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Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Paperback – May 1 1995
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From Publishers Weekly
Self-esteem expert Branden outlines the six characteristics that define his guide to better living, emphasizing personal responsibility and self-reliance.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
Branden, who has already explored issues of self-esteem in The Psychology of Self-Esteem , LJ 2/1/70, and How To Raise Your Self-Esteem, LJ 3/15/87, argues that acquiring high self-esteem is essential to a person's survival in the world. His core assertions are believable enough , but he does not outline the six pillars until well into the book, which is too late to hook the reader. Ultimately, this is a repetitive, verbose, and somewhat rambling book. Better choices would be Richard Bednar's more scholarly Self-Esteem: Paradoxes and Innovations in Clinical Theory and Practice (American Psychological Assn., 1989) or, for public libraries, Matthew McKay, Self-Esteem (New Harbinger, 1992). Not recommended. Previewed in Prepub Alert, LJ 10/15/93.
- Jennifer Amador, Central State Hosp. Medical Lib., Petersburg, Va.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Top Customer Reviews
Brandon says, for instance, that "medium-self-esteem individuals" (his words) are "typically" attracted to others with medium self-esteem and that low-self-esteem-individuals are "typically" attracted to low-self-esteem-individuals" which, as a psychologist, I haven't found to be true. Instead I have found that individuals with low self-esteem may, indeed, be MORE COMFORTABLE with others who have a similar level of self-esteem, but they are most definitely ATTRACTED to those with higher levels of self-esteem, those who portray a strong sense of confidence, those who are independent, those who are positive, secure, upbeat, and have a sense of purpose in their lives. In fact, people with low self-esteem routinely attempt to attach themselves to people with healthy self-esteem, people others admire, because they enjoy a sense of self-importance and feel more secure themselves, when around people who seem to "have it together". Thus, I have found that people with low self-esteem only tend to gravitate to others who have low self-esteem AS A LAST RESORT, when they feel others are not accepting them, when they feel they don't fit in anywhere else. They definitely ARE NOT "ATTRACTED" to others who have low self-esteem. It's common, for instance, for young people who feel they don't fit in with the popular kids at school, to form their own groups--they ban together because they feel like outcasts. Inside, however, they would like to be friends with the same kids others admire.Read more ›
This is not like other psychology or self-help books. It does not provide easy answers, quick solutions, or relatelively useless academia. It DOES provide you with a very solid understanding of human psychology and motivation, with very, very thorough and logical explanations for its statements.
You do not need to be miserable; you do not need to be in a major depression or time of crisis; you do not need to feel like you "need" a self-help book. If you can say that you would like to have a higher level of happiness in your life -- and who wouldn't? -- then this book is for you.
Odds are, at the very least, it will help you realize some things about yourself you didn't know before, thereby giving you the power to make positive change. And there's a decent chance it will outright change your life, as it did mine.
Regarding some of the criticism in other reviews -- suffice it to say that I feel I understand Branden's concepts pretty well and definitely see some misunderstandings the reviewer had. This is not to say that I agree with every last word Branden says, but the vast majority of his work has a ring of truth far beyond anything I have ever, ever read about human nature.
This interests me to reread this, because having first read this book in 1994, I wrote so many detailed introspective notes that I too can say, I've learned a lot from thinking and writing about the "learning lessons" of my life.
And this is a life-time process.
So, what are the 6 Pillars of Self-esteem?
First, I'd like to say that a healthy dose of self-esteem is thinking for yourself, no matter what is going on around you; while you maintain the belief that you deserve to be happy.
And happiness is when you can say that you have more joy than pain in your life.
The 6 pillars are:
1. Live Consciously
This requires us to be fully in the present moment. And for
most, this takes a bit of practice, because many of us are
conditioned to disown the here and now, to survive what we
have thought that we cannot handle.
2. Accept Yourself
Yes. You have flaws and attributes. You also have the
opportunity to enhance who you are, by accepting everything
about yourself. In fact, the only way to enhance who you
are is to accept yourself.
3. Take Responsibility for Your Experiences
Through my journey, I have learned to be in conversations
where I say to myself, "It comes down to 'this is where you
end, and I begin,'"
Saying such an affirmation has helped me to congruently say
what I will and will not experience. And this is quite
liberating not only to myself, but also to my interlocutor
(most of the time)
4.Read more ›
I like it because Dr. Branden seems to understand what it is like to have low self-esteem, and that comes though in his writing. Furthermore, he defines self-esteem in simple terms by breaking it down into pillars. He also explains how to build one's self-esteem with sentence completion exercises. Overall, I have found that there are three levels to this book: reading it, understanding it, and living it.
This book is a lot of work because there is a tremendous amount of material to digest. And raising your self-esteem takes time and is painful, but the rewards are priceless. I just wish they taught this in high school.
I easily give this book five stars!
Most recent customer reviews
One of the foundational books written on self-development.. this could be standard for every teenager or young adult to read, but has the ability to help anyone regardless of their... Read morePublished 25 days ago by Amazon Customer
Self-esteem is the relationship that we acquire with ourselves, writes Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. Read morePublished on May 7 2003 by Mark Eckenrode
After reading through many of the negative reviews on The Six Pillars, I found myself wondering how many of those naysayers have actually read (or understand) the book. Read morePublished on Sept. 5 2002 by Jeffrey Counts
Branden writes a book that solidly and concisely discusses self-esteem and its interaction with other problems. Read morePublished on Sept. 5 2002 by Bukkene Bruse
This book and Branden's philosophy have some redeeming qualities. The sentence completions are a sort of self-introspection which is important for anyone who wants to change, and... Read morePublished on June 24 2002
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