- Paperback: 176 pages
- Publisher: NavPress (Sept. 14 2005)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1576837327
- ISBN-13: 978-1576837320
- Product Dimensions: 14 x 1.3 x 21 cm
- Shipping Weight: 181 g
- Average Customer Review: 1 customer review
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #887,958 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography Paperback – Sep 15 2005
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From Publishers Weekly
Contemporary Christian singer Clay Crosse shares his journey as a performer whose 1994 number-one hit, "I Surrender All," captured the attention of the Christian music scene as he secretly battled a consuming addiction to pornography. Crosse tells how a mysterious throat ailment stopped him cold, causing his financial world to tip precariously, and bringing the realization that the road he was traveling was surely going to end in the demise of his marriage, crushing both his faith and his career. Telling his sobering story, Crosse takes turns with wife, Renee, as they candidly reveal the desperate condition to which their spiritual and marital lives had deteriorated before Crosse acknowledged his addiction. After he confessed that he would have had sex with any woman who offered, Crosse and his wife started a harrowing journey toward building a relationship characterized by trust and accountability. Renee had to struggle to overcome a wide range of feelings, including a sense of inadequacy as a wife, as well as hurt and anger at her husband's betrayal. Many Christian readers will appreciate the candor of the Crosses' story, which offers a fragile but persistent message of redemption. (Sept.)
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Also, for a wife who is hurting, check out another great resource by Renee and Clay Crosse "Reclaiming Stolen Intimacy: When Your Marriage is Invaded by Pornography". "Reclaiming Stolen Intimacy is a powerful new study in the best-selling Picking Up the Pieces series. Find the path to healing through honest, interactive Bible study; meaningful group experiences; unique journalling exercises; and confidential, caring community."
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
Clay Crosse accepted Christ as his Savior at the age of thirteen. He was active in church youth groups and music groups. He was a Christian but did not have a close personal relationship with Christ.
Clay had his first experience with pornography when he was in the fourth grade. He was at a friend's house and they found the dad's collection of magazines. His involvement with pornography increased as he entered his high school years.
Clay and Renee started dating and made public commitments to sexual purity, but Clay continued to secretly view pornographic magazines and videos. He didn't realize that this "habit" was taking over his life and damaging his relationship with his wife and with God.
Clay and Renee Crosse share the difficult journey they experienced after Clay went public with his problem and asked for forgiveness. They both share their feelings in the pages of this book. They were committed to their marriage and they were able to use this experience to draw nearer to God and to each other.
This couple is a role model for couples who find their marriage in the ditch. Clay and Renee demonstrate that it is possible to come through the storm and have a stronger marriage and a closer walk with God. They are reaching out to other hurting couples with their Holy Homes Ministry.
There is hope for a better life....this book proves it!
I initially found this book because it was free on kindle. I was intrigued because while some might label this "vanity press," confessing to the sin of pornography and adultery while in public ministry is not usually a vanity thing, but can be a deal breaker. I also, having spoken with many women who struggle to deal with their husband's issues in this area of sexual sin, I wanted to understand both sides of the story.
The Crosse's do a good job describing the rise to fame and descent into sin, how that impacted them and what God did to bring Clay to repentance. I loved the honesty that Clay and Renee express as they share a deeply painful part of their marriage and life. I also appreciate the emphasis on repentance and that pornography was not really the "biggest sin" that they faced. That was merely as surface issue that had its roots in selfishness and not being fully surrendered to Jesus Christ.
They describe their painful journey to healing and how God has led them through that process. There were no magic bullets through the pain they endured but they did not give up on their marriage or each other in spite of the pain and I find that admirable given the high rate of divorce even in the Christian church.
If you want to understand the damage pornography can do to your faith, ministry and marriage, then this book is good. It reads quickly and the use of Scripture is succinct and appropriate. There is no preaching here, just authentic telling of their story and what they learned. Biblical headship and trust are addressed in how that plays out in the wake of such a painful breach of trust in a relationship. Men who are struggling with this issue could learn a lot from the example of Clay's humility and servant's heart towards his wife. It is a beautiful thing to see how God has taken what was dark and painful and brought beauty out of it in their marriage.
I would recommend this book to pastors, and to anyone struggling with pornography or married to someone who is. Everyone's path may be different but I think the core issues that the Crosse's address are biblical and true and would be helpful to those who really are not even "getting it" as to why this sin I s such a big deal.