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She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman Hardcover – May 13 2004

4.5 out of 5 stars 68 customer reviews

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 240 pages
  • Publisher: William Morrow (May 13 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0060538252
  • ISBN-13: 978-0060538255
  • Product Dimensions: 14 x 2.2 x 21 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 363 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars 68 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #291,523 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Dispelling the widely held myth of genital penetration as the apogee of sexual pleasure, Kerner, who holds a doctorate in clinical sexology, offers this witty, well-researched manual for "consistently leading women to orgasm" through cunnilingus. Loaded with practical anatomical information (the clitoris has 18 distinct parts, and more nerve fibers than any other part of the human body) and graphic line drawings, the book also touches on the less mechanical, more psychological aspects of oral sex, including the three assurances every woman needs from her lover to feel comfortable: (1) "you enjoy it as much as she does"; (2) "there's no rush"; and (3) "Her scent is provocative, her taste powerful: it all emanates from the same beautiful essence." Since studies show the average woman takes about 20 minutes to reach her first orgasm during a typical sex session, while men take a mere four minutes, Kerner advises men to delay their own climax and make oral sex "coreplay" ("the substantive phase in which sexual tension builds, culminates and then releases itself through the female orgasm"), instead of foreplay. Breaking down six stages of coreplay, from the "first kiss" to orgasm, Kerner speaks to both beginners and more seasoned lovers. His candor concerning his own bout with sexual dysfunction adds a compassionate tone and credibility to this decidedly pro-female methodology.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“Required reading for all men who are dating and all women who are wondering why they’re not satisfied.” (Cindy Chupack, writer/executive producer of Sex and the City)

“Take note, guys. This book is your secret weapon.” (Jauretsi Saizarbitoria, Jane Magazine)

“Here comes a book that puts men in their places - smack dab in between women’s legs!” (Cake)

“An entire book written strictly for the pleasure of women by a man. Hallelujah!” (Playgirl)

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

By T. Skylar TOP 500 REVIEWER on March 15 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I was looking for a book that would help me be kinkier and hopefully teach me something about the female anatomy and the ways they experience pleasure. I read all the great reviews and praises and it seemed ideal and highly readable so I decided to give She Comes First a chance over a multitude of books on this fascinating and delicious subject. I was worried it would be one of those sex books who have a lot of words but don't say or teach us much. The reason She Comes First works is because the author Ian Kerner (a sex therapist with a PhD) makes those uncomfortable guys comfortable with the idea of cunnilingus and tells us why and how we should go down. I find his approach to this book to be refreshing because he really thinks of it as making love, and has a pleasure-oriented approach and has no problem making his points and ideas come across and comes off as a respectful well-mannered and educated gentleman and not as a sex-obsessed pig. He doesn't see women as objects and his objective with this book is basically to help men enjoy and appreciate the vulva in a different way and teach us a few things. The author genuinely seems to be of help to men and women around the world and I thank him for this.

Kerner succeeds at giving his audience the important resources and facts to know and doesn't rush in building up to the techniques and the action. He guides us through (and the 18 parts of the clitoris, that's right 18! Most of which you can't see). I suspect that even if you are a self-proclaimed expert you will learn from She Comes First and if you're a beginner this book will be of great help. Kerner talks about the clitoris as more than a love button and describes society as "Ill-cliterate".
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Long boring read.
I did not find this book to be written in a way that makes the reader want to continue on. It does have some helpful advice throughout but is difficult to want to keep reading for most of it.
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Format: Hardcover
I've always prided myself on my oral abilities and often thought that I should write a book on the subject myself if I wasn't so lazy, since none seemed to be written by straight men or get beyond magazine-type tips. In short, no book elevated oral sex to art. So when I heard about this book, I was ready to hate it and dismiss it as fluff, but I read it over the weekend and it's really substantial and well-written. Dr. Kerner has put into words what I've always felt about oral sex and has even elevated it to the ranks of literature. It is written by someone who loves women and wants to show men how to translate that love into action. The book is really about much more than oral sex and the author brings a knowledge of female sexuality that is unparalleled. Every guy should read this, even if he thinks he's an expert, because it will inspire you to be even better. And not just at oral sex, but at appreciating the sophistication of female sexuality and how it's different than a man's. You'll learn things about women that you never knew before, and it's all fun and easy to read. Dr. Kerner dedicates the book to his wife, and says that in the world of mouth-music, she's his Stradivarius: priceless and precious. That comment says it all about his approach. This book isn't just about satisfying women, it's about cherishing them too and giving them true gifts of pleasure and intimacy. As Rhett Butler said, "you should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how." This book is for any guy who has a romantic streak, or wants to be inspired to have one.
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Format: Hardcover
It takes a real man to realize and openly admit he doesn't automatically know how to savor a woman's "cassolette." (Perfume box- oh, what a great term!)
This book will guide you deeply on the ins and outs you can't learn by watching porn, or talking in the locker room. For wetness sake! This book offers a cunning cunnilinguist manifesto, cites Marx, Rabelais, Kundera, Taosim, Shakespeare and Nabokov for the literary lover, has precise drawings for the curious cunnilinguist and even a cheat sheet for the harried lover. What have you to lose from reading a book on pleasuring a woman? Your innocence?
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I picked up this novel with the intention of learning something new about a pretty important, yet hush-hushed, aspect of life. The novels structure helped me to follow along and build up knowledge without getting too swamped with information to continue. What I learned was extremely interesting and applicable to real life - plain and simple. I have learned since, through applying my knowledge, that the steps to success are not necessarily universal (one technique does not get it done for every woman - due to mental, physiological or emotional factors not considered in the novel) in their order. Keeping in mind the 3 principles he provides, sometimes switching the method within the bounds of the readings is necessary to produce success. Though this does not take away from the fact that the information Ian Kerner provides results in a better informed reader and more caring and compassionate lover and friend. You are given the information - the lemons - it is you choice and foresight that will determine how you manipulate or turn this raw info into lemonade!

Enjoy!
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