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Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life Hardcover – May 6 2008

5.0 out of 5 stars 4 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Harvard Business Review Press; 1 edition (May 6 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1422103285
  • ISBN-13: 978-1422103289
  • Product Dimensions: 16.1 x 2.5 x 24 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 567 g
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars 4 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #240,261 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Review

“Whether you're thinking ambitiously about your start-up or more holistically about what kind of leader you want to be to those around you, please all your stakeholders. Go for the four-way win.” — David Gardner, Motley Fool

“Stewart Friedman in his book Total Leadership talks about this as ‘four-way wins.’ I think balance is almost impossible these days, but if you try to think of career, family, community, and self as four circles and try to overlap them, you will feel more productive.” — Julie Smolyansky, CEO of Lifeway

“Students talk about Stewart D. Friedman, a management professor at the Wharton School, with a mixture of earnest admiration, gratitude and rock star adoration.” — The New York Times

Dr. Stewart Friedman on “Time Bind” vs. Psychological Interference and More: “He is absolutely brilliant with micro-testing and fixing two largely unaddressed issues for type-A personalities: psychological interference and conflicting goals.” — The Blog of Tim Ferris

Winner of the 2008 Best in Category – Personal Development. — CEO-Read

“In his 2008 book Total Leadership, author Stewart Friedman does a memorable job debunking the concept of "work-life balance." I'm a sucker for iconoclastic writing that replaces threadbare thinking with new language and new frameworks, and to me, "work-life balance" was cruising for a bruising. Friedman gives it a nice offing.” — The Motley Fool

“Highly innovative, pedagogical, and inspiring, the book combines the largely masculine field of leadership studies with the largely feminine field of work-life, rejuvenating both…Instead of taking the traditional work-life balance approach…Total Leadership taps the jazz metaphor…offering a concise and crystal clear history of the fields it builds upon, the book explains complex work-life concepts…Friedman gives useful tips. Suggesting a bold vision of leadership that encompasses all domains of life…it is highly energizing and liberating. The books scholarly ambition also is inspiring” — Human Resources Management, reviewed by Ariane Ollier-Malaterre, PhD

Total Leadership isn't your traditional business book. It isn't about foolproof sales techniques, how to get your dream job, or squeezing the most out of employees. The book is different because of its compelling message that it is possible to lead a richer life simply by assuming leadership of one's own life.” — Personnel Psychology

“If you're looking to balance work and life, this easy-to-read, holistic guide to success in both areas is for you.” — Management Today

“One word is noticeable by its absence: balance…The customised approach of Friedman’s programme, and its focus upon interconnectivity, dispels this traditional viewpoint.” — Chief Executive Officer, A Life In Harmony

“Friedman creates a simple and powerful “three-legged stool” structure in his book that would serve as a great road map for any leader or aspiring leader. The three legs are: authenticity, integrity and creativity…Friedman’s view of total leadership is about an integrated and holistic systems view of the human leader. It’s that simple, and that powerful. Friedman’s book will be a valuable resource to anyone interested in initiating a self-dialogue about professional and personal values and, indeed, to anyone interested in becoming a better leader.” — Workspan


ADVANCE PRAISE FOR TOTAL LEADERSHIP:

“In a world of work-life trade-offs, Stew Friedman offers what most think impossible, a field-tested program that gives you not only what you want in business, but also what you want in life. Brilliant!”
Timothy Ferris, author, The 4-Hour Workweek, #1 New York Times bestseller

“The best leaders are those who stay connected—to their communities, to the people they love, to themselves. In Stew Friedman’s Total Leadership, you’ll learn simple, powerful new ways to make these connections happen and enjoy the rich rewards that inevitably follow.”
Keith Ferrazzi, CEO, Ferrazzi Greenlight, and coauthor, Never Eat Alone

“Stew’s class at Wharton transformed my development as a leader and Internet entrepreneur. This book and the exercises in it are equally powerful—I’m buying a copy for everyone in my company.”
Brett A. Hurt, Founder and CEO, Bazaarvoice

“Stew Friedman’s framework is the most comprehensive and meaningful distillation of how to lead yourself and others that I have encountered. I use the precepts of Total Leadership in my daily life, and I’m better off for it.”
Richard Smith, Chief of Staff to the CFO, Sears Holdings Corporation and former Army company commander and combat veteran

In the future, being a leader will require ways to integrate work with rest of one's life, resulting in more effective leadership and a more fulfilling life. Total Leadership points the way.
Robert Reich, Professor, University of California at Berkeley, former US Secretary of Labor, and author, Supercapitalism

