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Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger Paperback – May 21 2019
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NPR * The Washington Post * Book Riot * Autostraddle * Psychology Today
***A BEST FEMINIST BOOK SELECTION***
Refinery 29, Book Riot, Autostraddle, BITCH
Rage Becomes Her is an “utterly eye opening” (Bustle) book that gives voice to the causes, expressions, and possibilities of female rage.
As women, we’ve been urged for so long to bottle up our anger, letting it corrode our bodies and minds in ways we don’t even realize. Yet there are so, so many legitimate reasons for us to feel angry, ranging from blatant, horrifying acts of misogyny to the subtle drip, drip drip of daily sexism that reinforces the absurdly damaging gender norms of our society.
In Rage Becomes Her, Soraya Chemaly argues that our anger is not only justified, it is also an active part of the solution. We are so often encouraged to resist our rage or punished for justifiably expressing it, yet how many remarkable achievements would never have gotten off the ground without the kernel of anger that fueled them? Approached with conscious intention, anger is a vital instrument, a radar for injustice and a catalyst for change. On the flip side, the societal and cultural belittlement of our anger is a cunning way of limiting and controlling our power—one we can no longer abide.
“A work of great spirit and verve” (Time), Rage Becomes Her is a validating, energizing read that will change the way you interact with the world around you.
- Print length416 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- Publication dateMay 21 2019
- Dimensions13.97 x 2.64 x 21.27 cm
- ISBN-101501189565
- ISBN-13978-1501189562
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Review
“In this powerful essay collection, Chemaly draws on interviews, research, and personal experience to examine why patriarchal Western cultures continue to demand that women silence their rage …Intelligent and keenly observed, this is a bracingly liberating call for the right of women to own their anger and use it to benefit a society ‘at risk for authoritarianism.’ Important, timely, necessary reading.” —Kirkus (starred review)
“How many women cry when angry because we've held it in for so long? How many discover that anger turned inward is depression? Soraya Chemaly’s Rage Becomes Her will be good for women, and for the future of this country. After all, women have a lot to be angry about.”
—Gloria Steinem
"[A] thoughtful, in-depth exploration of female rage...An essential and timely read...Invaluable and eye-opening. "
—Booklist (starred review)
"Rage is a battle-cry of a book, drawing on all corner of contemporary life, from media to education and medicine. She takes the reader through a woman’s life, from infancy to adulthood, highlighting the systemic ways female rage is suppressed, diverted or minimalised. And she provides scientific evidence to back up her ideas. If life as a modern woman is maddening, then Rage is a sanity-restorer."
—The Guardian
"This explosive, vital and unapologetic book lifts the lid on a hugely important but little-discussed aspect of gender inequality. With skill, wit and sharp insight, Chemaly peels back layers of cultural norms and repression to lay bare the reality of women's rage. She joins the dots to trace the connections between misogyny, violence and the repression of female anger. She weaves a path that takes us from pornography to the playground, media to medicine. This book should make you furious. It is a battle cry for women's right to rage: teaching us that we have every right to be angry, and demanding that the world pays attention to that anger."
—Laura Bates, author of Girl Up and Everyday Sexism
“If you think Senator Warren persisted, meet Soraya Chemaly and her latest book, Rage Becomes Her…Men should read the book and the women in their lives must insist that they do so…Chemaly’s book is giving voice to how women’s voices have been suppressed. This book needs to be read.”
—New York Journal of Books
“A timely, politically charged account of what it means to be an American woman today... For feminists, sociologists, and politically involved readers.”
—Library Journal
“At this moment in history, when women's anger is at boiling point, this text could not be more timely. Or, more needed.”
—Mashable
“In this breathtakingly (or maybe I should say breathgivingly…because it will literally make you feel like you can breathe again) liberating book, Soraya Chemaly breaks down the myriad ways that women are silenced, ignored, disrespected, dehumanized, and generally spat upon by the patriarchy…It’s one of the best feminist books I’ve ever read and the first I will recommend the next time someone asks me why I’m a feminist."
