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Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot
DVD ~ Sylvester Stallone
Offered by importcds__
Price: CDN$ 6.67
22 used & new from CDN$ 6.66

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A classic that excretes patriotism from every orifice, May 21 2004
This review is from: Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (DVD)
In an era inspired by the likes of Pat Tillman, John McCain and Ryan Seacrest, Sylvester Stallone's 1992 Gulf War opus "Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot!" is still as powerful during today's troubled global situation as it was during the senior Bush's initial campaign to liberate the noble god-fearing folks of Kuwait.
Inspired by her son's decision to enlist in the military to eliminate the obvious nuclear threat residing in Iraq, Tutti Bomowski (Estelle Getty) decides to re-enlist herself. Having been the first female Navy Seal in U.S. history, and a decorated war hero in Korea, the one condition of her military service is to be assigned to the same elite fighting squadron as her son Joe (Stallone). Their top-secret operation carries them right into the fringes of Baghdad where they uncover Saddam's diabolical plan to blow up the ocean. Despite their combined lethal skills, one of them won't make it out alive.
Teeming with realistic wartime violence, this is not everyone's cup of tea. However, if you're a fan of Sam Peckinpah's bloody cinematic ballet, you will find much to appreciate in Stallone's work. In fact, as a moving tribute to the motherly tone of this epic, Stallone was assisted by Peckinpah's 93-year old mother Myrtle in helping choreograph many of the action sequences, most notably the legendary bungee-jumping battle scenes.
Sly showed that he's a master of many crafts in "Stop! or My Mom Will Shoot!" Not only did he write, produce, direct, and star in this film, but he also wrote and performed the amazing musical score as well. "Over The Top" and "Cobra" may have introduced the world to the possible talents that Stallone possesses, but it was this film that truly made him a legend that will live on for several weeks to come.

Suburban Commando [Import]
Suburban Commando [Import]
DVD ~ Hulk Hogan
Offered by S N A P Media
Price: CDN$ 62.48
11 used & new from CDN$ 20.22

5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant social commentary on the price of suburban ennui, April 2 2004
This review is from: Suburban Commando [Import] (DVD)
Strasbourg-trained method actor Hulk Hogan shines in this brutally honest adaptation of David Mamet's play "Suburban Commando." More allegory than call to arms, this film explores the dangerous price of middle-class banality in much the same way as "Falling Down."
Charlie Wilcox (Christopher Lloyd) is a middle-aged mortgage broker who is truly stuck in a life void of living. His marriage to wife Jenny (Shelly Duvall looking creepier than ever) lovelessly goes through the motions. Family life for Charlie isn't much better as his dropout son sells MDMA out of his Camaro, and his daughter drunkenly sleeps with everyone at her high school. Charlie's neighbors have killed the Wilcox family dog as vengeance for waking them up with the lawnmower too early one Saturday morning. Charlie has wild dreams of his lone male encounter in college. Life is a wreck of night sweats, confusion, regret, hatred, pills, and alcohol.
Perusing the "Men Seeking Men" section of the local weekly for the first time one afternoon, Charlie's fortune takes a sudden turn. He works up the nerve to call an ad promising "one cocky muscle boy and elderly gimp" who will deliver "better than any maleman." Charlie meets Shep Ramsey (Hogan) and Colonel Dusty (Jack Elam in the role that defines his career) at a local tavern and baits his new pals on his plan of suburban destruction with ecstacy stolen from his son. The hit list first comes to Charlie and crew as his Glock-packing son tracks down his stolen goods only to meet his doom from Shep's wet-hot rippling muscles. Soon everyone in Charlie's life is at risk, even Charlie himself. The action pumps up furiously to an explosive climax that you'll want to watch again and again.
Hogan went on to do some amazing work in "Mr. Nanny" (which garnered an Oscar nomination) and "Santa With Muscles," but it was "Suburban Commando" that really earned his star on the Hollywood Walk. His performance here drips with the kind of homoerotic sizzle that has defined his career in the ring as well as on stage and film. Highly recommended.
Five stars.

