Wired For Intimacy Paperback – Illustrated, Dec 9 2009
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- Publisher : IVP Books; 1st edition (Dec 9 2009)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 216 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0830837000
- ISBN-13 : 978-0830837007
- Item weight : 227 g
- Dimensions : 16.76 x 1.52 x 20.93 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: #304,398 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
Fascinating and highly informative.--Luise Bolleber, ForeWord, January/February 2010
The chapter titled 'Your Brain on Porn' is one of the best explanations of how a person becomes addicted to the neurochemicals involved in love, romance, sexual arousal, and human touch. Wired for Intimacy is a valuable contribution to our field. (Given four out of five stars)--Mark R. Laaser, Christianity Today, March 2010
About the Author
Top reviews from Canada
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This book has christian values sewn through it, yet is broad enough on topic to appeal to the masses. If you happen to come across this book from a seeking for a “way out” of an addiction to pornography, believer or not, this book will inform you, relate to you and reveal what the framework for healthy sexuality is (with a biblical worldview).
With a simple read of a book the information is not too complex to understand, yet, bears a weight of the seriousness of porn and the misplacement of what porn really is and what role in plays in our mental, physical and spiritual lives.
The science in this book brings a sobering exposure that your brain, mainly mentioned; the male brain, is wired in such a way that there are processes/ neurological circuits that dictate behaviour, mood and general outcomes based on how you relate to porn.
I am by no means a reader, however, i consumed this book and flipped the pages feverently for the exposing science, the liberation and reminder of God and the Gospel with real practical applications makes this a go-to book for anyone who, on the spectrum of sexual struggle, wants to be rid of feelings of being trapped, ashamed, dirty, or just to know why what is working out is happening to them, then look no further than this book, a ~$15 you won’t regret spending.
It dose not shy away from the hard facts.
Best book I have read as I am trying to help my friend.
This book has guided me with Gods help to understand what sexual porn is.
A must read if you suffer from porn.
Cy of the North
Also, the chapters of the book do not seem to be interrelated. Reading it felt more like reading 8 separated essays than reading a book.
I am very disappointed with the book and I would not recommend it.
Struthers frequently asserts his views with just a cursory explanation of why he thinks what he does. Those who don't agree or who want more evidence may be frustrated. This is just a 200 page overview of the subject however. With all things considered, this book accomplishes what it sets out to do - get us to see porn as serious and give us some helpful ideas for how to deal with it.
Top reviews from other countries
Wired for Intimacy is a match of three halves - part one dealing with mainly religious objections to porn. Here there are many of the usual Christian arguments which I am largely sympathetic to, but are already well worn in other earlier works. The problem lies in Struther’s tendency to the “corrupt”, “degrading” “distorted” type of vocabulary heavy on the guilt and shame. This is unfortunate if his aim is to help those in trouble as simply telling users they are engaging in degraded behaviour and should do something about it does absolutely no good - they already think that. Cruise the nofap community if you doubt it.
Then the middle section deals with the brain science with some useful material - though much better explained by Wilson (see above) and lots of complex and largely irrelevant description of bits of the brain that aren’t fundamental to the addiction process. In this section he tells us that persistent pornography use deepens pathways in the brain under the influence of the reward circuit but does little to advise on how to eradicate these habitual paths. In fact, under the excuse of “not reinventing the wheel” readers are simply redirected to a bunch of existing counselling and therapy resources. This completely misses the point. If Wired for Intimacy has something new to say the whole benefit should be to apply this new perspective to understanding and addressing the problem - which he completely fails to do.
Finally we get a large chunk on what proper godly masculinity really is - or should be according to Struthers. As above, this is probably very worthy but really beside the point. If you already have a Christian outlook this is unnecessary and if you don’t then you won’t find it convincing. Much better to subscribe to the Good Men Project and see how guys (some from a Christian perspective but most not) are really grappling with the issues.
In general - despite much academic referencing - Wired for Intimacy is also far too based on the power of repeated assertion and generalisation rather than detailed argument and referencing the experience of actual addicts - both still struggling and those in recovery.
So why three stars? Basically because it’s at least an attempt to tackle the issue which is still to be applauded. Gary Wilson makes the case that we are involved in maybe the greatest unregulated social behavioural experiment of all time in terms of the number and age of porn users and the uniquely new phenomenon of high speed internet porn.
Evangelical Christian believers need to find a voice on the subject - but sadly this isn’t it.
Simplistic and boring introduction to the subject.