Top critical review
Cheap, Plotless Garbage but Keeps You Watching
on May 5, 2004
Class of 1999 is one of those movies that is so terrible you HAVE to watch until the end just to see how bad it can actually get. It takes place in, you guess it 1999. The film was made in 1990 when people thought 1999 would be like living on the moon. Gangbangers control the schools and the neighborhoods. That's when the reality buttons popped on for me. You have these super tough gangmembers that carry guns everywhere yet they STILL go to school? Would they go to school? Also, the school is such a dangerous place that armed guards frisk the students and relieve them of their weapons every morning. I was like " Duh! ". The so-called gangmembers are so wimpy and wussy you'd think they were " Leave it to Beaver " rejects. That's just one of the many unrealistic points of this film. If you spent time trying to fit common sense into Class of 1999 you'll miss the entire film.
Bradley Gregg ( Stand By Me ) stars as Cody Culp. After a stint in prison he comes out with a changed attitude which his gang ( The Blackhearts ) don't appreciate. His little brother Angel is finding Cody's " gone-good " behavior sickening and it causes a little riff between the two. Meanwhile the principal ( Malcolm McDowell ) has hired Stacy Keach and his menacing teachers to clean up the terrible school. How can they? Well, the three new teachers ( Pam Grier and Patrick Kilpatrick included ) are nothing more than fururistic killing robots. Soon all order is lost as they slowly go on a rampage and make Cody their number one target. Along with the principal's daugher, Cody partakes in a mission to stop the evil robots ( are you laughing yet ) you should be. Anyway, all heck breaks loose by the end of the film when The Blackhearts team up with their rival gang to stop the robots. The film goes from a wannabe " Lean on Me " to " Terminator " in less than an hour. If you get lost don't worry because the plot is to blame. If you like Sci-Fi I guess you can squeeze this into your regime. If you can't tolerate silliness at all then don't bother to watch this. But if you're an all around movie lover like me who just likes to watch films at least once...go right ahead. But don't be surprised when you feel like a train's run over your sanity by the end. Enjoy.