- Paperback: 352 pages
- Publisher: Touchstone; Revised edition (May 5 2009)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 1416596070
- ISBN-13: 978-1416596073
- Product Dimensions: 14 x 2.3 x 21.4 cm
- Shipping Weight: 295 g
- Average Customer Review: 1 customer review
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #891,709 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
You're On Your Own (But I'm Here If You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years Paperback – May 5 2009
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From Publishers Weekly
Savage, who has worked with parents and students at the University of Minnesota for a decade (she's now the director of its parent-liaison program), addresses the sometimes tough issues facing parents and their college-age kids, as the latter seek independence (but still rely on counsel from Mom and Dad) and the former try to figure out just how involved they should be in Jr.'s undergraduate experience. In 12 chapters that span the summer before college, the culture shock of school (and the corresponding empty-nest shake-up for parents), the freshman 15, course loads, extracurricular activities, risky or defiant behaviors and life beyond the BA, Savage gives parents clear and seasoned advice-and offers tips for students as well. Illustrating her points through anecdotes, charts and bullet-pointed lists, she crafts a readable, if sometimes very commonsensical, guide to establishing the right level of parental involvement. For nervous parents, this should be a reassuring and helpful book.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Based on 10 years of experience working as a liaison between parents and the University of Minnesota, Savage offers sound advice on how parents can balance their continued involvement and their college student's need for independence. She notes that technology has helped to maintain contact between parents and students, but what hasn't changed are issues of how much autonomy to grant, when to let go, and when and how to help as the parent-child relationship is redefined. Savage offers strategies for everything from dealing with complaints about the food, to resisting the temptation to decorate the dorm room, to monitoring students' health, and teaching them to take responsibility for their finances. Savage includes anecdotes and advice from parents and university staff members on how to equip students on their journey toward their degrees and how to measure the campus social scene against the family's values. Parents with children in college or headed to college will appreciate Savage's support and advice. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Top customer reviews
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
I'm sure that I am not the only parent who struggles with finding the balance between 'letting go' vs 'assisting' as your kids grow up. It's a different age than when I went to university. Then, parents were not as involved as today. I can't recall my parents helping me to decide on residences or meal plans (well, they didn't have those then) or courses, or even for that matter driving the six hour drive to visit me except to drop me off my first year and come to my graduation my last year. But, as I said earlier, it's a different age and kids today involve their parents much more in their lives.
Thus learning to promote self-advocacy, encourage independence and empower your kids while supporting them through the challenges they will face as they move to adulthood is vital. This book offers suggestions on how exactly to do this. By explaining both parent and student perspective on every challenge and issue you can imagine from the summer before university right through to graduation, the book gave me a very good feel for how to prepare my son and myself.
The book begins with what to expect the summer before university and then continues to cover topics such as how to offer support to your kid for their first few weeks, financial problems, physical and emotional health issues, visits home, substance abuse, and much more. Each chapter touches on a topic, offers advice and helpful hints, illustrates with stories, and ends with quick tips for students that parents can quickly discuss.
I believe that reading this book will help me communicate with my son in a more effective non-threatening way than I would have had I not read the book. There is even an appendix with a detailed budget and summary of the four years.
This book is the perfect tool to learn how to support and assist without becoming a "helicopter parent".
I've found it to be full of mostly common sense stuff. You won't gain any knowledge beyond that from this book.