Whose Child?: An Adoptee's Healing Journey from Relinquishment Through Reunion...and Beyond Paperback – Dec 2000
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A brave story--told with honesty, a remarkable memory and lots of feeling. A provocative work for all members of the adoption triad. -- Dorothea S. McArthur, Ph.D., adoptive mother, clinical psychologist and author of Birth of a Self in Adulthood
A must read for anyone whose life is touched by adoption. Whose Child? is a gut-wrenching story of Kasey's struggle... -- Joe Soll, CSW, DAPA, Psychotherapist and Author of Adoption Healing ...A Path to Recovery
A winner in the arena of adoption literature! Kasey Hamner, adoptee and author of Whose Child? describes herself as a "run-of-the-mill, garden variety adoptee," but her book is anything but run-of-the-mill. It is a frank, open account of her difficulties with relationships, self-esteem, and substances, and how her reunion with her birth family helped heal her wounds. It is well written and poignant in its honest story, which will help other adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents understand the complexities of the issues associated with adoption and the importance of reunion in the lives of adoptees. Finally, adoptees are writing their own stories! -- Nancy Verrier, M.F.T., adoptive mother and author of The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child
This is truly a 'must read' book for anyone that is part of the adoption triad. -- Julie Goldsmith, birthmother
Throughout Kasey Hamner's story of growing up adopted and her reunion, I felt a sense of connection to her and to my own personal adoption story. Kasey provides and extends a true sense of healing for other adoptees. Instead of dwelling on the past, Kasey made the choice to make something of her life. Her story is very brave and has such a wonderful healing spirit. -- Trish Lay, adoptee and director of the documentary, "No I'm Not, I'm Adopted."
Whose Child? is a must-read for all significant others of adoptees. -- Donald L. Cormier, significant other of an adoptee
Whose Child? is an important story, both delicate and powerful. This autobiography has a richness of detail and emotional poignancy that intrigues the reader. This book will inspire people who have undergone their own traumas to overcome their pain and partake of life as it is, rather than as it was. -- Sanford R. Weimer, M.D., M.P.H., psychiatrist
From the Author
I grew up in the Los Angeles area and now reside in La Crescenta, CA. I have a master of science degree in counseling and I am a practicing school psychologist and a licensed educational psychologist. I work with special needs children, many of whom have been abandoned in some way. I was adopted in the closed adoption system over 32 years ago and have been in reunion since 1994. I decided to write this book in order to promote my own healing and to help bring healing to all those touched by adoption.
Top Customer Reviews
Not every adoptee's story involves abuse. Even though I admit to not being able to imagine what the emotional consequences of such an experience can be, the emotional landscape is depicted with such clarity, that it was not difficult to either empathise or identify with many instances recounted in the book.
Reflections on one's own adoptive experience while reading the book is inevitable and Kasey Hamner's strength and courage in acknowledging the essential nature of her circumstances as they changed and evolved, are exemplary for anyone affected by adoption. "Whose Child?" is more than one person's story; it is a lesson in living life on life's terms, and speaks of an infinite grace in a willingness to accept and thereby, heal.
Once I had finished reading Whose Child, I mailed Kasey to thank her for having contributed a singularly important facet missing from the closure of my own adoptive experience: I wrote:
I received your books and have finished Whose Child? I found myself reflected in many of the pages and reading such an account of a life of pain has brought forward several questions, regarding my own journey... In as much as reading an account of someone else's pain can be pleasurable, I did enjoy the way you wrote it...
...Whose Child? has been a sincere lesson for me in fearlessness and I would like to thank you for that. It has given me unexpected insight and I am deeply appreciative of it...
Reading this book leaves much to admire.
It's hard to imagine, huh? But this is what happened to Kasey Hamner who wrote this beautiful, sad, and bold memoir about her life.
As a 35-year-old adoptee, currently 6 months into a reunion with my birthmother, I related on so many levels to Hamner's heartbreaking, and sometimes joyous, emotional experiences. While my childhood was different and my reunion experience has been different, I still share many of the fears, joys, highs and lows that she went through. I especially related to her constant fear of abandonment when it comes to men, family members as well as friends. I am also several years in recovery from drugs and alcohol and used them pretty much for the same reasons that she did...as a way to numb these fears and take me completely out of myself. I recommend this book to all members of the adoption triad (adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents). It's an emotionally powerful and insightful book which took a lot of courage to write. And her positive outlook and acceptance of "life on life's terms" is truly inspiring. I look forward to Hamner's next book (if it's not already out yet...I have to check). If I could give this book 6 stars, I would!
Although it is hard to disaggregate issues that stem from being adopted vs. issues that result from growing up in a dysfunctional family, Hamner continually reminds us of the core emotional experiences of the genealogically bewildered adoptee: depression; anxiety; fear; anger; guilt; and ubiquitous problems with relationships, intimacy, and trust.
I highly recommend this book to anyone touched by adoption, as well as to teachers, therapists, and pediatricians.
Most recent customer reviews
This book is not just about adoption. It is about overcoming incredible abuses, making a success of your life, and learning to love and let go. Read morePublished on May 30 2004 by Lindsay Gergon
I read this book in one afternoon. It is so easy to read and it defies you to put in down, so I didn't. Her story is both heartbreaking and wonderful. Read morePublished on Jan. 10 2004 by Freida Meyer
My name is Mandy, and i am a 15 year old in reunion with my real mom. This book that Kasey Hamner wrote was awesome. Read morePublished on May 19 2003 by Mandy
I kept hearing that people were unable to put this book down--most of these people were women. As a male adoptee I was fascinated by Kasey's story. Read morePublished on April 18 2003 by Samuel Christonn
I cannot believe how much I enjoyed this book. I am 19 years old and I am about to relinquish the child I am carrying. Read morePublished on Jan. 3 2003 by Cecilia Ford
I read "Adoption Forum" (see my review for that book)before this one, but I wish that I read "Whose Child?" first. Read morePublished on Nov. 6 2002 by Betty Folcon, M.S.
I started reading this book while I was reading another and I couldn't put this one down. I put the other book down instead! Read morePublished on April 13 2002 by Allison Bowman
Both the book and the courage it took for Kasey Hamner to write this book is incredible. No matter your position in the adoption triad you will benefit from her life story. Read morePublished on Dec 19 2001 by Amy L. Chenault