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Too Nice for Your Own Good: How to Stop Making 9 Self-Sabotaging Mistakes Paperback – Nov 1 2000
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Top Customer Reviews
But I'm also trying new behaviors that the author suggests. For example, I've started saying "I'll have to get back to you" when my own reactivity kicks in. A simple suggestion, almost common sense. But it helps preserve important relationships and gives me time to come up with a calm, healing response.
If you feel a need to be perfect, if you lose yourself into other people's problems, if you sputter in the face of ambush, if you have trouble saying what you want, this book is for you. It offers practical, down-to-earth, doable ideas that work.
But be warned: the author will help you envision the climb toward more authentic niceness, and he will provide some handholds. But the work will be up to you. If you're like me, you will find his suggestions difficult to pull off. But the effort will be worthwhile.
I never realized until recently how deeply my so-called niceness was hurting me, absolutely draining me. It's as if I've gone through my entire life (until now) thinking solely of others, in order not to be rejected, abandoned, dis-vaildated. I supress my anger, and do all the other mistakes that are mentioned in the book. Needless to say, my stress levels have been over the top, trying so damn hard not to step on someone else's toes! Well, no more. I am done with apologizing for existing on this earth, and Mr. Robinson is giving me the validation and the confidence I need to move forward in the healthiest of ways! I thank you, sir, from the bottom of my heart. You have facilitated a major change in my life, and I am beyond grateful to you. I highly recomend this book, and I do not believe that 5 stars are quite enough to rate it. Read it, and change your life's approach.
This book opened my eyes to a lot of important insights into how my
"niceness" has undercut my integrity and effectiveness as a person. I'm impressed with
the substance and clarity with which it's written, and especially the fact
that I couldn't find any "psychobabble." I'm also impressed with the balance of
theoretical understanding and practical information. It's been of tremendous
help to me. I cannot recommend it too highly.
I was recently interviewing for a job and was called in for EIGHT interviews.
The stress was on! Duke helped me to see the big picture, to focus on what I
wanted and needed, and not be bogged down with needless baggage that some of
us "nice" people carry with us.
This book has helped me with personal relationships at home and with friends,
has refocused my attention to my communication methods so that I use clear
and succinct wording, and it has helped me see that nice guys can finish first.
Thanks, Duke. The book is great!
And now that it's been in paperback for a while, everyone should own a copy. Get it now before you are manipulated by your own actions.
1. Liberating from the bondage of other's expectations
2. Saying no and saving work overloads
3.Read more ›
The term `too nice' probably means `afraid of causing trouble', which equates to being unassertive and trying to please everybody. I know that I've been in this bracket of people, and it is a zone that needs escaping. The approach in this book is one of going outside your comfort zone little by little in order to gain confidence; a safe and proven course to take, and a course endorsed by counsellors worldwide, so I thoroughly recommend this book.
But there is a second approach. These problems basically amount to a fear of rejection, which is usually a lack of confidence caused by limited social skill. In addition to extending our comfort zones we can learn all about how people work, and we can develop our own behaviours through learning more about human behaviour in general.Read more ›
Most recent customer reviews
Many of the insights expressed echo thoughts and actions that I have questioned in myself and Too Nice have given validity to my sense of self.Published 11 months ago by paul george
Maddeningly topical and idealistic. Worse than the platitudes was the list of maxims -- Robinson's shoulds and shouldn'ts of becoming a better person -- that undermine the very... Read morePublished 14 months ago by Jonnyboy
It is a wonderful book. It helped me to overcome problems that life throws at me without turning into a mean person.Published on March 13 2013 by Ulf Geerds
This is a great little book that helps you recognise when your own "giving" behaviour isn't really helpful to you or the people that you love. Read morePublished on April 8 2012 by Bear54
Being "nice" isn't always as good as it look!
Always being "nice" looks so good from the outside, but oh, the pain that is there inside. Read more
It had never occurred to me - could I sometimes be too nice toward other people? I didn't think my wife would agree! She's always wanted nothing but "niceness" from me!! Read morePublished on Oct. 6 2003 by John Hadsell