—BookRiot
“Chemaly distills years of award-winning work in writing and activism into a single profound volume on women’s rage and the complex systems of social control that silence the rage of women and weaponize the rage of men.”
—Electric Literature
“Chemaly writes about injustice with vigor and flair, sharing her experiences as both a woman and the mother of daughters. She supports her conclusions with grim studies, most of them dispiritingly recent. ‘Is it possible to read a book about anger and not get mad?’ she asks at one point. Not if it's Rage Becomes Her. But as Chemaly shows, that's a good reason to read it."
—Shelf Awareness
“At this moment in history, when women's anger is at boiling point, this text could not be more timely. Or, more needed.”
—Mashable
"Chemaly . . . writes with clear-eyed conviction.”
—BookPage
“A necessary delve into a heated subject, Rage Becomes Her challenges the all-too-common perception of having an anger “problem,” and works to demystify women's anger, transforming the difficult emotion into one that’s as coveted as happiness.”
—BUST Magazine
"Provocative... In Rage Becomes Her, Chemelay uses scientific research, in-depth interviews, and personal experiences to investigate why cultures around the world expect and even force women to keep their anger silent and their rage hidden. But more than that, she makes a case for why that pattern finally needs to be broken."
—Bustle
"Chemaly’s collection of essays, shaped by research and personal experience... shows us how anger is truly one of our most potent resources for changing the world.
—SHONDALAND
"[A] provocative analysis… Calling for a ‘wise anger’ that can dismantle pervasive sexism and create a fundamentally democratic society, the book makes a persuasive case that angry women can achieve, not vengeance, but change."
—Publishers Weekly
"Women’s anger is the last taboo. In this provocative examination of the forbidden, hidden emotion, Soraya Chemaly asks ‘What do we lose, personally and as a society, by not listening to women’s anger or respecting it?’ Answer: the true voice of half of humanity. If you want to understand why #Metoo has swept the country, you need to read this book."
—Katha Pollitt, poet and columnist, author of Learning To Drive
“Soraya Chemaly turns her rigorous compassion, scrupulous fairness, and microscopically sharp clarity of thought on our culture’s forced suppression of female anger…Our world will never be the same. And, yes, that’s a threat.”
—Lindy West, New York Times bestselling author of Shrill
"Soraya Chemaly issues a powerful clarion call to women to speak our truth and own our righteous anger during a time when nothing less than our rage will set us free."
—Jamia Wilson, Executive Director and Publisher, The Feminist Press
“With every chapter I felt more power flooding in where fear and shame once were. This is a book that could change your life, and the world.”
—Jaclyn Friedman, author of Unscrewed
"Men should read this book to understand women; women should read this book to understand themselves. Rage Becomes Her could save your life."
—Robin Morgan, author
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
Product details
- Publisher : Atria Books; Reprint edition (May 21 2019)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 416 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1501189565
- ISBN-13 : 978-1501189562
- Item weight : 318 g
- Dimensions : 13.97 x 2.64 x 21.27 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: #59,679 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #134 in Feminist Theory (Books)
- #231 in Popular Culture in Social Sciences
- #252 in Emotions (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Soraya Chemaly is an American writer and activist whose work focuses on the role of gender in politics, religion, education, tech, and media. A 2016 Mirror Award Winner, her work appears in a wide range of publications including TIME, The Guardian, The Nation, Huffington Post, Verge, Quartz, The Atlantic and The New Statesman. Chemaly is also involved with multiple anti-violence and media equity organizations dedicated to expanding women’s freedom of expression and public parity. She has been named by Elle Magazine, The Telegraph, and Fast Company as among the most inspiring women to follow in social media and the co-winner of a 2017 Newhouse Mirror Award for Best Single Story. You can find her on Twitter @schemaly.
Customer reviews
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Top reviews from Canada
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It spoke so deeply to the frustration and of course anger that I have experienced growing up. It released something inside, and it put to ease immediately a burning rage that many of us have felt but not had the freedom to acknowledge.
I can't wait to read the rest, having just received the hard copy in the post.
Looks cool
Why are men allowed to be angry, yet an angry women is called a raging lunatic? A bitch? A hormonal person? Unhinged?
