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Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Paperback – May 1 1995

4.5 out of 5 stars 38 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 368 pages
  • Publisher: Bantam; 1 edition (May 1 1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0553374397
  • ISBN-13: 978-0553374391
  • Product Dimensions: 13.3 x 2.4 x 20.8 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 340 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars 38 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #1,322 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

From Publishers Weekly

Self-esteem expert Branden outlines the six characteristics that define his guide to better living, emphasizing personal responsibility and self-reliance.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Branden, who has already explored issues of self-esteem in The Psychology of Self-Esteem , LJ 2/1/70, and How To Raise Your Self-Esteem, LJ 3/15/87, argues that acquiring high self-esteem is essential to a person's survival in the world. His core assertions are believable enough , but he does not outline the six pillars until well into the book, which is too late to hook the reader. Ultimately, this is a repetitive, verbose, and somewhat rambling book. Better choices would be Richard Bednar's more scholarly Self-Esteem: Paradoxes and Innovations in Clinical Theory and Practice (American Psychological Assn., 1989) or, for public libraries, Matthew McKay, Self-Esteem (New Harbinger, 1992). Not recommended. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 10/15/93.
- Jennifer Amador, Central State Hosp. Medical Lib., Petersburg, Va.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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4.5 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I am a psychologist who works with self-esteem issues and almost from page one I had problems with this book. It is full of overgeneralizations and concepts that are inaccurate.
Brandon says, for instance, that "medium-self-esteem individuals" (his words) are "typically" attracted to others with medium self-esteem and that low-self-esteem-individuals are "typically" attracted to low-self-esteem-individuals" which, as a psychologist, I haven't found to be true. Instead I have found that individuals with low self-esteem may, indeed, be MORE COMFORTABLE with others who have a similar level of self-esteem, but they are most definitely ATTRACTED to those with higher levels of self-esteem, those who portray a strong sense of confidence, those who are independent, those who are positive, secure, upbeat, and have a sense of purpose in their lives. In fact, people with low self-esteem routinely attempt to attach themselves to people with healthy self-esteem, people others admire, because they enjoy a sense of self-importance and feel more secure themselves, when around people who seem to "have it together". Thus, I have found that people with low self-esteem only tend to gravitate to others who have low self-esteem AS A LAST RESORT, when they feel others are not accepting them, when they feel they don't fit in anywhere else. They definitely ARE NOT "ATTRACTED" to others who have low self-esteem. It's common, for instance, for young people who feel they don't fit in with the popular kids at school, to form their own groups--they ban together because they feel like outcasts. Inside, however, they would like to be friends with the same kids others admire.
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Format: Paperback
Read this book.
This is not like other psychology or self-help books. It does not provide easy answers, quick solutions, or relatelively useless academia. It DOES provide you with a very solid understanding of human psychology and motivation, with very, very thorough and logical explanations for its statements.
You do not need to be miserable; you do not need to be in a major depression or time of crisis; you do not need to feel like you "need" a self-help book. If you can say that you would like to have a higher level of happiness in your life -- and who wouldn't? -- then this book is for you.
Odds are, at the very least, it will help you realize some things about yourself you didn't know before, thereby giving you the power to make positive change. And there's a decent chance it will outright change your life, as it did mine.
Regarding some of the criticism in other reviews -- suffice it to say that I feel I understand Branden's concepts pretty well and definitely see some misunderstandings the reviewer had. This is not to say that I agree with every last word Branden says, but the vast majority of his work has a ring of truth far beyond anything I have ever, ever read about human nature.
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Format: Paperback
An interesting passage from this book reads, "Some of the most important things I learned came from thinking about my own mistakes and from noticing what I did that lowered or raised my own self-esteem."
This interests me to reread this, because having first read this book in 1994, I wrote so many detailed introspective notes that I too can say, I've learned a lot from thinking and writing about the "learning lessons" of my life.
And this is a life-time process.
So, what are the 6 Pillars of Self-esteem?
First, I'd like to say that a healthy dose of self-esteem is thinking for yourself, no matter what is going on around you; while you maintain the belief that you deserve to be happy.
And happiness is when you can say that you have more joy than pain in your life.
The 6 pillars are:
1. Live Consciously
This requires us to be fully in the present moment. And for
most, this takes a bit of practice, because many of us are
conditioned to disown the here and now, to survive what we
have thought that we cannot handle.

2. Accept Yourself
Yes. You have flaws and attributes. You also have the
opportunity to enhance who you are, by accepting everything
about yourself. In fact, the only way to enhance who you
are is to accept yourself.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Experiences
Through my journey, I have learned to be in conversations
where I say to myself, "It comes down to 'this is where you
end, and I begin,'"
Saying such an affirmation has helped me to congruently say
what I will and will not experience. And this is quite
liberating not only to myself, but also to my interlocutor
(most of the time)
4.
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Format: Paperback
When I was a teenager, I had a very low self-esteem. This I knew, but I wasn't exactly sure why. Then one day at the bookstore, "The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem" caught my eye, and I have read it many times since then. This book has literally changed my life.
I like it because Dr. Branden seems to understand what it is like to have low self-esteem, and that comes though in his writing. Furthermore, he defines self-esteem in simple terms by breaking it down into pillars. He also explains how to build one's self-esteem with sentence completion exercises. Overall, I have found that there are three levels to this book: reading it, understanding it, and living it.
This book is a lot of work because there is a tremendous amount of material to digest. And raising your self-esteem takes time and is painful, but the rewards are priceless. I just wish they taught this in high school.
I easily give this book five stars!
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