice Stevens, narrated by Nick J. Russo. They are two of my favourites and together they have created a great book.
This story joins N.R. Walker’s ‘The Weight of it All’ and Cardeno C’s ‘Not a Game’ as one of the great books that use humour to address a fairly serious topic—weight.
Women have struggled, pretty much since…I don’t know…sugar and chocolate being introduced? The Industrial Revolution? All time? Weight shaming has also been around forever as well. In fact, in some instances, it is still considered acceptable to ridicule a fat person (often under the guise of ‘encouraging’ them to lose weight and become healthy).
Men also face these issues, but their battles are often ignored or minimized. Many of the psychological issues that drive women to seek comfort in food are the same for men – depression, loneliness, family drama, stress, pain, too little time to eat healthy, and more.
One scene in particular spoke to me. Eric has to get on a busy subway during rush hour. He is harangued by a guy for taking up too much space. I’ve been there. Less of the verbal abuse, but more of the ‘Oh, God, please don’t let that fat woman sit next to me’ looks. Or even worse, when I sit next to someone and the other person sighs heavily, snickers, or even gets up and moves. For the record, the subway seats are so small that even the smallest and thinnest people have to touch – but often I’m treated like I have a contagious disease. In my mind, I say ‘you think this is bad? You should have seen me when I was 125lbs heavier – you’re getting off easy…’ Then I deride myself for still being fat. Not as fat as I was, but still not what most people would see as ‘acceptable’.
So I understand why Eric is so upset that when he sees fresh-baked crullers, he reaches for one or two. As so often happens, the guilt that follows is overwhelming and the temporary comfort is gone, leaving acute shame.
However…
Eric gets a buddy in his journey to learn better eating habits. He meets Corey on the first day of a nutrition class. He’s surprised and wary when Corey proposes they be partners because the only thing Eric sees they have in common is being gay.
Corey is gorgeous. Thin, attractive, and perfect. Eric knows that Corey is out of his league and can’t figure out why the other man is even in the class.
Eric has the same blind spot that many people do – you can never be too thin or too rich. Well, Corey might not be rich, but he is too thin. In fact, his job is on the line if he doesn’t start taking care of his health, eat nutritiously, and gain weight. There are people who fight with being underweight. They may be anorexic, have an illness, a psychological issue with food, or even just be unable to gain weight (yes, this is a thing – I have a friend who struggled to gain weight for years).
Corey’s history, slowly revealed, shows why he battles with food. Eric’s relationship with food and its associations is also addressed, evoking strong emotions from me as I could relate to his pain.
Eric and Corey bond over the need to get healthy. They become a duo in both the mission and in romance. And although the sex – when they finally are willing to admit to the attraction – is hot and the men are physically attracted to each other, it was the emotional intimacy that gave me that warm and fuzzy feeling. To be loved and accepted is powerful. To be with someone willing to support you through a painful period of transformation is amazing. These men want each other to succeed yet both have moments of doubt—that they are capable of change as well as whether the other man really loves him. The end result is a happy couple who have beaten the odds.
Sometimes it’s not the number on the scale, but the happiness in your heart. Both men will always have food issues, but each now has a partner who will support and love him through all of life’s up and downs.
I did note that although Corey’s past was confronted, there was room for another story about Eric dealing with his. (Short story, anyone?)
There were moments of levity in the book, for sure, but it was the poignant moment at the end, when Corey gave Eric a special gift, that really cemented the book and the men in my life.
Loved it.
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