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on July 4, 2000
I just happened to stumble upon this book while looking for something to help me communicate better with my kids and I think I have hit the jackpot! Instead of just talking about and around each example the authors funnel their expertise into little cartoons that make it so easy to grasp the concepts. I can really see myself in each example speaking to my kids, and (yes, unfortunately) I am usually on the doing-it-wrong end of things. This book should really give me a lot of practical ways to relate to my children that are immediately usable.
Even after gaining the knowledge contained in this book I'm sure that the key is always being aware of what is happening so that you do not miss opportunities to use the techniques that you have learned. This awareness is probably attained only through consistent practice of the techniques themselves. The good news however, is that you will probably remember the little cartoons better than if you had simply read about something you were supposed to do in a certain situation.
While the book is aimed at the parent/child or teacher/child relationship, the concepts are easily transferrable to other social contexts such as supervisor/worker, boss/employee, etc. And don't stop there. The techniques do not have to be limited to non-peer relationships. They can be just as effectively applied to peer relationships as well. They basically cover good, PRACTICAL, communication techniques that are in essence universal. In my current guest relations job, I can immediately use many of the techniques. They involve denying yourself the satisfaction of talking down to another person, and trying to find another means to effectively commuicate without being condescending, which is so easy in the parent/child relationship.
Although there may be other fine books that also give great advice in this area, this book stands out in that the advice is perceived visually, and it is fun, which may make the information more retainable. A great book and easy to read.
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on February 16, 2000
This was a blessing to read! The book offers practical ways to create solutions for problems, how to listen, empathize, and better understand the person with whom you're speaking. As a teacher, I am able to apply this with students of ages ranging from 5 to 15 yrs old, and as a continuing student, I am able to apply communication techniques to others. The illustrations are especially helpful for "review" of the books main focus. This is a simple to read, easy to understand book, with efficient ways to apply knowledge towards MANY people, not only children. I recommend this book for anyone who has an interest in improving their communication skills, interpersonal relationships, and relationships with children. Husbands, wives, teachers, students, THIS BOOK WORKS when applied. I felt a sense of accomplishment and pride when I noticed myself referring to examples from the book, and you can, as well. It's definitely worth reading!
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on September 7, 1998
One of the best books around to help teachers communicate better with children. Even though I bought this to help my teaching, I don't know how I would have made it through the last few years with my three young children without this book. The skills presented in this very readable book are very useful for improving classroom management too and helping children that live with a lot of stress especially in the urban environment. The clear and compelling anecdotes bring Faber and Mazlich's ideas to life!
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on September 22, 2000
When I picked up this book in the library, I thought it would be just another PC approach to teaching. Instead, what I found was an insightful, well written book with ideas and techniques that I could put to work immediately. I've been teaching 8 and 9 year olds on a volunteer basis for 9 years, often feeling frustrated that I couldn't get through to them or motivate them. This book has given me a new approach that has already paid big dividends.
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on September 23, 2001
I loved this book. It goes along with "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk." In fact, the book uses the same formula and layout. The communication techniques are the same, with different examples which show how they can be used in a school setting. I found the cartoons really helpful and I liked all the great examples. I especially liked all the illustrative dialogues between the teachers in the book; the authors really take the time to explore all the criticisms of their approach and do a good job of refuting them.
The one thing the book doesn't do, because it is so focussed on communication, is really address specific school problems, like students who don't do homework. If that's what you're looking for, this book may not be enough, but the communication skills taught in it are still valuable as part of dealing with such issues. Thus, if you've read the first book you might find it repetitive. If you haven't, and you're a teacher, I'd suggest you buy this one instead.
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on April 1, 2004
Unless you are used to talking completely rationally for optimum results, this will aid you in how to confront students without putting them on the defensive. In his autobiography, Mussolini talks about how, during his childhood, he would often have rock fights with his classmates who didn't like him. They would go on to become friends afterwards, and the lesson is that childhood is filled with instances that may seem harsh but teach you something in the long run by overcoming them. This is what I learned growing up too, but growing up today is hard enough, so it is important to make students reasonably comfortable in their learning environment. In this instance, however accustomed you are to being "real" with your students, you need to back up a bit and realize that they are in a position where people are constantly asking them for a certain behavior (self-motivated and self-disciplined) so they assert their freedom in countereffective ways. When given appropriate choices they will usually choose a good one, but they need that control over their lives. (...)
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on May 18, 2004
Wow. This book made a lot of sense. What I like best is the layout. Not only does it practically apply theories (particularly those of Ginott), it tells you how to do so in a user-friendly way. There are checklists, comics, and even dialogues to help teachers (and parents too) see and understand how the techniques described by Faber and Mazlish work. The day care where I currently work uses extreme discipline techniques (and requires teachers to punish moreso than negotiate), so I have not been able to fully practice this method and really see whether or not it works in that setting. However, this book helped me look at children in a different way and respect them even more. The tips on parent-teacher conferences helped me successfully hold my first parent-teacher conference. I did use the method in a student conference with my CCD kids, and it helped me see all the children's point of views and understand the roots of the misbehavior (though we are currently still working on the issues, but the method has a long-term approach moreso than short-term one). Parents should pick up this book at a library and check it out. Teachers, read it and read it and read it some more (and highlight it like crazy)!
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on May 2, 2009
Great catch! I have purchased many books; paper format and audio. I have little time to read so I opted for audio. What a great idea! You can listen to part of it or the entire cd to refresh on ideas. A must have for parents who have spoken to their family doctor,have gone for individual therapy because your child has drove you to an extent of depression. You have searched far and wide for any source of direction and help. In despair? This book helps you change the vocabulary so you do not aggravate the situation. Filled with examples of what not to say and suggestions on how to rephrase in order to achieve what you expected of your child's behavior. Other books that are great is from George M. Kapalka. He has versions in English and French. For the francophones you have an extended library from Centre hospitalier universitaire Sainte-Justine one of which is L'agressivité chez l'enfant de 0 à 5 ans par Sylvie Bourcier.
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on April 26, 1998
We,parents are often overwhelmed with the responsibilites of raising the sweet things we call our children. We make it throught the strain of the sleepless years, the toddler tantrums, the preschool whys and then we realize we cannot dump our kids off in school and sigh with relief. We need to encourage life long learning. It will never end! Well, Faber and Mazlish continue to outline in this book, simple, sensible, aproaches to problemsolving and esteem building that will invigorate a child's desire to learn. This book is a continuation of How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Getting away from the fussing, fighting and ranting with children becomes so easy when following their direct and simple outlines of how to carry on discussion. By encouraging active listening, the heart plays a bigger role in interacting with children than the sometimes ranting mouth. I highly recommend it !
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on May 11, 2003
As a middle school 6th grade teacher, I experience the gamut of behavoir issues from too much chatting, to rudeness to the occasional pushing/fighting. I found myself reverting to what this book suggests you don't do (but most teachers do) and that is to constantly say "Don't" and "because I said so". While I control out of punishment and consequences, I was not feeling I was controlling out of respect. I was searching for a book that could help me, and came across this one. I liked the simple concepts. I liked the actual examples used of typical classroom issues. This book made me "think" about how I am coming across to my kids now and how I SHOULD come across. The only part of the book that left me wondering was 'how do teachers have time to implement this'. I wish the author could have addressed that issue more.
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