God Bless the U.S.A.: The Best of Lee Greenwood
God Bless the U.S.A.: The Best of Lee Greenwood
Price: CDN$ 18.53
17 used & new from CDN$ 1.31

5.0 out of 5 stars Timeless and inspiring, Jan. 30 2004
I'm a proud American and I love this man and this record, but not like the love that a man gives a woman kind of way, just in a really really like kind of way, like when someone says "I love pizza."
I proudly served our nation for 12 of the toughest, roughest, and most rewarding years of my life. A tear still comes to my eye when I hear "God Bless The U.S.A." as I think about my days of being a Coast Guard barber, and how I once almost lost a thumb when whacking off the mullet of a rather fidgety greenhorn. And, yes, back in my reckless days of youth, I'd sometimes touch myself, you know, down there, so when I hear "Touch and Go Crazy" I'm reminded that petting the anaconda will only lead to the asylum. Lee Greenwood not only knows how to get a patriotic rise out of me, he also understands how to stifle another kind of rise.
If you don't have this already, get it. If you don't want it, then beat it. America doesn't need you.

The Very Best Of
The Very Best Of
Price: CDN$ 18.49
33 used & new from CDN$ 6.35

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars There truly is no God, Dec 30 2003
This review is from: The Very Best Of (Audio CD)
OK, understand this, Winger is without a doubt my favorite band in the history of time and space. So, why the one star Johnny, huh? Why you gotta be that way? Well, fellow Wingerphiles, there is one horrific injustice that I simply cannot tolerate when reviewing this album: "Without The Night" --not just Winger's finest moment but the best song EVER -- has been unfairly omitted from this compilation. The "Very Best of Winger"? Hardly. This is an outrage.
Merriam-Webster defines "best" as "excelling all others." Think about this. To have a very best, which Merriam-Webster defines as meaning "absolute" or "utter," you'd think that the best song in history would be there. No. Not here. I'm pointing an accusing finger at you Mr. Record Executive for ignoring greatness with your omission.
Want more proof? "I remember you used to say, how much you've been through/And laugh how easy the pain can break your heart in two." Laughter and pain co-existing melodically in the same line? If John Keats and Walt Whitman weren't so dead they'd both be out of poet jobs right about now. Besides, that rhymes and you know it does.
If you're reading this Mr. Record Executive man, then you surely have received several angry letters from yours truly. I stick by my word. If you're ever in Tupelo, buddy, it's go time.

Offered by USA_Seller_4_Canada
Price: CDN$ 314.22
3 used & new from CDN$ 117.71

5.0 out of 5 stars A Rock and Roll Inferno!, Dec 30 2003
This review is from: Stage (Audio CD)
Blazing hot set from fiery rock heroes Great White. This live disc captures Great White at their blistering best from 1996 concerts in Hot Springs AR, Asheville NC, and Firestone CO. Jack and the boys ignite the crowd with their own special fuel of raging blues rock fury. Bask in the glow as Great White shoots off sparks with such classic hits as "Face the Day," "Train to Nowhere", and of course "Once Bitten Twice Shy." They also stoke the fires of Led Zeppelin's genius with "Babe I'm Gonna Leave You." Sizzling from start to finish, this one will leave you screaming for more!

Ants in my Pants
Ants in my Pants
by Wendy Mould
Edition: Hardcover
23 used & new from CDN$ 0.01