What good can, and DOES, come from women’s anger? How does it lead to positive changes in our lives, families, society, government?
Rage becomes her. As women we need to accept our rage and anger as acceptable emotions.
There’s so much more I could say. Our world is so incredibly sexist to its core. Us, women, have every right to rage and be angry at our patriarchal society. At the gender pay gap. At the unpaid labour we women have to do. At the emotional load due to our gender. At the lack of resources to help women. At the unconscious sexism in all of us. At the frequent harassment women face? And more.
What will change if we remain nice and meek, smiling and cheerful, calm and subdued? Nothing. NOTHING. Embrace the entirety of our being as women, including rage.
Top reviews from other countries
And I was already angry.
"Anger has a bad rap, but it is actually one of the most hopeful and forward thinking of all our emotions. It begets transformation, manifesting our passion and keeping us invested in the world. It is a rational and emotional response to trespass, violation, and moral disorder. It bridges the divide between what 'is' and what 'ought' to be, between a difficult past and an improved possibility. Anger warns us viscerally of violation, threat, and insult."
Women are continually attacked - sexually, via medical professionals who don't LISTEN to us, by being paid less in the workplace, by taken less seriously... Everywhere.
"When a man becomes angry in an argument or debate, people are more likely to abandon their own positions and defer to his. But when a woman acts the same way, she’s likely to elicit the opposite response."
"Girls, admonished to use 'nicer' voices three times more often than boys are, learn to prioritize the needs and feelings of people around them; often this means ignoring their own discomfort, resentment, or anger."
This exhaustively documented work looks at many different viewpoints, from Rosa Parks, who said she wasn't especially tired that day, just tired of being treated as lesser (i.e. ANGRY) to Tarana Burke and the #MeToo movement, to the ways racism and ableism impacts misogyny. It and takes on the many different angles from which women are silenced, told to be nice, from in-your-face rape and death threats, to benevolent sexism. We are supposed to be GOOD victims, not angry and standing up for ourselves. (Even though women who buy into benevolent sexism, in the name of "being protected," are still raped, abused, killed.)
It's not an easy read - if you can read it without getting rage-filled, on behalf of yourself and your sisters, or on behalf of women that you love... Please stay far away from actual living women.
"In the coming years, we will hear, again, that anger is a destructive force, to be controlled. Watch carefully, because not everyone is asked to do this in equal measure. Women, especially, will be told to set our anger aside in favor of a kinder, gentler approach to change."
No, I won't. How about you?
What a relief to read the stories women turning anger into constructive action! I has helped me channel some of mine, even in the last 48 hours - in between reading this book.
Like most women, I have my own story of how my mom's frustrations, as well my grandmother and great-grandmother's have influenced me. My mom did her share in conscious feminism, but each generation can only do so much and I did internalize some of the anger-management patterns of patriarchy. If I may coin a phrase.
Such a relief to read this book - just at a time when learning to channel my own anger is getting higher on my agenda. Catering to men is ingrained in me, as it is in many women. Seeing just how destructive that can be (encouraging men to be worse than they'd be if I weren't catering to them) has made me realize just how important it is that I learn to stand in my own truth and act on it. That includes dealing with anger. But how? This book isn't written as a self-help book, but because it includes minority voices, it does help make it very clear what the trade-offs are. It also offers some suggestions.
Anyhow: surprisingly fun and inspiring. A must read for all smart but demure women trying to survive in a man's world. Also for those that chose not to be good girls and need some help justifying themselves ;)
Some details:
* For international readers: this is very much a US-focused book, though not exclusively as the author has an international background and does reference international studies. While I recognized a lot, I also read about things that don't resonate at all. Either because as a non-minority woman from a privileged background I haven't been exposed to them, or because the Netherlands just aren't quite as sexist as the US. Or less violent about it. I'm not sure.
* It seems I'm the first one here to review this book based on a bought copy. in response to previous reviewers, I can report that notes & index take up 60% of the kindle file. Source references are available organised by chapter, which is good enough for a book like this which is more activism than academia.