Destined to be a classic, this is a remarkable book. I have studied leadership and led organizations for over twenty years. No other book has reshaped my thinking about leadership development as much as Total Leadership.
David A. Thomas, Dean, Georgetown University McDonough School of Business, and author, Breaking Through: The Making of Minority Professionals in Corporate America

With a refreshingly simple approach to winning the daily struggle between family bliss and career satisfaction, Stew Friedman outlines clear and innovative solutions for better managing the competing demands of our lives. Engaging and inspiring.
Anne Erni, Head of Leadership, Learning and Diversity at Bloomberg

It is difficult to translate the dynamic process of learning into the pages of a book, but Stew Friedman has done it! When we become more intentional leaders, it benefits every facet of our lives: our work, our families, our community connections, and, at the deepest level, ourselves.
Ellen Galinsky, President, Families and Work Institute

Total Leadership is so aligned with my thinking as an HR executive and medical director of a global business. With practical tools and compelling stories, Friedman demonstrates how to achieve four-way wins a distinctive, important new concept for today s leaders.
Dr. Robert W. Carr, Vice President and Corporate Medical Director, GlaxoSmithKline

About the Author

Stewart D. Friedman is the founding director of the Wharton School's Leadership Program and Wharton's Work/Life Integration Project. He is the former head of Ford's Leadership Development Center


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Format: Hardcover
I wish this book had been available 20 years ago when I was a senior-level corporate executive, struggling without much success to balance everything in my life. At that time, I had a large corporate staff to supervise and was married and the father of four teenagers, three sons and a daughter. Moreover, I was actively involved in several non-profit organizations. Finally, whenever possible, I tried to "squeeze" into my already busy life a occasional round of golf, a visit to one of the local art museums, "going out" to see a film. What I should have done -- but failed to do -- is what Stewart Friedman recommends in this book: to reflect on and then explore (through a four-step process of discovery) the relative importance of four domains in my life (i.e. work, home, community, and self) and determine (a) whether or not the goals I was pursuing in each were in synch, (b) in synch with the other goals, and (c) and how satisfied I was with what was happening in each and all domains. That was then...

Now, here's my take on a few of Friedman's key points.

1. Most people (including business leaders) function in the aforementioned domains. Once each has been measured, he challenge is to make whatever modifications are necessary to establish and then sustain harmony between and among them. "The whole fits together elegantly."

2. According to Friedman, "total" leaders possess great strength because they do what they love, drawing upon the resources of their entire (four-domain) life. By acting with authenticity, they are creating value for themselves, their families, their businesses, and their world.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I've always assumed great leadership is about learning and mastering a series of skill sets and being willing to make compromises to execute the plan. This book provides a completely different perspective which is quite inspiring.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
Excellent read. Very informative with great theories and steps to being not only a better leader but also a better person. Stew writes in easy to comprehend English with dialogue that keeps you reading.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
Good book.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)

Amazon.com: HASH(0x9e22f108) out of 5 stars 42 reviews
54 of 54 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e34eb4c) out of 5 stars Great book - deceiving title July 10 2008
By M. Henderson - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I took two intercontinental flights recently and took the time to go through the "Total Leadership" program. And, before I begin my review, I want to say that over the past ten years or so I've seen an absolute avalanche of "leadership" books come out - most of them gimmicky and useless. This is not one of them and in fact I believe the title may deter people from purchasing this; do not be one of them.

"Total Leadership" is about finding your way when you have multiple responsibilities tugging you in different directions. Until now, I've often felt family pulling me one way, only to find the more time I spend with them the more I resent the time it takes away from work. Similarly, on business trips for example, I fight with feelings of guilt for being away from my family. And that's not to mention the the toll all of this takes on my health, when I'm too busy to exercise or just watch the game with friends. I'm here to say this book can help, like finding the long lost manual and finally figuring our how to do new things with a product, this book acts as a guide to finding a semblance of control in your life. It's not about sacrifice, and it's definitely not found in the idea of "balance", this book advocates a powerful third way: overlapping your domains and drawing boundaries.

What makes this book especially effective are the exercises the author puts the reader through. The reader is asked to define the issue, starting with the multiple responsibilities and challenges s/he faces, then it moves on to defining your domains, where is it that you spend your time? Most of the readers (including myself) would find four areas: self, family, work and community. Then, with domains defined, you can identify stakeholders in each domain and begin the process of finding ways "to live your life in accord with what really matters to you." The reader is asked to discuss his/her vision for a future life (post-change) with trusted individuals s/he has previously identified. A particularly effective step is then speaking with others about living your life differently, such as: your boss, significant other and friends, and getting their opinion and feedback on your plan, and as difficult and challenging as this may be it ends up providing the most powerful incentive to change through accountability and stakeholder buy-in. In many cases, I found that as much as I was building bridges between domains in my life, I was also creating boundaries (for example, no longer do I check my blackberry or the Internet between the hours of 6pm - 9pm.) But some of the biggest changes are personal ones that are for me and my family, other readers will likely find similar decisions they make without necessarily sharing them.

