Top critical review
I AM HOTTER THAN EDWARD, BUT I STILL CAN'T ACT
on February 17, 2016
Mousy Kristen Stewart, who dates outside of her species, causes a vampires vs. newbie vampires vs. werewolves war, perhaps the best scene in the movie, which lasted about two minutes. The movie is filled with numerous flashbacks, primarily to the 19th century. Unlike the Harry Potter series where the acting improves from one movie to the next, this one does not. No wait. It is not bad acting. We discover that newbie vampires are uncontrollable and emotional. Vampires that are uncontrollable must be destroyed, so only unemotional vampires, who simply appear to be bad actors survive. They in turn like the aroma of infrequent bathers and wig wearers who are also bad actors, i.e unemotional. So that explains it. They are supposed to be unemotional. Why the werewolves, who look like an underage male revue sucked, I don't know.
The most painful scenes are the one on one dialouge scenes. Here their "unemotional" ability comes out. Unfortunately this consists of too much of the movie as I kept yelling at the screen, "Get on with it!" Besides Edward's glitter, what is also unnatural is Kristen's hairline. I kept waiting for her fake hair to fall off. Young females will certainly rate this as 5 stars as the whole unnatural world is fighting over one of them, one that lacks a great body, personality, or hygiene. (Just a joke about the hygiene as everything unnatural keeps sniffing her scent.)
Kristen wants to be a vampire. Edward doesn't want her to be one. Edward wants to get married. Kristen doesn't. She wants to have sex, but Edward doesn't want to have sex out of marriage. (Guess the compromise coming in the next movie?) Dad doesn't want Kristen to date a vampire, but would rather she go out with a werewolf. The movie saga has become overly hokey.
It is unfair to say all the acting was bad. Alice Cullen was noticeably good, although she normally appears talking to Kristen. In one scene an excited Alice tells Bella, "You will be spending the night in our house with Edward." Bella, whose blank face doesn't even twitch, has a long dramatic Shatner-like pause, and finally remembers her line and says, "Like, alone?" It was MST-3000 bad. I had to laugh.
Dakota Fanning, who can act, played a very minor role where she wasn't allowed to act, just recite a few lines. The movie reminded me of "Billy Jack" where fans of the movie couldn't fathom why the Academy overlooked the movie, or when Star Trek fans couldn't understand why Shatner never got an Emmy. They would say, "Maybe because William Shatner was so good as Captain Kirk, they didn't realize he was acting." The same could be said of the Twilight series. We really don't realize these people are acting (except Alice).