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What He Must Be: ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Paperback – Jan 30 2009

4.8 out of 5 stars 5 customer reviews

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 216 pages
  • Publisher: Crossway (Jan. 30 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1581349300
  • ISBN-13: 978-1581349306
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 1.2 x 22.9 cm
  • Shipping Weight: 363 g
  • Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars 5 customer reviews
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #113,598 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product Description

About the Author

Voddie Baucham Jr. (DMin, Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary) is dean of the seminary at African Christian University in Lusaka, Zambia. Author of a number of books, including Family Driven Faith, The Ever-Loving Truth, and Joseph and the Gospel of Many Colors, Baucham is also a pastor, church planter, and conference speaker.

Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

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Voddie Baucham has written a book that shows his deep concern for biblical truth and for his own family. Using his own families failures as a backdrop for the need for this book, Pastor Voddie leads us through the process of helping our sons grow into men of God, prepared to lead a family in a sacrificial and loving way. Through this, he also demonstrates what young women should expect from men desiring to pursue them. Voddie is quite clear that it is not a father's place to arrange a marriage for his daughter. Statements like "I have no intention of picking Jasmine's husband for her. We do not advocate arranged marriages." make this more than clear. Yet, these statements do not release a father from his responsibility to walk through the process of finding a spouse with his daughter. I would best sum it up like this. A father's role is to rule out and chase away the bad choices for a husband, while raising his daughter to be an exemplary wife. Further, fathers should also mentor men towards becoming mature, selfless and faithful husbands, using the role of elder as a target for all men, whether they grow to be a husband for our daughter or not. All men should be taught to desire and strive after towards these qualities.

This is an extremely fast paced book. Pastor Voddie has a point to make, but he will not reitterate and restate the same thing over and over. At about 200 pages, this book by most authors would weigh in closer to 300. Read it slowly, with a highlighter. Read it to and with your family, especially your children. Don't rush through it and definitely do read it more than once.

I'm especially encouraged by the young men at our church who have read this book, and I feel both challenged and encouraged by what it says.
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Format: Paperback
I was a bit surprise when I received this book. I first saw the title - What He Must Be... If He Wants to Marry My Daughter - and laughed. You see my little girl is only 19 months right now. I thought it was funny because she was so young and far away from the dating/getting married years. But after I started the book, I realized that it wasn't only a book about what to look for in the young man who will catch her heart but also for us to train our own sons to become strong men of faith and loving husbands.
The major problem these days is that many people get married without taking the covenant seriously. And when we are not happy or just plain dissatisfied, we divorce and try to found someone else. The truth is nobody is perfect and we need to work at our marriage. I like the view of the author on the fact that marriage is a ministry and raising our children too - we need to instill in them a love for God and a willingness of seeking Him.
The author has definitively some interesting views but sometimes I feel as though it is just too much. For example, in the section where the guy must be a leader - I agree with the fact the ultimately the man should lead his family especially when important decision are made. Don't take me wrong, I think we as spouses can voice our concerns and thoughts about it but the final decision need to be made either both agree on it or if there is disagreement I think the man should listen to his spouse and then decide for the better or for the worse. However, when it concerns who should stay home and who should work - I don't think that only the guy should work and only the woman should stay home. We live in a time where anything could happen.
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Format: Paperback
Within the church a family reformation is taking place. Parents are turning away from the norms of our Western culture and seeking God's will in His word; turning away from cultural norms as standards for family structure and patterns and towards His ways. Voddie Baucham is amongst the leading teachers at the forefront of this revival. An excellent, literal exegete, he digs into scripture to uncover principles relating to the standards for Christian husbands and the methods we utilize to enter into the covenant of marriage in What He Must Be 'If He Wants to Marry My Daughter.

With three daughters under the age of six, many would find our family's passion for careful attention to the courtship process in our daughter's lives bizarre. However, we've been given a passion for guarding the hearts of our children, and doing our utmost to ensure that they marry qualified Christian young men. With growing numbers of families like ours in the church, Baucham has heeded the call and put pen to page to create far more than a simple checklist of 'what he must be'. Far more than a simplistic check-list that potential suitors must go through to achieve paternal approval, Baucham has written a mini-apologetic for marriage, biblical manhood, and yes ' courtship, within one accessible volume.

The stage is set in the initial chapters that lay out the multi-generational vision for Christian families who serve the Lord, the vital importance of covenant marriages, and the necessity for fathers to become involved in the courtships of their daughters. In this foundation Baucham rightly rejects outright the current practices of serial monogamy (dating), in order to protect and maintain purity of body and heart in our children.
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