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4.2 out of 5 stars
4.2 out of 5 stars
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on February 26, 2013
If you have never read a sales book, then this book is an okay start. It also has some tips on "small talk" that are pretty decent, but you can get these tips for free from other various websites. Also, I feel that the other rambles a bit. I bet s/he could have written the same info in half the space. I'd buy Dale Carnegie and/or Jeffrey's Gitomer's The Little Red Salesbook instead.
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on December 8, 2003
There are a lot of books on theories and what you SHOULD DO, this book as well as "Talking the Winners Way" offers some REAL steps on how to communicate better! It gives you practical advice and doesn't bombard you with theories or idealism, but gets direct to the point about the behaviors that you have to exhibit and use in order to change your current communication style. What to change to be "better" at something? Get this book! I can not recommend it enough!
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on December 15, 2013
At last a book that is factual and provides page after page of good sound advice that you can use on a daily basis. It has common sense approaches that help you improve your communication during business meetings, one on one personal meetings and also how to talk to groups of people at parties. Yes. This book is worth the money and the five stars.
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on April 4, 2004
You will enjoy this book. I bought it on clearance at a book store and hoped it would be worth it for the plane ride. It has proved to be fantastic. I have never prided myself on being good at small talk or at introductions, but Lowndes gives you numerous practical tips which can be easily and immediately applied. Although many of these tactics are specifically meant for introductions and first impressions, they can also be used for daily contact with acquaintances and friends as well. (It also feels good to come across some of the tricks and know that you already have been doing that). Unless you live in a cave, you're conversations with others will be more valuable to you than money you use to get this book
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on August 3, 2010
Here is a great book which enables you to 'show others what they want to see'. I love the way the book is set out, and each idea is illustrated to perfection. I feel that, having these skills, the only important missing ingredient is personal congruence.

There are two ways to use this book: first, you can use the techniques to generate a manipulative facade, a lot of the ideas here could apply to a salesperson; second, you can use it to express a genuine attractive personality. People will eventually see through the former which gives only a short term gain, but in the case of the latter you will be more loved, valued and respected, greatly lifting your self-esteem for the rest of your life.

All the ideas are universal and would probably apply equally well to any nation in any language.

If I can be very British and quote Shakespeare, ' To thine own self be true'.
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on November 16, 2015
Whether you're attracted to someone, need to get ahead in business, or simply want to increase your friendships (face-to-face or online) this books carries a lot of advice. 92 examples to be exact. It guides you on how to start a conversation, the tempo you should use, reading non-verbal signs and all the suave techniques to mingle your way into a crowd of strangers. But does it work??

I love talking to people, and find it easy to handle conversations where the other person is interested in chatting as well. So I used some of the techniques to see if I could charm my way with the "introverts" at an artsy party.

First, I wore a very peculiar starfish pendant (the book advises us to wear something others can comment on.)
Avoided telling them exactly what I enjoy doing (the book says to clarify it in a sentence like "As a hobby I love to wander through many lives and loose myself in stories" -- instead of I read.)
Tried to include others in the conversation to get the motor running
Gave everyone a different special smile
Allowed for pauses
Laughed to put others at ease...

All in all it was a lot of effort, just to meet people who weren't all that interested in talking to begin with. Although, the book contains several good tips, my advise is to use them sporadically, and only when you are extremely interesting in getting to know someone.
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on December 9, 2003
I can't say enough about how this book has helped me in 2003. It has straightened me up and I'm flying right. Last week I received an award for "Most Improved" in community adjustment work I do at a hospital in New York. Reading the book only halfway through gave me the sense of direction and confidence I needed that I had to contact the author herself and thank her. You probably will too.
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on February 11, 2006
As a rather shy guy in his 20's who often faces difficulty initiating captivating conversations, I picked up this book hoping to learn a few fine tricks that would broaden my level of human understanding. Exceedingly good reader reviews admittedly produced high expectations, unfortunately only met with lukewarm results. It is not especially bad; just don't expect a complete makeover of your interactions with people, and be aware that it may apply to some people more than others.
The positive aspects:
- Concise, good to read in various small instalments and take time to reflect on the different techniques, appreciate them, and even make some real-life experiments in-between reading sessions. Easily discard the ones that don't make sense to your particular way of life.
- Contains some really good new ideas and excellent techniques that you can use to effectively communicate with people in various situations, things to keep in mind, blunders to avoid and good postures to adopt. One should not undermine the potential life-enhancing benefits of reading the few truly excellent gems.
- Several of these guidelines appear to be simple common sense if you have any perceptive amount of social experience, but it's appreciated to be reminded about these things by an external source to better grasp their implications.
- Some amusing anecdotes will make you laugh, such as the businesswoman's encounter with a group of potential Japanese partners.
The negative aspects:
- Early on, the tone gave me the impression of a much older, chiefly superficial woman, who does not fundamentally encourage having any sense of humour. She is also remarkably unforgiving in her judgement and did not appear sympathetic to me at all in the way she constantly refers to people as "big winners" and "little losers". That sentiment eventually diminished with time, though I could not help but still feel the writer did not specifically address people of my generation with the unimaginative humour and old-fashioned rationale. All of this is possibly better suited at people 40 and up, mostly businesspeople, which is a big letdown from my point of view.
- Suffers from a very average level of language for the most part, such as repeated attempts to break words down in syl-la-bles as an awkward and decidedly superfluous way to emphasise. Also plagued with too many expressions targeted at the lowest common denominator, particularly in the way she makes her "characters" talk.
- There is no scientific evidence to support most of the claims; it is all purely based on the author's personal experiences or deductions. Some statistics are unaccounted for, such as when she says you only need 50 new words in your vocabulary to make a remarkable difference, or that you get 80% of the right lingo and insider questions from just one exposure to any given field. Leil Lowndes even goes on to explain how Eve commanded Adam to eat the infamous apple with the power of language, which I found absurd.
- Most tips are given far too brief coverage and when it gets really interesting you are whisked away onto other subjects. I would have appreciated a lengthier study or more in-depth analysis of the human behaviours at work in these examples.
- A lot of it just didn't make sense to me, such as the notion that knowing a little bit of nothing about everything will get you anywhere (I believe people of any specific expertise will still be able to spot the uninitiated even if you know a handful of keywords pertaining to their precise industry or competence, which won't get you much further).
Overall, this book didn't impress me at all.
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on March 4, 2008
It gives you tips and tricks to break into a conversation with anyone. Once you read this book you will discover the possibilities. Highly recommended. This book is simple to understand and simple to perform.
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on October 27, 2015
These tips might be useful...for octogenarians. Kind of outdated frankly and not relevant for younger readers. I am not convinced that many of the author's suggested 'tricks' would work nowadays.
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