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Surviving the Death of a Sibling: Living Through Grief When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies Paperback – May 27 2003
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"If you or someone you love has experienced the death of an adult sibling, then buy this book. Wray is a captivating story teller who weaves stories of herself and many other sibling grievers to bring clarity and understanding to the complex process of sibling grief. Insightful, consoling, and filled with helpful, proactive steps designed to help surviving siblings cope with their devastating loss, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a "must read" for every surviving sibling."
—Tom Golden LCSW, author of Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing and creator of Webhealing.com
From the Inside Flap
When T.J. Wray lost her 43-year-old brother, her grief was deep and enduring and, she soon discovered, not fully acknowledged. Despite the longevity of adult sibling relationships, surviving siblings are often made to feel as if their grief is somehow unwarranted. After all, when an adult sibling dies, he or she often leaves behind parents, a spouse, and even children--all of whom suffer a more socially recognized type of loss.
Based on the author's own experiences, as well as those of many others, Surviving the Death of a Sibling helps adults who have lost a brother or sister to realize that they are not alone in their struggle. Just as important, it teaches them to understand the unique stages of their grieving process, offering practical and prescriptive advice for dealing with each stage.
In Surviving the Death of a Sibling, T.J. Wray discusses:
- Searching for and finding meaning in your sibling's passing
- Using a grief journal to record your emotions
- Choosing a grief partner to help you through tough times
- Dealing with insensitive remarks made by others
Warm and personal, and a rich source of useful insights and coping strategies, Surviving the Death of a Sibling is a unique addition to the literature of bereavement.
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Top Customer Reviews
But the second stroke of genius in this book is that the author DOES specifically address the loss of an adult sibling. She labels this a "disenfranchised loss", one that is not recognized as a major loss by society and thus makes the griever feel confused or guilty by his or her inability to recover from the sibling's death. She adds the story of her own journey of grief over her brother's death to those of dozens of others who have lost siblings. I felt so comforted knowing that the pain I was in (and still am) is normal and should be recognized as something that will not pass quickly. I found myself saying, "That's just how I feel!" over and over. I am so glad that I bought this book, and I know that I will keep referring to it for a long time. I plan to buy a copy for three of my friends that have lost adult siblings, and I know that it is the greatest gift that I can give them.
The morning my sister passed away I was with her and two of her treatment nurses came in the hospital room to offer condolences. Both also were sobbing, as the bond between my sister, me and the medical staff can, and DID become extremely close and intense. "Joan" insisted that *I* read Ms. Wray's book and also insisted that she, herself, would purchase it for me. She brought it to me during my sister's wake and I have been reading it for the last 3 weeks. It has been such a comfort.......Ms. Wray speaks as if she were in my home with me...... and most of all what Ms. Wray and every other person who has experienced an adult sibling loss is mentioned in this book say is exactly what I am now feeling. I also know what is to come, and yes, I HAVE been pushed aside as the grief of my elderly parents and my sister's only daughter seems more important to others than my grief as a sibling.
Not so, with Ms. Wray, and I highly recommend this book to any surviving sibling. It is getting me through and while I know I have a long and lonely way to go, with Ms. Wray's help and those who also told of their own stories in Ms. Wray's book, I know I will.
Most recent customer reviews
Excellent read. One of the very few books relating to adult sibling grief which has been a forgotten among the many works on loss and grief
I highly recommend it.
Thank heavens I found TJ Wray's website and that it brought me to her book.
After the loss of my 29 year old brother to cancer, I did the best I could to "deal with... Read more
My eldest brother died a number of years ago in a very tragic accident, and I still feel pain every day when I wake up. Read morePublished on June 23 2003