This book is not about easy decisions, or difficult ones, its about drilling down to what's most important in your life and building from there.

Ultimately, this book is required reading once, in my opinion, you are put in a position of responsibility. It is effective in maintaining a mindset conducive to responsible living, it provides a non-cookie cutter approach and it creates change in your life through practical exercises.

For these reasons, this reviewer highly recommends "Total Leadership."
15 of 16 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e34ed98) out of 5 stars Better than The Four Hour Workweek! June 9 2008
By Tech-shaman - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
Stew Friedman has hit the ball out of the park by writing a book about his real-world experience helping people combine and optimize their home life with their work life. I took a class from Stew at Wharton a few years ago as the ideas and techniques in this book were evolving. The basic idea is to use Stew's rating methodology to rank how much effort you put into different parts of your life and to measure it against the returns you get. It's surprisingly easy to do and very insightful. Then, the book shows you how to optimize where you focus your energy so you can get better results in all the parts of your life that matter. Very few business and leadership books admit that the link between your home life and your work life is an integral part of how you function in both. Total Leadership not only understands this idea, it teaches you how to strengthen the link, enriching your life at work and at home. Try it, it works!
-a happy VP somewhere in Silicon Valley
18 of 20 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e34efd8) out of 5 stars Brilliant insights on the never-ending process of becoming a total person July 10 2008
By Robert Morris - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
I wish this book had been available 20 years ago when I was a senior-level corporate executive, struggling without much success to balance everything in my life. At that time, I had a large corporate staff to supervise and was married and the father of four teenagers, three sons and a daughter. Moreover, I was actively involved in several non-profit organizations. Finally, whenever possible, I tried to "squeeze" into my already busy life a occasional round of golf, a visit to one of the local art museums, "going out" to see a film. What I should have done -- but failed to do -- is what Stewart Friedman recommends in this book: to reflect on and then explore (through a four-step process of discovery) the relative importance of four domains in my life (i.e. work, home, community, and self) and determine (a) whether or not the goals I was pursuing in each were in synch, (b) in synch with the other goals, and (c) and how satisfied I was with what was happening in each and all domains. That was then...

Now, here's my take on a few of Friedman's key points.

1. Most people (including business leaders) function in the aforementioned domains. Once each has been measured, he challenge is to make whatever modifications are necessary to establish and then sustain harmony between and among them. "The whole fits together elegantly."

2. According to Friedman, "total" leaders possess great strength because they do what they love, drawing upon the resources of their entire (four-domain) life. By acting with authenticity, they are creating value for themselves, their families, their businesses, and their world. By acting with integrity, they satisfy their craving for a sense of connection, for coherence in disparate parts of their lives, and for the peace of mind that comes from strictly and consistently adhering to a code of values. Meanwhile, they "keep a results-driven focus while providing maximum flexibility (choice in how, when, and where things get done.) They have the courage to experiment with new arrangements and communications tools to better meet the expectations of people who depend on them."

3. At the same time, a "total" leader does everything she or he can to help others (at work, at home, in the community and for themselves) to become aware of whatever changes may be necessary within her or his own domains; to have a sense of urgency about making those modifications; to decide to commit to appropriate action that will create for each a different, better future; to solve whatever problems encountered when pursuing the giving goals, meanwhile sustaining commitment despite any barriers, delays, distractions, etc. Total leaders also ensure that "people who depend on them" have the support and encouragement they may need by celebrating incremental successes while resisting "slippage."

4. In Chapter 6, Friedman urges that those who aspire to become total leaders learn how to adapt to new circumstances with confidence to conduct several "design experiments" whose purpose is to increase the ability to be innovative with creative action. He identifies ten types such as "Appreciating and Caring" experiments that involve having fun with people, caring for others, and appreciating relationships. Daniel Goleman characterizes this as developing "emotional intelligence" and Friedman believes that it is very important in each of the four domains. Because each domain has different kinds of relationships, separate goals and strategies must be devised for nourishing ("humanizing") relationships in each.

5. In the next chapter, Friedman offers sound advice on "how to get going and make something new stick" during what is necessarily a never-ending process of human development. Once again, he stresses the importance of achieving "four-way wins" in each domain by "jumping" into the hearts and minds of others. "The best experiments are those that don't just get the approval from all your stakeholders, but will genuinely benefit them by changing their worlds for the better...When you're trying to make something new happen, you've got to know what others care about, so that you can adjust your actions. And you've got to know whom they trust, so that you know who will listen to whom as you seek to exert influence."