5.0 out of 5 stars Godless descent into madness, July 14 2003
This review is from: Ants in my Pants (Hardcover)
Riveting. Mould has set the bar for psychological thrillers at a new level with this mesmerizing work exploring one man's struggles with the spiritual world and ultimately his own sanity.
The reader finds the antihero Jacob already three steps too close to the edge. He sits cross-legged on the filthy hardwood floors of his Glasgow studio apartment in only his underwear as he scribbles the sentence "Will the fight for our sanity be the fight for our lives now that we've lost all the reasons that we had?" This idle time is indeed the devil's workshop and our introduction to Jacob is an introduction to a man already in Hell. However, this barely scratches the surface as this descent is only making a brief stop on it's way down.
When a phone call from his mother ends abruptly in a disconnect caused by the blizzard roaring through the city, Jacob's troubled outlook begins to focus on his smallness in the physical world. He feels every eye of a spider in a corner of his ceiling burn mortal holes through him as the walls seemingly begin to shrink all around him. Jacob sees ants in his pants. Jacob sees geese in his fleece. Jacob sees a fox in his socks. Jacob sees a cyclops in his hightops. Jacob sees a nun waving a gun. Jacob sees a goat gnawing at his throat. God's natural world has no place for Jacob, and surely this could be his time.
Wendy Mould's prose and brilliantly haunting rhyming motif are what make this such an impressive work. There may not be anything that rhymes with orange, but I certainly didn't think that there were words -- let alone the names of animals and biblical characters -- that would so ominously and appropriately rhyme with cumberbund, cerebellum, leg warmers, or taint among others. With it's hefty 1200 plus pages, this is a "Ulysses"-sized journey. Take it.
Five stars.

You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?!: A Self-help Book for Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder
by Kate Kelly
Edition: Paperback
41 used & new from CDN$ 1.09

0 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Loses steam, July 14 2003
The part of this book that I didn't skip or just ignore were really helpful. It starts out great, but it really slows down. Would it kill the authors to maybe get some pictures in there? The part where it really starts to grind to a halt is right around when "The Simpsons" marathon started. Bad timing for this book, that much I can tell you for sure, but I guess the authors couldn't have known that it would be coming on that night or that I'd be trying to read their book. I pretty much put the book down right there. By the time the episode where Homer and Barney go to the Duff Brewery started, I was not only completely over this book, but I was also over the fact that the marathon started with the notoriously weak episode where the Simpsons go to Brazil. That was a bad episode and I give it two stars.

Am I Big or Little?
Am I Big or Little?
by Margaret Park Bridges
Edition: Hardcover
16 used & new from CDN$ 0.96

5.0 out of 5 stars Haunting, Nov. 14 2001
This review is from: Am I Big or Little? (Hardcover)
Written over the course of one night under a reportedly chemical-induced trance with Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit" as aural accompaniment, Margaret Park Bridges put the psychedelic literature world on it's gnawed-off ear when her visionary "Am I Big or Little?" hit the bookshelves. Basic in it's premise yet terrifying in it's deeper complexities, Bridges posits bold existential questions rooted soundly in everyday conventions.
Scholars have noted the link between "Am I Big or Little?" to both the works of Lewis Carroll and Samuel Taylor Coleridge's "Kubla Khan." These comparisons are futile, however, as the obvious chemical backdrop of these works bears little resemblance to Bridges' use of the chemical as explicit vehicle to increased mental scope. This is territory previously mined by Aldous Huxley in "The Doors of Perception." The proceedings aren't a hallucination per se. Rather, the hallucination is as much a character in this book as Icarus, Richard Nixon, Andre the Giant, and of course the still undead ghost of soccer great Pele. Plus, since we see the mother spike her own coffee and her daughter's Strawberry Quik long before her daughter's crazy straw find it's intended target, the reader knows that the story flow could lack convention once the deliciously sweet milk has been fully ingested. Particularly unnerving is the mother's first assessment of the girl's size: "You're bigger than a Glock 33 subcompact .357 pistol, but smaller than an LGM-118A Peacekeeper missile armed with 10 Avco MK 21 warheads,way way way smaller." Tracy Dockray's fascinating illustration on this page evokes both the mind-expanding comfort of the mushroom and the terrifying panic of the mushroom cloud. This is obviously material with some weight to it as I found out the first time I read it as a bedtime story to my suddenly very awake three and a half year-old son.
What is the message that Bridges is trying to convey in "Am I Big or Little?" It's impossible to say, and I would say that Bridges herself can't answer this question herself, nor would she want to. Read for yourself and to your young ones and establish scary new frontiers of knowledge and philosophy of your own.