I can personally attest to the importance of each of these and Friedman's other key points. However, what he advocates is obviously much easier said than done. Consider the concept of "balance," of "integrating" what is most important in each of the four domains. Let's assume that someone achieves that. For most of us (including corporate CEOs), a proper balance on weekdays usually differs (sometimes) substantially from a proper balance during weekends. Moreover, obligations, objectives, and opportunities in the work domain, for example, change during the progression of a career. That is, our proper balances on weekdays and weekends frequently change, and that is also true of each of the other three domains. The key to effectively responding to these changes is to think and feel one's way through a four-step process.

Of course, Friedman is fully aware of this. In fact, in the final chapter, he observes that total leadership "doesn't end with the implementation of your experiments. This is really just the beginning. Being a better leader and having a richer life is an ongoing search, which I hope you will be on for the rest of your life. As long as you continue practicing authenticity, integrity, and creativity, you will increase your chances of scoring four-way wins - performing better and finding satisfaction in your various domains."

I presume to conclude this review with a personal note: After reading Friedman's book and before composing this review, I read The Last Lecture in which Randy Pausch (age 46) shares his thoughts and feelings as he awaits imminent death from pancreatic cancer. Actually, "awaits" is not the correct word because Pausch does everything he can to leave no "IOUs" behind for his beloved wife ("the woman of his dreams"), their three young children, other family members, friends, and associates. In his last lecture to his students at Carnegie-Mellon, he provides a "distillation" of how he felt about the end of his life. "It's not about how you achieve your dreams. It's about how you lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you." In my opinion, this is precisely the same message that Stewart Friedman communicates to his own students as they prepare for a career in business. The "total leader" is first and foremost a total person.
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e350270) out of 5 stars Useful for leadership trainers Jan. 22 2009
By Robert Selden - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
As the jacket cover explains Total Leadership is "adapted from author Stew Friedman's popular Wharton School course". I found that to be both the strength and weakness of this book. Friedman's core concept of identifying one's values and then using these to improve your leadership in four areas (domains as he calls them) is simple, yet brilliant.

Unlike so many other leadership books, this is not a book about what makes a great leader. This is a book about finding out what makes you a great leader. A very worthy and ultimately practical, pursuit.

Through a series of activities, Friedman encourages the reader to analyse one's leadership activities in terms of the key stakeholders - work, home, community and self. A simple process of drawing four circles to represent the current strength and interaction within these four stakeholder domains and then redrawing then to represent a better balance, gives the reader the basis of a leadership vision.

A well designed series of simple, yet effective activities, takes the reader on his or her leadership journey. Very easy to follow and to implement.

It's obvious that the book has been developed from a successful course. It's always a big ask to do this well, as often some of the course's success comes through the personality of the presenter. Written in the first person, I found it a little verbose. For example the introduction went for 24 pages, which perhaps could have been handled in four. Friedman's style did not resonate with me - perhaps he would be totally different in person. I also found some little annoying things such as constant use of the term "Total Leadership participants". Having mentioned this once, they could have just been referred to as "participants" thereafter.

I appreciate how difficult it is to translate a workshop into a book - the book can either become too mechanical or too wordy. For me, "Total Leadership" was the latter.

However, this should not take away from the excellent core content and learning process. For trainers involved in leadership development and career planning, this could be a great resource.

Bob Selden,
Author, What To Do When You Become The Boss: How new managers become successful managers
13 of 16 people found the following review helpful
HASH(0x9e350564) out of 5 stars Borrow it - not for everyone March 20 2011
By GoStanford - Published on Amazon.com
Format: Hardcover
I read about this book in a newspaper article, and was impressed by the favorable reviews here on amazon.com. After receiving my copy and browsing through it, I honestly don't see what all the fuss is about. Maybe I am not the B-school type. OK, I know I'm not the B-school type. But I have a Ph.D. from the University of Pennsylvania, where the good Dr. Friedman is on faculty at the Wharton School. I am an analytical person and aware of my shortcomings and my long-term goals. If you are a self-aware person, you do not need this book unless you are specifically interested in Dr. Friedman's techniques for achieving total leadership. The concepts of work/family/community/self and approaching stakeholders are important ones, but after a while, all the sample writeups (names changed for anonymity) read the same.

I fully support Dr. Friedman's intent and I like his idea that achieving total leadership is not the same as finding a work-life balance, as the latter implies compromise and finite resources to be split into one of two realms.

I purchased my copy as an amazon.com used book, and it was inscribed To Jayne, From Stew. Apparently Jayne didn't find it a keeper either.


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