God and Buddha : A Dialogue [Import]
God and Buddha : A Dialogue [Import]

5.0 out of 5 stars a dialogue worth listening to, Nov. 14 2001
This scintillating look into two of the biggest stars in modern day religion is "My Dinner With Andre" with even less pretense than it's predecessor. What comes out of these diners' mouths, particularly God's, matters in terms that cannot be taken for granted by any viewer anywhere in the world.
The dinner itself takes place at a nondescript Indian restaurant on Manhattan's Upper East Side, but really this is a dialogue that transcends time and place. This film could have even taken place at an Italian trattoria in NYC's Hell's Kitchen, for instance. Nevertheless, God and Prince Gautama Siddhartha, or "Buddha" as is his nickname, playfully pour over their existence, their followers, and the quirks of the natural world from the red vinyl booths of The Banyan Tree. All the while, baba ghanooj, lamb vindaloo, and a seemingly endless basket of naan are dutifully trotted out by their attentive waiter (Kurt Cobain in an uncredited role).
There are no sacred cows in their conversation. Buddha, for instance, sheepishly admits that there was indeed a Fifth Noble Truth that went even beyond his Fourth state of complete spiritual transcendence that he was going to call the "Infinity Plus One Nirvana" Truth before deciding to edit it out later. The embarrassed look on his face when God smugly utters "yeah, I knew that already" is one of the more delightful moments in the movie. Another key sequence provides the only true action of the movie. When Buddha claims that he truly "loves this lamb more than anything ever!", he soon finds himself choking before a perturbed God reluctantly gives him the Heimlich manuever. God caustically informs him that lamb that spicy will burn a earthly soul like his just as bad on the way out as it does on the way in. Some of the other topics that God and Buddha share their thoughts on include self-actualization, primal fear, and what ever happened to the cast of "The Facts of Life," particularly the mortal who played the role of Tootie. Fascinating material to be sure. Who picks up the tab might surprise some, but rest assured that neither party leaves The Banyan Tree with any trace of hunger or desire for greater material absorption. Then again, both sat down in exactly this same state.
Though the scene where God patronizingly toys with the wine steward (Jesus Christ) is somewhat unnecessary, this is still an extraordinary film, one that should be owned in order to gain a greater understanding of the cosmos. "God and Buddha: A Dialogue" is truly a landmark film and will have a lasting effect far greater than anything being Created in Hollywood today.

How the West Was Fun
How the West Was Fun
5 used & new from CDN$ 5.00

5.0 out of 5 stars Epic, Nov. 14 2001
This review is from: How the West Was Fun (VHS Tape)
Sweeping and majestic film that is not only a deeply personal commentary on the problems facing the contemporary American West, but it entertains like no other Western since "High Plains Muppet."
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen portray simple rancher folk in Brown Star, Wyoming. They're charming twins that have seen the land around them take a turn for the worst at the greedy hands of corrupt officials inside the local and national offices of the Interior and the Bureau of Land Management. Not only has the land around them changed dramatically in their lifetimes, but more importantly that helping hand from Uncle Sam seems bent on picking them up with one hand only to stab them in the back with the other. The Olsens are adorably wise to the government's shady dealings with big business in their backyard, and they would rather fight than flee. "How the West Was Fun" passionately traces their progression from simply precious right-minded citizens to lawless renegade darlings. The thrilling standoff in the film's final hour will make you think about the Waco tragedy and the Montana Freemen showdown in a whole new light.
Seamlessly woven into the fabric of this story are flashbacks to how things were once simpler on the Olsen ranch, when an honest and delightful rancher could live off the land without worrying about theme parks and nuclear missile silos interfering with the environment. John Sayles is once again at the top of his directorial game, and for once he has legitimate star power attracting a broader audience to his perpetually underappreciated craft. He has reportedly attracted Jaleel White (Urkel on TV's "Family Matters") for his next project based almost solely on this work, and what a work it is.
As the credits roll, the viewer can't help but shake the inspired irony of the title. The "fun" West was indeed the West of yesterday, of simpler times. However, when the cute as buttons twins are blinded by lawlessness at the film's climax, the crazed smiles on their once adorably heroic faces suggest that the fun is now nothing but mindless violence.
Five stars.

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